this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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radishnt

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

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mothman-misato

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

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boimgfrog

Radish. Answer the question radish.

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radishnt

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn't realize there was an actual reason

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boimgfrog

#u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

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catsnraincoats

[ID: Tags reading "u think i have the patience to boil water wtf?????" /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

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boimgfrog

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

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catsnraincoats

Its takes less than a minute

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boimgfrog

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

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catsnraincoats

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

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boimgfrog

Like seven minutes

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catsnraincoats

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes... less than that is u use a saucepan...

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boimgfrog

Crying you're putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

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pidoop

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

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silverjirachi

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

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wizardlyghost

(Enter RADISHN'T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN'T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN'T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution's brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour'd drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group

must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 270 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

Guys this took me way too long to transcribe but I could not go without posting it. wizardlyghost wrote that shit in iambic pentameter. This is the first time I've ever seen someone use iambic pentameter when imitating Shakespeare, and they did it fucking flawlessly

ETA Y'all magpiecrown illustrated this and it's the best

[–] Ashen44@lemmy.ca 56 points 6 months ago

I greatly appreciate you posting this. That was extremely impressive and absolutely hilarious!

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 52 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I act'ly think they may have done better
Than William Shakespeare often did himself.

His lines are full of near approximates
Of perfect iambic pentameter.

[–] Shyfer@ttrpg.network 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well in Shakespeare's defense, he has to write full plays like that, while this person just got to focus on a scene.

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 months ago

Worth it. Thank you kindly!

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[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 123 points 6 months ago (7 children)

To be honest I would use the microwave before I'd use the stove. Stove takes ages because it has to heat up the bottom of the mug before it actually starts transferring into the water.

But holy shit guys. Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 53 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

Yay I get to post a tech dad vid

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Fuck yeah. Love me a @TechConnectify@mas.to vid. As a non-American, before I first saw that one, I didn't even know microwaving water was a thing Americans did.

But since seeing it, I now actually use my kettle to boil water for other purposes, like cooking pasta, too. It's great. Both much faster, and also uses less water than my old method, which was pouring hot water out of my kitchen tap (which required waiting a long time and a lot of wasted cold water for the hot water to get through the pipes from the water heater to my kitchen), then pouring that into a pot, then putting the pot on the stove and bringing it the rest of the way to the boil.

[–] Lemming421@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I’m slightly too young to get away with making this joke honestly, but

You drink the water that comes out of the hot tap?

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[–] johan@feddit.nl 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

On one hand that thing is cool, on the other hand I don't want to have to memorize a fucking Konami code to get it to dispense the right kind of liquid.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] clb92@feddit.dk 18 points 6 months ago

The americans are crying in 110V right now.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 months ago

I used to use the microwave because I was a kid and my family didnt have one of those fancy electric kettles. But then I moved to Ireland and never again can I live without one.

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[–] Ixoid@lemm.ee 62 points 6 months ago

That was a hell of a read. Both times.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 57 points 6 months ago

"Boil by nuke?"

I almost disturbed an entire hospital waiting room.

[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is the greatest thing I've ever read. The king at the end sent me

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[–] teft@lemmy.world 41 points 6 months ago

I went in thinking no way would I think these people could all be lunatics. I was wrong.

[–] Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago (2 children)

In a British accent: "Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?"

[–] zaphod@jlai.lu 7 points 6 months ago (5 children)

They're probably americans (doesn't matter which flavour), their kettles are low powered because of that low 120V mains and not wanting to spend more on thicker wires.

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[–] reflex@kbin.social 30 points 6 months ago

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

There's more like this?! Where, pray tell?!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 26 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Cold brew tea is a thing. It just takes way, way longer (like 12 hours). This is how my mom used to make iced tea. Just throw a couple bags in a pitcher and have it in the fridge overnight.

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

We always did sun tea. Tea bags in cold water, then placed in the sun to heat up that way. Which could get quite warm in the summer sun.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

I wonder how different it tastes; even when making iced tea, I still use water from the hot spout (instant hot water from a small spout on the sink) to 'brew' the tea. Might have to try this but I don't want to toss out a jug of tea lol

[–] strawberry@kbin.run 25 points 6 months ago

omg I've naver seen this with the Shakespeare part

absolute work of art

[–] 018118055@sopuli.xyz 22 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Lol @ 115V with my 3kW kettle.

If I could get a 3-phase kettle I would do it.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've barely had my morning potion, almost shopped for a 3 phase kettle thinking it was some new tech. Then I realized it was the wiring being referenced.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

sips coffee

Tea drinkers, amirite?

[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but do you use hot or cold water for your coffee?

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Hot or cold what in your coffee?!

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[–] Hupf@feddit.de 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 6 months ago

i just want to hope that tumblr never fucking changes

[–] maquise@ttrpg.network 13 points 6 months ago

No, no, the last two were onto something with the whole Shakespeare thing.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 months ago

Absolutely glorious! :,D

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I microwave the water for tea sometimes…

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