https://lemmy.world/post/616615 there are great tips in that thread, I think you can find a way.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
682 points (97.1% liked)
Microblog Memes
5708 readers
4703 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
The OG Lemmy meme.
3 days is one thing, 8 days is impossible, (unless you don't eat anything.)
I have a newborn that hasn't had a shit for 5 days. According to our doctor, anything under 10 days is "normal".
So to answer the question...breastmilk?
Delicious, nutritious, shitless
load more comments
(1 replies)
I did a 7 days water fast and as far as I remember I only pooped on the second day or something.
And on the seventh day, God dropped a holy deuce and rested.
Honestly, over 8 days, I feel like even if you only drank some kind of liquid nutrients, your body would still filter out enough solids that you'd have something moving through your colon
load more comments
(1 replies)
What nostalgia this brings lmao. The not pooping for 3 days meme is just as iconic as the influx of beans posts.
Yeah, my hope was that more people would get the reference when I posted this.
We're here, bud.
You done good work
Fun fact of the day: extreme constipation can result in build up that can reach all the way to your stomach. If the situation does not clear up soon after, patients might throw up poop. This is extremely dangerous and often results in suffocation by shit.
Best fun fact of the day that I have ever read.
You're trolling, right? RIGHT!?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE TROLLING!! PLEASE!!!!!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Just shit, because you are human and shitting is a thing that humans do.
this guy shits
load more comments
(4 replies)
Just use the lobby bathrooms at the hotel. If he loves you he’ll understand and be thankful.
Source: have done this myself
Y'all ladies need to read Everybody Poops if you think you need to sneak off to lobby bathrooms.
No. If I have to hide my poop he doesn't really love me
That's the way.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Opiates. Often and overly.
DO NOT MISS A DOSE!
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears, never mind that's the opposite.
Well once you've finished you'll be so cleared out that you'll have a waste deficit.
load more comments
(2 replies)
What a bizarre way to live, pretending you don't shit
Pretty sure it’s a joke
Might be, but it's also very much doable.
When I went to confirmation camp, it was on an island with no water toilets, only outhouses. Some of my peers just wouldn't use them for shitting, as they had never had to be without a "regular" toilet.
When there was a visiting day like a week after the start of the camp, I think someone had felt too nauseous and given in. I know this because I was assigned to empty the outhouse barrels. Which some mischievous visitors (older siblings who had gone through the camp themselves a year or couple before) had filled up to the brim with a hose, so all the shit was in liquid.
When we emptied them I saw a shit log the size of my forearm. All veiny and shit. Wouldn't be out of place in the South Park episode about massive poos.
So idk man, I think it's a joke but also, people do do that. ("Doo-doo", hehehe.)
When I'm traveling, my digestive system just shuts down. I went on a trip recently and I didn't shit for a week. That first shit looked as you described and nearly tore my asshole open. At least the toilet had a bidet.
I think there's definitely something to that. I don't really have a problem shitting anywhere, but it's still crazy sometimes how much my need to excrete accelerates the closer to home I get. Like coming home from a store and you're not really even feeling the need, but then in the hallway, suddenly, you do, intensely.
load more comments
(5 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I couldn't make it past three days. The pain was excruciating. Do not recommend. And what I left in the toilet that final day....it wasn't natural.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Super glue your anus shut.
Disclaimer, do not do this, it's a horribly painful way to die.
load more comments
(2 replies)
The solution is to not give a shit.
Ah finally a topic that aligns with lemmys expertise.
Just "hold it in" on the second floor of the hotel. The conference floor.
Girl just poop
Butt plug maybe?
She's not practicing her chess. She should eat a wheel of brie everyday
load more comments
(2 replies)
As an experienced butt plug enjoyer, the plug will shoot out if you have enough stuff trying to exit your body. And if you have even SOME poo that really needs to come out, it will be SUPREMELY uncomfortable.
load more comments
(3 replies)
I wouldn't recommend fiber.
From experience: Army ration packs certainly help 👍
Everybody poops 2: that hole you've been fucking is full of shit.
Shit yourself in front of him, angry face style. Like a pain shit you're mad at. No embarrassment or tears. Own it. If he loves you after that, marry him
Maintain a state of intense terror the entire time.
This is how you get stinky farts
view more: next ›