this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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A community for your defence shitposting needs

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1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 95 points 8 months ago

“If you kill me, you’re gay in Russian” written in Serbian with sharpie.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 69 points 8 months ago (2 children)
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[–] Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee 69 points 8 months ago (1 children)

“I have autism, please be patient”

If you’re gonna draft me, I’m sure as fuck playing into the ‘useless Joe’ meme and try and break my 1Sgts will to live

[–] verity_kindle@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's a strategy. You might get extra training that helps you live longer... .

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[–] AtomfriedMegaforce@lemmy.world 55 points 8 months ago (8 children)

"This side towards enemy" but on the backside of the helmet

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[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 55 points 8 months ago

In case of KIA delete browser history

[–] grue@lemmy.world 54 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

"Born to kill" and a peace sign.

(What can I say? I'm a sucker for the classics.)

Edit: after having read some of the responses in this thread, I might update it for modern times with "Yiff in hell" and a dickbutt.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"What is that? Some kind of sick joke!?"

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[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 54 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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[–] Remmock@kbin.social 44 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A superglued pull tab for an aluminum can.

An ingredient list and nutritional information on the side.

[–] twotonebax@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] 4RCH_U53R@lemmy.world 44 points 8 months ago

I use Arch BTW

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Idk but my gun is definitely getting named “Rooty-Tooty-Point-and-Shooty”

[–] Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

“Object Embedding Tool” 🤌

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lol. How about “Enemy truncator”

[–] skulblaka@startrek.website 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 36 points 8 months ago

O+

I haven't been in the army in 15 years and would probably need to prepare for a lot of blood transfusions.

[–] GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 8 months ago

Helmussy (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

my head goes in it after all...

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago
[–] Flumpkin 30 points 8 months ago

"Begun, the Climate Wars have"

[–] dsco@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 8 months ago
[–] einfach_orangensaft@feddit.de 25 points 8 months ago

"I just flew cargo drones"

In, Chinese, Russian, and English.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago
[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

TFW they tell you it wasn't a simulation and the war is suddenly over.

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the entirety of the vaporeon copypasta

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago

Born 2 Shit Forced 2 Wipe

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I suppose at this point, plain MESHPAT is considered retro enough to be cool again.

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago (3 children)

So when your heads explodes the helmet becomes shrapnel?

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's exactly what spray paint dots do. You got it.

Idk, sounds perfectly credible to me.

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[–] waitwuhtt@sh.itjust.works 20 points 8 months ago

Born to Feel

[–] SoupBrick@yiffit.net 20 points 8 months ago

"I fought in WWIII and all I got was this stupid PTSD."

[–] HotDogFingies@kbin.social 17 points 8 months ago

I HATE MONDAYS

[–] tristan@aussie.zone 16 points 8 months ago
[–] evening_push579@feddit.nu 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

🍁NERV or “Taiwan best China”

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[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 12 points 8 months ago

Go away I'm baitin

[–] AtmaJnana@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If I'm gonna die for a word, my word is poontang

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[–] spizzat2@lemm.ee 14 points 8 months ago

One side will say "Why am I here?"

The other side will say "Oh no, not again."

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 14 points 8 months ago
[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

"When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash"

[–] Lolman228@kbin.social 13 points 8 months ago

~~Single~~ ~~Taken~~ Gamer

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

headed down to the Winchester

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[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Just put a bunch of check marks on the helmet.

[–] Metal_Zealot@lemmy.ml 12 points 8 months ago

"Peace Salesman"

[–] Wirrvogel@feddit.de 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Comic Sans" in Comic Sans of course.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm gonna write 'Papyrus' but in comic sans.

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[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago
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