dharmacurious

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[–] dharmacurious 2 points 1 month ago

The small goals part isn't about setting goals you currently need in addition to what you're already doing. It's about setting goals you know you can reach with minimal or no effort. By doing that, you create a pattern of "winning," of achieving. It can help translate into other areas by tricking your brain into wanting to set more and more goals.

And career specifically is a tough one. Hygiene and food and shelter is all natural to us, but going out and working in an office or for a boss isn't the natural state of the human animal. It's something cultural we created for ourselves, and as such it can be a harder area to push yourself into in a lot of ways. It takes a different part of the brain, y'know?

Depression's a helluva drug, and it can make everything seem terribly difficult, but when it finds one area to really fuck you in, it can be so horrible to find any motivation. Especially in those areas that are outside of our evolutionary instincts. Have you considered speaking with a professional about medication? The meditation and the gamifying and such have helped me some, at the advice of a shrink, but medication is what got me through my early 20s. I'd be dead today without it.

[–] dharmacurious 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Don't sabotage Slef. He's a good dude, who's had a hard life.

In all seriousness, though, I'd love an answer to this as well. It's hard once you find yourself in a cycle of procrastination. You get used to allowing yourself to put things off, and it makes it harder to get back into the habit of doing them right when you should.

A few things that help me:

Do it right now. Remember that you left that important thing in the car? Haul your ass out there and get it now, because it gets trampled under foot and lost. Eat a bowl of cereal? Wash the bowl now, not later. Later doesn't ever get here. There's always more later when you think later is going to be.

Meditation. Try it. If nothing else, you get a nice little break from whatever your normal routine is, which in itself can help you shake things up. 5 minutes of deep breathing and focus can do wonders. I'm not great at meditating, and sometimes I wonder if I'm even actually doing it, but 5 minutes of breathing is better than not doing 5 minutes of breathing.

Set really small goals. Like, ridiculously sillily small goals. Goals you'd set for a small child. It will feel silly, and childish, and you maybe will feel embarrassed about it, but "I will brush my teeth" or "I will clean that dish" or "I will wash my face"

They're things you're going to do anyway, but turning them into a goal gives you a sense of accomplishment, and allows you to get into a habit of completing goals. Gradually increase the goals, and gamify life. It makes you feel accomplished, gives you a sense of progression, and helps to set a pattern you can use going forward.

I hope these things help, or that you find something that does.

[–] dharmacurious 2 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Y'all making me want to try Ubuntu again. It was go to whenever I dual booted, but finally made the full time switch to fedora a while back. Maybe I should dual boot fedora/Ubuntu for the fun of it. Haha.

[–] dharmacurious 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder if someone could still install boot root? I'm not a techy person, but I'd watch the hell out of that YouTube video!

[–] dharmacurious 15 points 1 month ago

Me, too! I wonder if there's a connection I hadn't considered before...

I'm going to assume not, because my mom taught me to make the ice cream, and now I'm uncomfortable!

[–] dharmacurious 24 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I make salty ice cream. It's delicious. That's not a euphemism or anything. I actually make actual ice cream, and I add salt. It's wonderful.

[–] dharmacurious 1 points 1 month ago

Yup. Had a major crush on him growing up (though I didn't recognize that's what it was, exactly), and then found that pic. Lol.

I have a bit of a type. Well, like 100 types, but one of them is definitely the cute slob or schlub type. Think smells the armpit of a T-shirt before putting it on while listening to green day. Lol always does it for me

[–] dharmacurious 25 points 1 month ago (3 children)

No, not gross. Before I knew I was gay it more frustrating than anything. Like, I knew this was sexual, I knew I wanted to enjoy it, and I knew it made me horny. But it wasn't enough to cross than line into, like, getting me there and being enjoyable. It wasn't until I found my brother's porn magazines that I really enjoyed porn, and that was because of the guys in it, and a few erotic stories in them written from women's POV. I still didn't realize I was gay or that it was the guys getting me there until one day, when I was like 13/14 and I had a blackberry. I found a site that had nude pictures of celebrities (some blog, not like a dedicated site), and there were (I'm assuming fake) nudes or Kirk Cameron on a boat. OMG, I got off so hard, and then went into full panic when I realized what that meant. Spent the next few years trying to figure out how to undo it. Lol.

[–] dharmacurious 11 points 1 month ago

Spit grosses me right the fuck out, but if it's floats someone's boat I don't judge. Just don't spit on me, please. Dude spit in my mouth a while back and I almost died on the spot

[–] dharmacurious 70 points 1 month ago (6 children)

My dad got these black market cable boxes from one of his less than reputable friends way back when. We got literally everything, including full porn channels that weren't scrambled. They were technically blocked by my parents, but the family pincode was well known.

I used to watch the porn channels and never could figure out why they were so... Meh for me. Turns out, very gay. Lol

Once my parents split up we didn't have those boxes anymore, and I used to watch Cat House and went through the same "why is this so frustratingly close to being good" experience lol

[–] dharmacurious 11 points 1 month ago

I mean, it's not like you need a lot of space around each one, consider the size of the occupant

[–] dharmacurious 3 points 1 month ago

Quacks within quacks, moving in any of the four directions!

Lemmy rocks, and these are totally getting saved

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