Personally, I think every woman should go to jail for keeping her eggs in her ovaries. That’s child imprisonment.
How dare they.
this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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Every egg shed is another egg dead. We need to outlaw tampons and start using corks instead.
Again, don't take my satire seriously, the whole situation is absurd.
Every woman should empty her menstrual cup into a test tube and mail it in.
You say it as a joke but what if people started mailing their menstrual blood to the houses of the shitlords passing these laws
They can email it in these days right?
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Christ, he must be FUMING
The Alabama ruling was specifically for one case. However, they made a very general ruling which could be used to argue all kinds of things that make no sense. The court even acknowledged this but said something along the lines of "it is not this courts duty to determine other cases". Essentially "The clinic is being sued for wrongful death of a child and they argued this law doesnt apply to frozen embryos. We have decided it does and the case can move forward. We acknowledge this sets a terrible precedent but we don't care. Also here are some Bible quotes because the Supreme Court of Alabama uses the Bible for legal arguments and somehow this isn't religious law"
I'm still trying to process your words.
Don't get me wrong, all your words make sense grammaticaly, but the state of the world makes absolutely no sense.
If it's any slight consolation whatsoever, the Bible quotes being used as evidence was just from the concurring opinion (that came to the same conclusions for other reasons from the majority), written by the chief justice of that court.
Alright, gotcha. They also didn't have freezers when the Bible was written. So, care to re-evaluate your comment?
I mean, I don't begin to understand it, and it terrifies me. But at least it's far away from me for now.
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It doesn't make much sense.
When a high court makes a decision, all the lower courts need to follow it. If a high court says anyone on trial for murder must be tried as an adult, then all the lower courts need to follow that rule. It is incredibly rare for a high court to make such a broad rule though. Usually their rulings are much more precise. Like: on trial for murder, over the age of 15 and shows at least 4 of the following 12 signs of maturity: has a job, has a driver's licence, etc...
This was a case where their ruling was incredibly broad and had no conditions. They literally said "we are adding 'frozen embryo' to the legal definition of 'child'" and just left it at that. This means all courts in Alabama must consider frozen embryos to be children when ruling on cases, which of course has a lot of practical problems.
Already people have pointed out that in vitro fertilization has effectively been banned. All IVF clinics in Alabama are currently closed. Republican law makers cheered this until it was pointed out that IVF clinics create babies. They aren't abortion clinics. Now they're scrambling to re-legalize IVF in Alabama. So yeah, all the old men in Alabama have zero clue about what they're doing. They just like ensuring everything is considered a child because that's what Jesus wants.
It's always been okay. Conservatives don't give a shit about child safety.
Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em... as long as there's human suffering to be had!
Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em...
But for the love of God, do not under any circumstances educate them!
I'm not even a religious person, but you preach the truth!
Strange fellas, those Conservatives. When I was young, I thought getting education was at least as bad as being starved, frozen or shot. So why is it singled out?
Don't forget their continued legal right to marry them off to 50 year old men.
It also means that abortion in Alabama is now legal as long as you freeze the results.
Holy fuck?!?! I can't find any fault in that logic.
I keep mine next to the ice cream
Just don’t accidentally grab the wrong container or it will be murder and cannibalism! Shades of Kronos.
Accidentally?
removed
That's called Benadryl.
Fuck yeah, I'd be down for a QuietAfternoon2000. Hell, do they make one for adults? I'm ready for a good nap.
Ooh, sorry, you've already purchased the "Over-30-Everything-Hurty" DLC for Living: Life and we don't offer refunds, so....
we don't offer refunds
That's ok, I'll cut my losses. Just take it back.
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Thank you for your interest in returning your Life: Living DLC "Over-30-Everything-Hurty". As part of our efforts to allow you to enjoy the current season Capitalism: If You Don't Own Everything You Own Nothing as quickly as possible all DLC was registered to your account by $Mother on $Birthday. Unfortunately, once tied to your account any registered DLCs can not be removed.
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The package is no longer sealed, we can't accept returns.
It's not acceptable to freeze children? Brb...
Make sure to thaw them slowly
Thank fuck you're here, was going to use defrost on the microwave.
Well microwave was made to defrost frozen Hamster 🐹 to life. You are not too far of the track. If you want to know more there is a Tom Scott video on it.
Microwave was actually invented from repurposed radar station parts, but I'm enjoying the comment thread, so carry on..
I saw that! Amazing stuff.
No no, eggs tend to explode in the microwave
If you could freeze people, and, this is important, and unfreeze them without any repercussions or harm. Then it would be totally normal to do. Oh I'm going on a trip I'm getting frozen they will thaw me out on the other side.
Courts deciding on nature of reality is peak Kafka.
It is not a new story though. A family member argued about a traffic accident, that the description provided by the other side is physically impossible. The judge replied, that physics would not count for humans.
A lot of people who study law do so, because they are terrible at sciences.
Kafka is also not a new author.
And yet courts making stupid rulings surely predates him? (Even if that example does not)
Sure, but he was the best to describe the absurdity.
So true.
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