this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 39 comments
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[–] thehatfox@lemmy.world 36 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It’s that daft haircut, he’s adopted a different style recently and suddenly looked 10x more human.

No amount of barbers can disguise the blokes behaviour though.

[–] sebinspace@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

IIRC, he does that to resemble Caeser Augustus or something to that effect..

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's never not fashionable to style oneself after inbred royalty.

[–] sebinspace@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

It took him 20 years, but I think guy finally figured that out

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] bquintb@midwest.social 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

daftpilled blokemaxxer

[–] hatedbad@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 4 months ago

if you’re talking about that recent pic of him floating around with a chain and a bread, that was an AI doctored photo

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 33 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I MUST CONSUME LARGE QUANTITIES OF CHARRED MAMMAL FLESH

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"This bird appears to have been lying in the sun for some time."

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ugh yes I was told to prepare for that. I will try some of your burnt replicated bird meat.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I love that Mark's just a regular guy.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 21 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The thing is.. everyone is a regular guy.

All the movie stars, famous musicians, politicians and renowned scientists, yes, those are all regular guys too. They eat, shit and fall asleep on a pillow every night or about as much as regular people do and usually not all at once. 2 arms 2 legs 1 head and so. Mostly. A bit above average perhaps, but generally they have a regular number of limbs.

Mark likely does all those regular things just as well as regular guys.

However.. Someone who goes on a live stream to introduce his new cutting edge technology by staring into a camera without blinking for 45 minutes endlessly mumbling about smoked meats while rocking a caesarian haircut. That's also perfectly regular.... for a lizard.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Think circumstances, achievements, influence. About their status, wealth, talents, impact.

Basic human functions: “normal” (except for the maid cleaning their skid marks off the bowl, the million thread count pillowcase).

Almost anything else: distinctly unique. When he gets sad or injured, his care’s different. When he fights with his wife, their opportunities for mediation are different. His most basic human needs can be met lavishly. He is capable of having needs we can only dream of.

The fact a billionaire poops is kinda the least interesting or perhaps relevant thing I can think of, but maybe I’m missing a part of the perspective.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm not even sure if the previous poster was being serious, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually thinks of Mark Zuckerberg as a regular dude, because he's so dorky and awkward that it's relatable for some people.

It's pretty clear that the guy has affuenza and having trouble with social relations. I don't hate that about him, but it doesn't mean that I will ever consider him to be a regular guy. Like many other rich kids, he never had to grow up and grow out of the juvenile belief that money is the end goal. He's still a 15 year old thinking it's clever to cheat and win in monopoly.

He's a character though, and I like that about him. The world could generally benefit from having more oddballs, instead of billionaire eccentrics. In this way, I'd award him 1 more charisma point than Elon Musk.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

money is the end goal

What does drive this guy?

That’s right, it seems the awkwardness extends to managing his billions. (Wouldn’t us normal people lobby our politicians to increase our tax rates? And take a tiny bit of the plentiful amount left over to buy the most comfortable, if not the nicest and fastest, car available?)

1 more charisma point

I’ll have to go in on that to make it double.

Zuck: a seemingly good guy operating a company that’s often bad for America and bad for the world

Elmo: an enormous jerk somehow still operating multiple companies that, best case scenario, could be great for the world

Eyeball licker is a clear winner!

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well, that's fair. I have to point out that the tabloids are pulling a lot of words out of very little data. Exactly the opposite of what Zuckerberg does. He might very well play them like a fiddle.

Anyway, another plus for him is that his phone number is publicly available. I'd like to call him up some day just to talk about meat, while I never really have any reason to call Elon.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

Telecommunications from his human friends are one of his greatest pleasures. Pick up that phone!

[–] quantenzitrone@feddit.de 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They eat, shit and fall asleep

what?

oh there is a comma there

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was only taught one comma rule in English: "if in doubt, leave it out ". In this case I would advise you to leave it in.

However it's your pillow. You make the bed that you sleep in.

[–] quantenzitrone@feddit.de 1 points 4 months ago

honestly i have no problem if zuck eats shit

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

All the movie stars, famous musicians, politicians and renowned scientists, yes, those are all regular guys too.

Today I learned... I'm a regular guy?

Huh.

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

It's weird I always thought of you as the Joker's sidekick

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 2 points 4 months ago

With all respect, yes, I hope so.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

He tries so hard, god bless

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

He's so normal, I'm in love! 😍

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

what was this about mortar shells ?

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

haaaaaaaahhh

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Penta@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago
[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 months ago

I can't tell if this is real or not

[–] L0wded_@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

Does that replenish his energy in his testicle too

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Mortar shells? uhhh I'm not sure what mortar shells he's been around or how he's cooking that meat but those are two sounds that should not align.

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Mortar shells are fireworks

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Better but still not how your grill should sound...

[–] rockstarmode@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The grill doesn't sound like fireworks, but using it reminds this human of holidays that are associated with both meat cooked over an open flame and fireworks. 4th of July in the US is what the meme is talking about.

[–] Shadowq8@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

in my lane unbothered.

[–] MilitantVegan@lemmy.world -3 points 4 months ago

Was this written by a vegan?