FlatOut: A great introduction to the chaotic demolition derby racer. This game laid the groundwork for the entire series and it feels wrong to deny its place in gaming history. This is more of a test of the destruction physics, a tech demo, if you will, with racing elements. But, this is still a great game regardless. The handling is great, it feels fun to control, and the destruction physics are amazing for 2004. It is such a simple intro, but what an intro it is. FlatOut truly revolutionized the racing game genre with its destruction physics engine. For 2004, this was state-of-the-art, and it still is to this day. This game is, without a doubt, a true technological feat in racing games, and gaming in general. Definitely a game you should pick up and play. This is where FlatOut got its start, and it is an absolute gem to play. While not the best game in the series, it is a great introduction to the chaotic nature of the series. I got this for free on GOG during Valentine's Day, and it was an amazing experience. I loved FlatOut, and GOG were absolute chads for giving this game away for free. The best element of the game has to be the fact you can fly through the windshield if your car accures too much damage. This is an easy 8/10. Definitely pick this one up.
FlatOut 2: ABSOLUTE PERFECTION. THIS is, without a doubt, the BEST game of the entire series, bar none. This is where the series hit its peak. There is a huge sense of speed, and that destruction engine is just... mwah, chef's kiss. This is a game for everyone who thinks that 'crash test dummy' should be a career choice. Wrecking into opponents and causing obscene crashes that feel borderline impossible in real life utterly satisfies me. Not to mention the handling, every vehicle feels so different but each of them feel perfect to control. You are very likely to oversteer on some vehicles, too. And, this is the first game of the series to include Nitrous. If you are in the air for a certain amount of time, or wreck into your opposition, you earn Nitrous, which allows you to quickly pick up insanely high speeds. The damage model of this game is, without a doubt, the best of the whole series. When I first played this, I instantly fell in love with it. I literally was yelling at the AI drivers like a madman, in a good way. I have never experienced this kind of feeling since I played Burnout 3: Takedown. Without a doubt, the best game of the whole series. THIS is what an arcade racer should feel like: chaotic and fun to play. The best part of the damage model is the improved version of flying through the windshield from the first FlatOut game. It's honestly a better version than in the first FlatOut. And that scream? Absolutely hilarious, one of the funniest parts of the game. This game is seriously on par with how much fun Burnout 3: Takedown was. It is always so much dumb fun to just wreck into your opposition and do insane crashes in whichever way you can. One time during a race, an AI driver flew over me with incredible height, and crashed right into a silo connected to a nearby barn on the other side. The car went absolutely nuts, rolled over several times before landing on its side, and the driver flew out of the windshield with incredible distance. I had to swerve out of the way to avoid getting hit, it was a moment that truly never could have happened in any modern racing game. Another time during that same race that silo crash happened in, I rammed into an AI opponent that was in first place from the car's backside, and in doing so, took both me and him off course. I then slammed into the side of his car, used my Nitrous, took both him and me back on the track by sliding his car across the grass while boosting, and then spun him out, taking me from second place to first place, and ultimately winning me the entire race. Another one that happened during that same race was that I was dragging an AI opponent and sliding his car into a barn by pushing his car on its side just like the AI opponent later on, and in doing so, crashed him into wood, sent him back several places, and severely damaged his car. It was so satisfying. It is literally just as fun as Burnout 3 is, and that's truly saying something. This is truly one of the all-time greatest racing games ever made, one of the greatest games ever made, and one of my all-time favorites, it truly falls under the Holy Trifecta. FlatOut 2 is an absolute must-play for anyone who loves arcade racing games, or racing games in general. This one gets a well-deserved 9.5/10. Truly one of the greats. How the heck do you top literal perfection? This one is truly unbeatable, no future entry can and will ever be able to top this. Might even be the Gold Standard. Who cares, though? Get it! It's worth it!
FlatOut: Ultimate Carnage: A great sequel to one of the greats, FlatOut 2. It honestly feels like DLC for FlatOut 2, kinda similar to how Burnout Revenge feels like DLC for Burnout 3. Is it better than FlatOut 2? In my opinion, no. But not by a long shot, either. The graphics are very sleek and polished, a little bit more than its predecessor. The tracks are also very fun to race around in, handling is still excellent, and the damage model for the cars is still amazing. But, the reason I feel that Ultimate Carnage is knocked down a peg or two for me, personally, is because it just feels more or less the same with updated graphics. It didn't have that big leap that FlatOut 2 did. In FlatOut 2, new mechanics were introduced, like Nitrous. But, Ultimate Carnage is just FlatOut 2 with a new coat of paint to make it fresh. No, I am NOT saying it is a bad game, far from it, in fact. But, I don't feel the same way I do for FlatOut 2, since FlatOut 2 revolutionized the entire series with changing the series into an arcade racer and adding useful mechanics. It is just nothing more than a great sequel in my eyes. But, it doesn't have that technological leap its predecessor did. Either way, pick this one up, it is a great game and you should absolutely check it out. Great game, gets a 9/10. Beautiful and very fun to play. Get it.
FlatOut 3: Chaos & Destruction: Easily the WORST game of the entire series. Bugbear handed the rights to FlatOut off to a entirely different studio, Team 6, so Bugbear could work on a different IP. And by God, this game is a complete train wreck. FlatOut 3 is, 100%, an absolute downgrade from Ultimate Carnage in every single respect. Actually, scratch that. It is arguably one of the worst RACING games ever made. The racing, which is one of the main focuses of the entire game, feels bland and uninspired. It actually feels boring to play, especially when the cars don't have the best handling, and in this game, they do not. They feel incredibly sluggish to control. Also, the puns and pop culture references when you select your character are flat-out painful to see. Some of them actually make me cringe just looking at them. The "Speed" mode where you race F1 cars isn't good, either, since there are, most of the times, uphills before sudden turns without warning, and the F1 cars control even worse than the cars from the main races. And this game is a buggy mess, too. Damage is almost NEVER calculated properly like in previous titles, and instead of your character flying through the windshield in certain crashes, they instead just get Thanos snapped out of existence. The AI is either brutally unfair as they can just get unnaturally fast and keep up with you to win races, or are absolutely braindead and don't know where they're at. And right from the get-go, the game's difficulty is absurdly high, even on the literal TUTORIAL race. The game's so broken as well, you can literally glitch through the terrain. Well, say goodbye to that car, it's heading to the Backrooms now. The WORST and most BROKEN physics, horrible AI that's either stupid or unbeatable, a laughably bad damage model, corny jokes, and the single-handedly WORST handling of any racing game I have ever played. FlatOut 3 is, without a doubt, THE worst game to come out of the entire series, and it completely ruined the series' reputation up to that point. Keep in mind, this game came out in 2011. You think they would learn from Ultimate Carnage and FlatOut 2. Nope! Far from it. Do NOT buy this, buy any of the previous games instead, you will enjoy them much more. I am sorry, but this... this gets a 2/10. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. Do not pick it up even if it is free. It is a waste of time, even if it is on sale, and it is just one of the worst racing games I've ever played. It's at least not The Day Before material where the entire game was a scam. But... horrible nonetheless. Avoid this game at all costs.
FlatOut 4: Total Insanity: A mediocre game that is FAR better than FlatOut 3. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just... mid. It doesn't have the same charm of any of the FlatOut games prior to FlatOut 3. The graphics, yes, are beautiful, but where is the fun, chaotic nature of the previous entries? Damage model is okay, but nothing to take home about. Car handling? It's alright, could be better. But it's seriously lacking in one MAJOR department: fun. The fun was had in the chaos. The ludicrous speeds. The crazy crashes and wrecks. While it is a massive and major improvement over FlatOut 3, it is nothing compared to any of the games in the series before FlatOut 3. It's just a mediocre racing game. There is nothing special about it. It's an alright game, but compared to FlatOut 2 and Ultimate Carnage, it's a massive downgrade and not an upgrade. If it were anything like FlatOut 2 or Ultimate Carnage, I would so be behind it. But, once again, different developer, this time, Kylotonn. My honest viewpoint for this game is to wait for it to go on sale. It's a mediocre racing title. It improved on everything that FlatOut 3 failed in, yes, but it's severely lacking in several departments. I will say that it is at least... a game. Not good, not bad. Just passable. I will give it somewhere between 5/10 to a 6/10. I would say a 5.5/10. It seriously needs some work. If this game was just as fun as previous titles, it would have a much higher score. It's just okay, that's all I have to say about it. I don't have anything else to add about FlatOut 4. I'd recommend you wait for a sale before you pick this one up.
Wreckfest: Okay, this is a great return to Bugbear's roots! I remember when this game was first being teased and it had the working title of Next Car Game and had that amazing and fun tech demo full with random crap inside of it. That tech demo is an amazing experience, an absolutely incredible and fun physics playground. I had so much fun messing around in that tech demo when it was first released at the end of 2013. It's a core memory. One of the most nostalgic demos I have ever played. But, Wreckfest as a whole is a great return to form for the developer Bugbear. This truly feels like a spiritual successor to FlatOut. The damage model is one of the best I have seen, and the cars feel great to handle and drive. The graphics? Absolutely gorgeous. The whole game truly feels like FlatOut 5. All of the little teeny tiny parts that come off of the car as it gets damaged is just so mesmerizing to watch and look at. Especially in that stupidly fun tech demo. This is everything that Team 6 wishes that FlatOut 3 could've been and then some. While it is a different game series entirely, it truly feels like a new entry in FlatOut. The tracks are great, and the demolition derby mode is a fun display of metal on metal mayhem. I could even say that this game is FlatOut 2.5. It brings back all of the fun of FlatOut 2 and completely modernizes and revamps it. But, there is one thing that this game lacks that unfortunately has to make me knock it down a peg, and that is the fact it just feels like... well, that - just a demolition derby racing game. A great game, absolutely, don't get me wrong. But it just feels like it has a little less of that arcadey-like feel that FlatOut 2 had. That's what made FlatOut 2 my personal favorite entry. Either way, Wreckfest is everything that FlatOut 3 should have been. It is kinda disappointing that FlatOut 3 went in the direction that it did, but by God, Wreckfest absolutely crushed it (pun intended) with the return to factor. In my opinion, this gets an 8.5/10. There is always room for improvement, though. But great game regardless! Definitely pick this up, it's absolutely worth the $30 or even at a slight discount.
My favorite moment of Portal 2 is easily Cave Johnson's lemon rant. Easily one of the best quotes in all of video game history.
"All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day! It thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! [COUGHING]"