this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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I'm still in my 20s, but as of a few years ago I started forgetting what's my exact age. I always have to stop and recalculate it each time someone asks me. I get asked fairly infrequently, but when I do it's a bit weird/embarrassing that I have to say "wait, let me calculate". (I know when I was born, of course.)

It seems as if there's no good reason I'd remember it, since it changes all the time and it is rarely mentioned in practice. But others, including people much older than myself, know their own age immediately.

I'm also terrible at remembering people's names, I don't know if that could be related?

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[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 105 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My birthday never changes, but my age changes every year. I forget it for like 9 months of the year.

[–] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 12 points 9 months ago

I have an august birthday and I keep forgetting sometimes until like January or something of next year then I just go have another and the cycle repeats

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 83 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I did and I don't even know how long I was wrong or when I lost track. I thought I was 27. I signed up for some forum and put in my birthday on my profile and it automatically put my age on my bio. I was like 'lol stupid website that's wrong' then I did the math and realized that I was the stupid website that was wrong.

[–] RatherLemming@reddthat.com 66 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

This is normal. As a kid, you're asked about your age much more often, and you're often thinking about it as you look forward to hitting milestones - reaching a certain grade, your next birthday, legal age for driving, voting, drinking, and so on. Once you're in your mid to late 20s it starts to matter a lot less, and people tend to have to do math, or if you're like me, just ask your spouse.

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 56 points 9 months ago (1 children)

After about 26 it doesn’t matter much any more.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Normal once you enter adulthood. In your childhood and teen years there are lots of things that change about your life on your birthday (drinking age, age of majority, being allowed to drive a car, etc), no longer a thing in adulthood unless you want to run for president or something like that.

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[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Normal.

I spend th3 first half of being 35, being 36.

[–] Repelle@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I was never 35. Thought I was 36 until my 36th birthday when I realized I had been wrong for the previous year.

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[–] FelipeFelop@discuss.online 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not unusual at all. Everyone I know does this. Nothing wrong with you it’s just that age (and birthdays) becomes less important. Also once past a certain age you actively want to forget that you’re old, so you need to consciously think about it.

But don’t worry, once you get into your 80s it becomes a badge of honour and the older you get the more you’ll think about it.

[–] antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 9 months ago

once you get into your 80s

Thank you for being so optimistic :)

[–] Laticauda@lemmy.ca 23 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

As someone with adhd it's completely normal for me. When you're a kid you have good reason to keep track of your age because at that time of your life you change dramatically between ages as you develop as a person, plus it's important when asserting your identity to other as that too develops. When we're older it's just a number that only comes up once a year and is not that much different from the previous number, and so it's easier to lose track of especially for people who have an affected working memory and time blindness like me. Idk if you have adhd or how often people without adhd experience this sort of thing but I can speak for my own experience. I forget how old I am, and other people's names, all the damn time lol.

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[–] pixelscience@lemm.ee 21 points 9 months ago

I thought I was 43 for probably close to a year, and even told everyone that asked I was until I had to get my own health insurance and found out I was actually 44.

[–] AnarchistArtificer 19 points 9 months ago

I've been getting it wrong since I was around 23. It's often a case of "hang on, am I 23 or 24?" where I'm off by one year. It was easier during university because I knew of my peers' ages and that made my age mean something relative to them. Now, age doesn't come up regularly at all, so I'm more likely to forget and have to work it out as you describe

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago

Yes,I have had to do math. It doesn't really matter.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If the question is "am I the only one who ...". The answer is always no.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 20 points 9 months ago

You're right, but they did ask if it's normal.

Something that only happens to 1 in a million people is not normal, but one of those people asking would not be the only one.

[–] papabobolious@feddit.nu 18 points 9 months ago

I was 27 for three years

[–] laurelraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 9 months ago

You're not alone, I started not really remembering around that time too... Birthdays just weren't a big deal anymore and there was so little call to bring it up once I was old enough to legally buy alcohol.

Eventually, you get to the point where you'd like to forget, and you may ask yourself, how did I get here?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

When nobody, not even yourself, make a big deal about your birthday yeah. Happens to me all the time. I just turned 39, 2 weeks ago and before that I wasn't sure if I was going to be 39 or 40 without doing some math.

[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago

No it's not weird, it happened to me at times. It's good that you're not thinking about your age so much that it's so familiar if that makes sense. I don't make a big deal of birthdays and my age isn't a big deal to me.

You'll likely remember better in those years when you hit a 0 though.

People may misunderstand what you're saying too. For me it'd be "wait am I 27 or 28 this year?" And have to do a quick calculation. Not "I can't remember how old I am at all".

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I started losing track in my late 20s, sometimes I would think I was +/-1 my real age. I just checked my age now and I'm one year younger than I thought I was. Woohoo!

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Seems a bit early, but yeah, completely normal. As an adult, you no longer put as much stock in birthdays and neither does anyone else. It sucks sometimes, but it’s not important to life, so whatever.

On the other hand, I was watching a documentary the other day and it hit me that I just passed the average life expectancy of that society, so …. Shit

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Think of it this way - you beat that society! In a "that society vs you" contest, you're in charge, you're the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, the number one...

[–] isthingoneventhis@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

I forgot and somehow managed to convince myself I was a year older + told people that age all least year until my SO made me do the math LOL. tbh unless you're talking to the doctor or your date I don't think it really matters after a certain point.

[–] Pika@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago

I've been forgetting my age since I was like 13 of 14, age is quite pointless in the terms of things, I consistently need to think about it when I say my age lol, it makes my coworkers give a second glance

[–] NemoWuMing@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Lifehack: when someone asks your age, just reply "I was born in 2001"

Let them calculate

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[–] 56_@lemmy.ml 12 points 9 months ago

Started for me at 21. Also terrible with names, but I've never thought of that being related.

[–] indepndnt@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

A few months ago I was doing dishes and for some reason thought about my age and I literally couldn't remember if I'd hit 50 yet. Had to do the math to remember I'm 45 and that's quite a ways off. That's an outlier for sure, but yeah I forget.

It just doesn't come up often. There are fewer ands fewer markers. Before your 20s you've got hitting double digits, becoming a teenager, sweet 16, becoming an "adult", then not being a teenager any more. In your 20s you've got becoming an adult again (and maybe being able to drink if 21 is your drinking age), and then maybe saving money on insurance at 25 if that even matters to you. Then nothing. You might demarcate 30, but nothing really changes. In many senses now it's "just a number" and the individual increments fail to matter. There's no differential reinforcement to remembering where you are on the number line.

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's pretty common. Some rock band even made a song about it what's my age again

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

I mean, it's not really about how he forgets, it's about not acting like an "adult" in your twenties.

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[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I wouldn't say I frequently forget my age, but it happens. It's only worrying if you can't calculate it on demand. For what it's worth, after your late 20's or so you're basically the same person mentally and what changes are details like how much a day spent working in an office chair screws up your neck and back.

[–] shortwavesurfer@monero.town 10 points 9 months ago

I do this all the time. I'm 28 and about to be 29 next month, but I have to think about it to be absolutely certain. When I was less than 21, though, I could tell you my exact age, whenever you asked, no problem.

[–] Donebrach@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

For me it was after 30 (the pandemic didn’t help). It also doesn’t help being stuck in a perpetual rut of vaguely late 20s lifestyle due to how fucked the housing market is and how stagnant wages are.

[–] tooclose104@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

I was 33 for almost 2 years. Covid did a number on my interpretation of time..

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 10 points 9 months ago

I had a birthday and thought I was 28 for about 6 months, until my younger brother had a birthday and said that he was 27. I know that I am 2 years older than him, so I said that he had made a mistake.

It turns out that I had my own age wrong for those 6 months.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

When you’re 53, yeah pretty much normal.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 9 points 9 months ago

I started forgetting it at 25.

[–] MamboGator@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Without doing the math I honestly can't tell you if I'm 36 or 37 right now. In my 20s I could keep it straight, but I've been losing track ever since I turned 30. Now will somebody please bring me my blanket and some applesauce? I'm cold and hungry and don't recognize my surroundings.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I went from saying 20 something to saying 30 something and I'll brobably keep it up each decade but after 50 I'll just say old. Actually I already say old more often then not.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

It's more important how you feel. so if you can keep up with the 30-somethings in your 50-somethings, might as well not rub it in, right?

[–] Zacryon@feddit.de 8 points 9 months ago

If you are using a piece of knowledge rarely, it is less likely to remember it.

It doesn't matter whether it's some word from a foreign language you are trying to learn, a math formula or names and birthdays, even your own, or whatever.

I'm also terrible with names. But then again, I rarely use them. I even tend to forget my own birthday and would miss it if there weren't people around me reminding me of it.

If other people know their age and birthday immediatly, that's probably because they are regularly thinking about it. For names it is therefore helpful to use the name of persons you just got acquainted with very often in conversations with them.

[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

I always have to do the math to figure out my age.

Mostly because I dont celebrate birthdays or make any fuss about growing ever more one day closer to death.

[–] Fondots@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

I usually have to stop and think about it, not recalculate it but it takes a few seconds for the query to run.

I'm not big on celebrating my birthday, I just kind of check off some milestones

Old enough to drive, vote, drink, rent a car, run for president (not quite there yet, look for me on the 2028 ballot though) get an AARP membership, retire, and then that's pretty much it, then I'll coast the last couple of decades of my life no longer needing to know how old I am.

[–] elbucho@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

I occasionally forget mine, too, but I was fortunate in that I was born in 1970, so it's really easy to calculate it on the fly.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago

I've gotten a funny look from the security attendant at the casino when I took a few seconds to answer my age when he was looking at my ID.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago

After 40 it no longer really matters. Old people or people your age don't like talking about our age because it reminds us that we're at the back end of life. And young people just automatically look at us like we're old .... because we are!

Whenever someone asks me now, I just tell them I don't know. And if they insist, I give them a number anywhere from 45 to 49. And once I reach 50, I'll just tell people I'm old and not to bother me about it.

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