One of my favorite Beavis and Butthead throwaway gags is when Butthead has to get his braces worked on and it briefly cuts to Beavis reading Highlights for Children in the waiting room and he just says “Heh heh. Yeah. Goofus is cool.”
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I just posted reading Highlights in my orthodontists office, is how I even knew these existed lol.
You and G.O.B. were like those biblical brothers, Gallant and, um... Goofuth.
I hear Goofus prefers charcoal over propane.
Bastard heating for a bastard.
Or its ploy to make nobody else want the cookies due to having his finger germs, leaving them all for him, cleverly disguised by pretending to just be innocently stupid instead of greedily malicious to lessen the consequences and increase the odds of success.
Goofus does not care about climate change.
Gallant leave no room for ambiguity and simply takes them all.
Goofus touches several cookies before choosing the one he wants
GOOFUS
Evil. So evil.
Nah, goofus is a dumbass because he used his fingers. Use your dick on them, and they're all yours.
spoiler
This also works on things other than baked goods. It does not, however, work with toddlers. You don't get to keep them if you rub your dick on them.