this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2024
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[–] Heresy_generator@kbin.social 144 points 7 months ago (5 children)

“The southern border will be directly in the path of totality today when the moon covers the sun for nearly four minutes.” The eclipse, co-anchor Bill Hemmer then added, represents “a real opportunity for smugglers and cartels and migrants to come right in.”

This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 76 points 7 months ago

Cartels: "we have four minutes, guys, we've been planning since 2017 for this, get ready!"

[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 52 points 7 months ago (2 children)

FOX NEWS ALERT: Rotation of the earth creates HOURS LONG windows of DARKNESS that allow EVIL MIGRANTS to SMUGGLE DRUGS. Liberal CONSPIRACY called "heliocentrism" to blame.

NEXT UP: Copernicus: Evil woke liberal who fought the catholic church and "proved" the theory that allows migrants to cross the border undetected

[–] PlantJam@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

Yeah but the 9-12 hours of darkness at night is different, those four minutes were completely unexpected by anyone without access to internet or common sense.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 2 points 7 months ago

It's Critical Centrism Theory, and they're trying to teach it to your kids!

[–] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 14 points 7 months ago

I genuinely thought you were joking but no, that was a real quote.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 12 points 7 months ago

Imagine if there was a ten hour period every day when you could "smuggle". The world would be a horrible place. Wait the world is a horrible place but not because of that.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 7 points 7 months ago

This is how stupid Fox News knows their audience to be.

It's just the "smart" Republicans watching now, isn't it? Didn't the stupidest ones go over to Newsmax and OANN?

[–] bahbah23@lemmy.world 76 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sheriff Lamb, a frequent guest on the right-wing media circle and harsh critic of the Biden administration’s border policies, gave the only conceivable answer: “Look, it gets dark every night.” 

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

“Look, it gets dark every night.” 

Top minds at work.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Top. Minds.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 62 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The eclipse crossed into Texas from Mexico and was bussed to Buffalo, New York using Texas state taxpayer money authorized by Greg Abbot. I saw the whole thing.

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

You’re my new favorite person. Your subversive comments are delightful.

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 35 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

2010 thanksgiving dinner

Hey mom and dad. Got my engineering degree and working in the big city. Doing very well. Also met a girl and wow she is something else it's getting serious. Took me a long ass time to come out here to see you guys and have dinner. Can we talk about something else besides Obama being a gay Muslim bad guy who hates America? No? Hey you are grandparents now, how does that feel? Twin boys wow. Maybe we can talk about your grandkids for a minute? No? Hey Mom heard you got a promotion at Walmart to head cashier. That's good right? No, guess you still want to talk about Obama.

Never again with those people.

[–] extremeboredom@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's really sad how propaganda transforms our loved ones into people we don't want to be around ☹️

[–] umulu@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Too true...

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Oh no the smugglers have 4 minutes of extra night! I'm sure it will affect the situation massively! Jesus Christ what are the writers smoking over there

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago

What ever it is it's def a lot better than what I've been smokin

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

In one of my pictures, there were chemtrails leading directly from the sun, proving this is all about control. Biden caused the eclipse so we’d all look up and fully absorb the mind control chemicals

(Although seriously, it was a pretty cool picture with the contrail crossing directly between me and then sun)

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 7 months ago

Love how you can see the eclipse in the lens flare

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I meant like in a pics community, but that’s cool!

[–] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm convinced they've given up like an aging Rockstar trying to play the hits of the olden days. The musician the spews the same tune, though it's body is aging.

The younger ears and minds don't care for the song. They only think of their aging grandparent in the corner with a lonely record player, possibly playing its last tune. While they listen to there favorite song.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

If only the younger minds didn't care for the song.

Way way too many do.

[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 17 points 7 months ago

Just can't turn off the Spigot of Stupid for 5 mins and enjoy one of the wonders of the universe, eh?

Has anyone tried turning off the fawx building and turning it back on? Like a WIFI?

[–] ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 7 months ago

When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 10 points 7 months ago

Clearly the smugglers will sneak in while everyone's craning their necks upwards at the eclipse!

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 7 months ago

If everyone is watching the eclipse, who is watching the border!?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

They're insane children who think Speedy Gonzales is a real person.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 7 months ago

Well, they got to pivot away from the microchips in the vaccines that were supposed to activate during the eclipse.

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

No matter which country, I am just wondering how do regular people fall for this bullshit propaganda? Do they have an IQ equal to that of a dead elephant?