LadyAutumn

joined 1 year ago
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mtf
[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 17 hours ago (6 children)

By politically isolated I'm going to assume you just mean conversion therapists who will try to convince children they are not gay or trans. Because if you're not giving them affirmative care and listening to them the alternative is denying them.

Conversion therapy kills people. That's what it does. That's all it does. It is NOT possible to stop someone from being gay or trans. It has never been shown to be possible in any fucking way. Conversion therapy does not work, has never worked, and is equivalent in mental distress to severe psychological torture. It frequently involves physical and sexual assault. It involves emotional abuse and manipulation. All in service of forcing us to conform. This is the alternative. If you're against affirmative care this is what you're for. Think about telling these people that what happened to them was right. Think about going to the lived ones of people who took their lives while undergoing conversion therapy. Think about telling them that what happened is right and should be legal. This is what you're advocating for. This is the side that you're on.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (2 children)

I was a transgender child. Going through forced puberty led me to attempt suicide at 14 15 and 18. Parts of my body are covered in self-harm scars due in large part to the utter repulsion I felt at the effects of testosterone on my body. I became an alcoholic at 16, and an oxycontin addict by the time I was 20. The day my voice cracked was one of the worst days of my entire life. For reference I started counseling when I was 13. I was receiving therapy throughout all of this.

I am extremely lucky to be alive. I have had to spend tens of thousands of dollars undoing the harm testosterone did to me and some things I can never fully undo. I could have avoided all of this if I had had access to puberty blockers. If I had been offered puberty blockers, I would have taken them without a thought, and I categorically would not have regretted them. I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was 4. I knew that I didn't want to go through testosterone puberty when I was in grade 4, and they taught us what that was.

Is forcing us to go through what I went through humane? When a real treatment exists right there? When studies show a less than 1% rate of regret for gender affirmative care for minors? Do you realize you are forcing children to go through what I went through? Do you realize not every child will survive? Do you realize you're supporting causes that kill children? For no fucking reason? Because you don't fucking understand what we go through and have no fucking interest in listening to us? How about asking trans kids what they fucking need? How about asking trans adults what being a trans child was like for them? No you have no fucking interest in any of that.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 65 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

One of the many reasons Tokyo does have those train carriages is because women are systematically discouraged from speaking up about being assaulted, even as it is happening. Even in a public place surrounded by other people. The offense was and, to an extent, still is often treated as a nuisance rather than a violent sexual crime. Empowering women who speak up about being assaulted and prosecuting sexual assault offenses is how you reduce assault rates. Make it easier for victims to speak up, and show that what happened to them will be taken seriously.

Creating women's only carriages isn't a solution but an affirmation that men are on some inherent level sexually abusive (therefore decreasing the seriousness with which assault is treated, and decreasing the likelihood women who speak up will receive support as "that's just how men are"). It also, you know, only does something about one very specific kind of sexual assault. It does nothing to address sexual harassment and assault committed in any other public or private space.

I can understand feeling safety in environments free from men when men are essentially given free reign to do whatever they want to with minute amounts of offenders ever facing any kind of punishment. I also feel that simply creating women only cars doesn't go far enough and actually in some ways enables alternative lines of justification for sexual assault if a woman isn't in a women's car. People can and will ask why she didn't take the women's car, as though it is the personal initiative of women to prevent themselves from being assaulted.

Christian Anarchy specifically has a long history dating in some ways back to the early church period. A very direct interpretation of the New Testament clearly directs one to renounce wealth inequality and to view all people as equals. Especially the beatitudes from the sermon on the mount, which literally says that the poor and persecuted are blessed and will be the ones to go to heaven. Many Christian anarchists view the violence of the state as inherently incompatible with Jesus's command in the antithesis "to love thy enemy" and "turn the other cheek." It is also commonly argued that nationalism is an example of idolatry, which is condemned in the ten commandments.

Jesus himself lived what can only be described as a bohemian lifestyle. He ejected the merchants from the second temple. He criticized kings and merchants. He was a willing martyr, willing to die rather than to resist violently.

All these things contribute to the long-standing traditions of Christian Anarchy. A very literal interpretation of his teachings and emulation of his way of life leads one pretty naturally to anarchy. There exist anarchist communities in many major religions.

Being religious does not mean being orthodox. And even among orthodox religious people there's a lot of variability in beliefs. Religious people are absolutely welcome in LGBT communities, given that they aren't bigoted towards queer people. If you are queer positive and support queer rights, then it doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are. Lots of queer people are religious as well. Queer spaces are for them too.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Love your lack of interest in learning about people with different beliefs and identities from you.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gonna go against the grain and say that you are totally valid for wanting a space that is accepting of your faith, politics, and identity.

As an anarchist, I get being ostracized for political beliefs for sure. I myself am non-religious but have met a lot of Christian and Muslim anarchists. It's hard finding leftist spaces that aren't rapidly anti-religious on the best of days, let alone ones that are also lgbt positive. Wish I had easy solutions.

I run a community for trans feminine people where anyone is allowed to post regardless of their faith. I'm pretty sure most of the other lgbt spaces on blahaj.zone would be open to the kinds of discussions you're interested in.

Christian anarchism is actually one of the oldest forms of anarchism. Many early anarchists were Christian and derived their political beliefs from gospel.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Memes and other image content are allowed here!

Your ability to ignore arguments presented to you and lack of initiative to learn what terms mean is astounding.

By all means, go after the non voters. I'm sure that will defeat fascism. Do you even know fascism means?

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm all for overthrowing the political status quo entirely. Problem is organizing it, getting enough people on board.

Dems were supposed to be what saved us from fascism. They didn't. They campaigned on doing that and then failed. They deserve criticism for that. Fascists do not care what we think. They will continue their projects with or without our approval. Anti-fascism needs to adequately counter their methods. But properly countering fascism is impossible if you're a neoliberal conservative. And so thusly we are here. Waiting patiently for the powers that be to give a tyrannical fascist all the power he wants. They go back to their upper class lives, while the rest of us prepare for a new world order.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Yeah, we're just going in circles here. The assumption being made is that everyone who didn't vote actually had an opinion and was just "too stupid, too lazy, or too disinterested". I don't think that's the case at all and it's kind of offensive to even suggest it.

Idk what you mean by whipping boy lol... are you under the impression that criticizing them for things they do wrong is equal to abusing them in some way? They're some of the most powerful people in society lol. They're not poor, destitute, honest working Americans. They plan to literally shake a fascists hand as they give him nuclear launch codes and unrestricted federal power. They share the same system Trump does. They benefit from it in the same ways he does.

 

Like in 2016 a rising tide of conservatives emboldened by the Republican victory are starting to crop up online. Hate speech and random attacks directed at the trans community in online spaces will continue and most likely grow louder in the coming weeks. For our safety and mental health I encourage everyone to avoid online spaces that are not strictly moderated. Avoid social media where transphobia and misogyny are tolerated. The effect of constact exposure to hate speech is profound and horrific. We need to shelter ourselves from it as much as possible. I know it doesn't sound very brave to say that but its the truth. We need to look after each other of course, but first of all we have to look after ourselves.

Like everyone here I've been through a chaotic mess of emotions over the past couple days. I am furious, heartbroken, terrified, and sick with anxiety. I have picked apart everything thats happened in the past few months and tried to make sense of how this could happen. The hows and whys of it dont matter though. This is the reality we are confronted with and we have to exist within it. There is no use in praying for a different world. There is no use in lamenting the reality as it exists.

Trans people have made it through so many eras of open hostility towards us. Our community is built on the foundations laid by those who came before us. We persevere because of our solidarity, our empathy and our unity. We must now turn our attention to how we can fight back against this system. We must move our focus to how we can persist within a new world. Trans people still need hormones. We need ways out of hostile communities. We need protection and we need security. Our focus must change to how we can provide those things without the help of institutions. We need networks of supportive cisgender people throughout deep red states. We need supply chains for bringing hormones to people who cannot access them. We need communities online oriented around supporting our most vulnerable.

I am committed to this community supporting all of those efforts, and am looking to become personally involved in organizing efforts as time goes on. Channel your anger and your fear into action. Process your feelings together, support each other, and remember that youre not alone. We are not alone. Things aren't okay. They won't suddenly be okay tomorrow. But we can look after our community. We can push back. It's our duty to do so, for trans youth and vulnerable trans people who can't advocate for themselves and are subject to the whims of the system.

 

I don't know what comes next. I don't know what to expect. It's serious. It's real this time. Prepare for the worst-case scenarios and do not assume anything. A lot has been said about how this administration plans to handle queer rights. It could mean anything. No level of institutional violence against trans people is off the table as of now. Medications can be banned, non-conformity with assigned roles can be criminalized, conversion therapy can be accepted as widespread policy. I don't know. The end result is it's not good. Whatever this change in power means for us, it's not good. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of what's at stake here.

That being said, as escape and resistance efforts materialize, this community will support them. We will persevere as queer people have always had to. When the systems fail us, we rely on each other. Grassroots efforts will come together in the coming weeks and months. I encourage people to do what they think is right and to do what they think will keep themselves and their families safe. We have to stay together and we have to love and protect each other. No matter what happens. Unity and queer power doesn't stop now. Today is a day to mourn the loss of a safe world for so many queer people. Tomorrow, we should begin to steel ourselves for resistance.

I hope the best for everyone. This community is here to support us all as this unfolds. I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say or do. The waves of anxiety and fear have been washing over me for the past couple of hours. Let's mourn together, I guess. And get ready for what comes tomorrow.

There's some crisis lines in the sidebar I encourage anyone to make use of if you're unsafe right now. Those are all explicitly trans affirming support lines.

 

I havent gone swimming in around a decade, and now that I'm a little over a year post up I really want to but I'm still so nervous to actually go and buy a swimsuit. 😅 there's something intimidating or nerve wracking about the process.

Anyone have experiences buying swimsuits? Is there any tips going in I should know? I think I know what style I want, a 2 piece with high waisted bottoms and a top with an underwire.

 

I was thinking of making a community engagement post last week in the run up to the Easter weekend and transgender day of visibility, but it got lost under a recent promotion at work and a few busy days.

So yeah how was your Easter weekend / TDoV? 😊 Most of my family is on vacation so I just had a quiet weekend at home with my partner. All the drama that went down with TDoV landing on Easter Sunday was.. unsettling to say the least. I hope everyone was able to weather that storm of hate and propaganda safely.

 

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to quickly add that the finalized format for requesting engagement has been decided. A commenter in the other thread suggested a similar format. (Thank you @Kayday@lemmy.world)

At the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the following.

[Requesting Engagement from _________]

For clarity purposes, this is the official way to request specific engagement groups. I'll respect other methods, but this way, it keeps things nice and transparent.

 

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking over how to address large amounts of outside engagement disrupting the safety of our community. As Lemmy is a large space that extends well beyond the borders of our community, when posts hit front page we often start getting a lot of engagement on posts by people outside of the transfeminine experience. Often well-meaning people engage here and say things that are insensitive, require OP to further explain themselves and their experiences unrelated to the topic of the post, or disrupt the safety of the space for transfeminine people.

This is a problem that I'm taking seriously. The purpose of this community as I see it is and has always been to provide a safe supportive community to transfeminine people. So with that in mind posters are now allowed to request engagement from specific groups on their post. This can be gender diverse people, trans people with unsupportive parents, trans parents, people who have struggled with addictions, trans people of color, etc.

I've seen a few people make comments on engagement issues lately and so I've decided that this course of action makes the most sense to preserve the safety of the community while still allowing engagement from other people when that engagement is wanted.

How you choose to make this clear is for the moment up to you. You can add a tag in your title, state so explicitly in your title, or write it somewhere in your post (try and do so clearly as I might not have the chance to fully read your post in time).

Moderator action may be taken per your request. I'm choosing to keep a steady eye on how this affects the community and to ensure that it isn't being weaponized against marginalized people within our community. I ask that everyone is patient and expect some adjustment to this new rule. A certain amount of discretion will also be applied on a per incident basis, this is not a rule banning all non-transfems from the community just providing posters a choice with regards to engagement.

This new change has been added to the sidebar and is considered effective immediately.

Feedback on this change would be great. If you think some aspect of this should be changed or you have concerns please let us know.

 

It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.

Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓

But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.

This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.

What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.

 

I'm starting to hit a bit of a wall with voice training lately. I can find my resonance, I can adjust the positioning of my vocal cords and where my voice is coming from. I occasionally pass on the phone, and I work all day over the phone so I do get pretty regular indirect feedback in terms of how my voice gets me gendered.

But I am very much struggling with pitch and maintaining consistent pitch. It's just not happening and even when everything else is perfect my pitch will slip, and then I'll get misgendered. I cant seem to find a specific pitch and comfortably rest there. I'm also 8 years in at this point, I've been doing voice training for a long time and I just think when it comes down to it I might be one of the women for whom training alone just isn't enough.

I've done a lot of research into glottoplasty and find myself in a financial position where I could hypothetically afford it. Most accounts from people who've had the procedure seem to indicate they've had great results with it, but there's a lot of people who swear that it'll basically render me mute if I get it done. Its minimally invasive and the surgeon I'm considering has good rapport with his patients and I'm confident he'd do great. But on the whole I'm hesitating a little bit and curious what other people think. I do IT work that involves using the phone quite a bit, but if I had to take time off work for a little while that would almost certainly be fine. I don't sing and really don't have any concerns with regard to vocal range either.

Are you considering vocal feminization surgery? Why or why not? Have you experienced similar things with regards to voice training, or has training alone been enough for you?

Feel free to chime in with whatever thoughts you have on the operation or voice training in general.

 

I'd like to welcome @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone to the transfem moderation team! 🤗 Ada is one of the admins of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance and a very active member of the transfem community. She has already been providing me with assistance in running the community and answering any questions that I have, she's a perfect fit for our second moderator.

The addition of Ada to our moderation team helps maintain the safety of our community and our readiness for more complex moderation issues. Please as always report any rule breaking you see and we will address it as soon as possible.

Thank you so much Ada for joining the moderation team! 😄

 

I hope everybody's had a great week so far. I wanted to make some kinda post to engage everyone in a casual context. I was originally going to ask in the title "who has been really supportive in your life recently?" So if you want to answer that I suppose you can lol.

I myself have to work all weekend but its the evening shifts so I'll be fine. My best friend has been especially supportive of me lately, she took me out shopping when I was in between paychecks and even bought me a couple crop tops I wanted. I really appreciate her being so willing to do those kinds of things with me even tho she has social anxiety. Having supportive people in your helps a lot.

 

Hello everyone! 😊

I wanted to make a post reaching out to the community after we recently passed the milestone of 2K subscribers! I'm very happy with how this community has grown and become a place for transfeminine people to vent and connect and share trans joy.

With the continued growth of the community and the recent wave of new subscribers we have been having some issues with trolls coming in to the community to bully or harass our users. Please be vigilant of transphobic trolls and report any and all rule breaking content that you see. That includes bullying comments, dismissive comments, gate keeping comments - even if those comments are coming from other trans people. Report them, this community is first and foremost meant to be supportive and maintaining that is a priority.

Along those lines, please don't overly engage with anyone coming here to cause trouble or to bully someone. It's not worth your time and just draws more attention to our community as a space these trolls are drawn to. Its entirely possible at some point in the future we may face brigading or other harder to deal with moderation issues. And to that end I will at some point in the future be looking to add another moderator. As of the moment I dont feel that's necessary, but as we continue to grow and our moderation needs expand I will continually reassess.

I'm also happy to allow image posts in this community, but I did recently add a new rule of no NSFW image posts. And we haven't had any yet, but bear that in mind as any that come up will be removed. I think that having image posts is fine in general, though I'm interested to hear if other people think this should be a text post only community more similar to r/mtf.

 

Seems weirdly unintuitive that we can't already. Its also weird that swiping from the left while in your profile profile doesn't pull out the sidebar.

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