this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2023
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My partner went out tonight and gave me a shady excuse (beehaw.org)
submitted 1 year ago by neamhsplach@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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They took off on their bike earlier and when they came back I asked where they'd been. They gave me an odd answer and I smelled a rat. I pointed out the inconsistencies and still they doubled down on the "why don't you trust me". I was unwell with worry at this point, I didn't know what to expect.

I don't advocate for going through people's data but I was a little bit insane at this point and I needed to know what was going on, consequences be damned. So after they fell asleep I looked at their phone. The last app that had been opened was 2good2go. The fucker had gone and picked up a free burrito without me and tried to hide it from me ๐Ÿคฃ

What does it all mean?? Should I confront them or let it slide??

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[โ€“] heartlessevil@lemmy.one 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Seems like quite an unhealthy relationship if you don't trust him and went through his phone. It seems like he would be right not to trust you.

[โ€“] Dee@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, there are a couple issues here. First being that they felt the need to hide the burrito from their partner, and the other one being that their partner had violated privacy by going through their phone without consent.

No win scenario, honestly. Sit and stew that they didn't trust you with the food info or confront and watch the situation explode as you reveal you didn't trust them more.

[โ€“] neamhsplach@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah fuck thank you for commenting this because you're dead right about that last point. I felt possessed, I needed to know what was happening because I just knew they were lying. But going through their phone isn't a trustworthy way of verifying that.

As I mentioned below, I am SO relieved that it was a burrito and nothing else. I just find the lying so weird.

They're the one who complains about me ordering fast food too! Maybe that's why they hid it, so they wouldn't seem hypocritical??

[โ€“] Dee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, that's probably the reason if they give you crap about it like that. Honestly, it seems like a great thing to work out in couples therapy. Having a neutral mediator there might go a long way. Idk your situation or how much that makes sense (more sense for marriage, less so for dating). But there's a line of communication somewhere that's been broken and needs to be mended to move forward. Best of luck OP.

[โ€“] neamhsplach@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago

We're working through some stuff right now for sure. I'm just so glad it was a burrito