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My boomer parents will die on the hill that it sounds "wrong" to use "they" to refer to a singular entity. And whenever they bring that up, I always remind them that the word "they" has been used in that way for AGES.
Example: "Whose umbrella is this? Did they already leave?"
It doesn't seem to make a difference.
Watched a video that addressed this in good faith, because it is a tad awkward. They brought up and old term (because this isn't new), "thone", short for "the one". And I'mma be real with you, "THE ONE, DIRK MCCALLAHAN" does ring kinda hard.
It doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Most people arguing about this are coming from an emotional place, so facts and truths don't really matter. If gender in language is important to your in-group, that's what matters. Not the history of language. Not the dictionary. The group believes this. If you reject your group, you'll die alone. Or that's what the brain would have you believe. We're all a little susceptible to social influence on belief. Some people are just unwilling or unable to overcome it.
Belief is social.
For many people, emotion is the only truth.
It's important to understand that Hank is specific to say "correct prounons" and not "preferred prounons". We as creature of civilization have to right to control our place in that creation, so when someone misgenders, it's not that they are nessecarily showing disrespect, but being factually wrong. It's okay to state the wrong thing if you don't know, but if you insist that only YOUR interpretation of another person is correct, even more so than how THEY THEMSELVES interpret themselves, then you have crossed the rubicon in to bigotry.
To see another person on the street and think you have a better view of them than they do in a mirror is just wild levels of arrogance. They know themslevss far more than you ever will.
That's John Green, but they're the same person, according to the internet.
This is exactly the comment I was gonna leave, I strongly dislike the phrase "preferred pronouns," because that implies that it's a preference. Big props to John for making the distinction
I'm getting pretty old.
Transgender stuff is new and confusing to me.
My only experience with it was in a bar I used to frequent in Los Angeles, though I think they were more transvestite than transgender. Pronouns never came up there. We just used names.
It's easy for me to use any name given when introduced. If you introduce yourself to me with a feminine name when you appear quite male, it's no skin off my teeth.
Pronouns are more difficult simply because of my embedded native language of English dictating gender. While difficult, it's no more inconvenient than to slow myself down, think about what I'm saying, and try to use what's preferred. If I should slip up, then maybe a brief, "oops, sorry about that," is in order.
The hardest thing for me is if I have known you as one name and now I've got to use a new name. This has nothing to do with gender or politics however. It's just how my brain stores things. My sister uses a different first name in adulthood than when we were kids, and I never have been able to adapt. Since my sister is awesome and understands me, she gives me a pass on this.
Bottom line, the linguistics can be difficult for us oldies, but that doesn't give us reason to fear, hate, or persecute.
A lot of the transgender people I've befriended and even dated. They all stick to the simple things.
They don't really care about whatever the hell the pronouns have gone to. They just wanted to be the opposite sex. Some, wanted to be no gender. Others, were genderfluid. They weren't pretentious by coming up with 50 different genders and 50 more ways to call them by.
And most of all, they just wanted to be accepted.
I'd even go simpler than that. "If calling people by their preferred pronouns is one of the hundred biggest challenges...." Inserting "correct" into the statement just begs to get into an argument with a conservative and feels like you're trying to force them to accept a different reality than they want to.
IMHO it's simply a personal preference thing. Let people live how they want to live. You don't have to convince everyone that Sally is really a woman trapped in the body of a man, you just have to say that it's her preference you call her as a "she". People should have the freedom to define themselves. That's it. End of story.
My conservative neighbor brought up trans stuff thinking he'd use all the conservative media talking points and my answer was simply "it doesn't really bother me. I'm a live and let live kind of guy. If they want me to use a different pronoun I'll do my best to switch to that pronoun." If you spin it as a freedom instead of a reality then it's easier to accept.
It's the right phrase, and if it triggers a conservative to start arguing, so be it
Using pronouns isn't a "problem" though, it's that people genuinely don't care.
I don't care very much if I'm honest. I've never interacted with someone who informed me that their pronouns were not the usual ones.
It also never happened to me but I imagine the conversation would be something like:
Hello X
Please don't call me X I don't like it, call me Y instead
Ok
~ ~The end~ ~
People genuinely do care considering Jordan Peterson's entire career is based on the whole "you can't force me to use your pronouns" bullshit that no one was trying to force him to do in the first place.
What's with the comments in this post?
I feel like it was written by people where English is their ~~third~~ fifth language.
Not knocking it. But even AI sounds more natural.
Guarantee most of the people who argue about pronouns on the internet don't even know a trans person.