this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 224 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is not a zero sum game. there's no competition. We can deal with both problems, we don't have to pick a side.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well yes, and the starting point is by dismissing the myth that the double standards are not applied to everyone. They are applied differently, but it is not something that only affects one group of people.

[–] azertyfun@sh.itjust.works 34 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Is that really a myth? Because it feels like the only time this point is brought up is to "dispel the myth", not the myth itself which I frankly can't recall having ever heard.

My theory is that it's actually a mix of angry dudes feeling excluded because they weren't explicitly included by women talking about their own struggles, and of the fact that men just generally don't talk about their struggles. So the coverage feels disproportional and the only time the subject gets brought up it's because some angry misogynist managed to weave it into an "us vs them" discourse.

Men's mental health is a huge conversation to have but it's extremely disheartening that in the mainstream conversation it always pops up through misogyny.
So in the spirit of actually doing something about men's mental health, here's some actual discourse on the subject

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[–] BeardedSingleMalt@kbin.social 82 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm convinced the current influencer body standard for women (huge asses, giant lips, etc) was some joke by plastic surgeons and they just rolled with it

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Apparently anyone can become a plastic surgeon because I'd never get any sleep if I made people look like that.

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 52 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Dude I like seeing sexy people on tv. If I want to look at something mediocre I can just look in a mirror.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 9 months ago

You look mediocre? Lucky.

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[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 52 points 10 months ago (15 children)
[–] quams69@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] BangelaQuirkel@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

For sure a good six months of perfect training and diet, plus the steroids, AND the water manipulation.

[–] Oderus@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

I thought the T meant Testosterone, like TRT, Testosterone Replacement Therapy which is common for older men.

Like anything though, there's a fine line between use and abuse.

[–] MaxVoltage@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

and Amphetamines

yea bro we could actually get everything we would all look like that and all die at 50

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[–] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Me, spending 6 months fighting with (and losing to) body dysmorphia but not knowing what it was, since I'm a man and no one told me:

[–] Marebear@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As a woman it took 15 years before I found out what was wrong, at the time of finally seeing someone about it they said this was an average amount of time it takes to get help.

I hope you’re doing better now.

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[–] TheSpookiestUser@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Has anyone ever said the first statement up there in the top-left? I wouldn't doubt there's some fringe group that would, but I also think they would be in the vast minority and you'd need to specifically go looking to find it. I dislike this kind of meme for that reason, it's sowing a divide that doesn't need to exist.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have heard it regularly for a few decades now in person and media. When the dad bod picked up in popularity it was used as an example of how "men don't have to follow beauty standards" while ignoring all of the other expectations.

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

Last time I heard the term "dad bod", it was an article about how when they polled women for an example of one, the top answer was "Chris Hemsworth"

[–] Thatsalotofpotatoes@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, it's the water. That's the problem

[–] Poggervania@kbin.social 32 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Only part of it, but it’s kinda crazy that studios can go “hey, you need to literally dehydrate yourself for this shot so your veins and muscles can pop out more easily.”

But this is also the industry where Stanley Kubrick practically abused his actors and is a celebrated director, so…

[–] NENathaniel@lemmy.ca 13 points 10 months ago

To be fair you can make amazing movies and be a shit person

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

Actors careers really seem to be at the whim of industry insiders. Harvey Weinstein was able to get away with his shit for decades.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

It’s a lot of things. It’s a diet so strict and regimented it controls your life, same for exercise, and then they dehydrate for days. Is the water why random person on Lemmy doesn’t look like that? No, that’s because nobody looks like that unless it’s their job to look like that or it’s their only hobby or they have serious mental health issues pushing them that way. But it is dangerous for most people to even try because yeah it involves a lot of risky decisions and they don’t even look like that all the time

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 29 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I've gone longer than 3 days without water and I look nothing like those guys. Wtf?

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 14 points 10 months ago

Have you tried hiring a personal trainer and using 'supplements'?

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[–] foggianism@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago (11 children)

None of those guys have a healthy hard-worker or warrior body. They all have a dehydrated, 1% body fat gym bro body, just like Hollywood wants us to believe a healthy man looks like.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 9 months ago

blessed be the thor design from God Of War

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[–] Buffaloaf@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Apparently no one is allowed to have body hair.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What's weird is that hairy chests were considered the sexy style in the 70's and 80's, and then it suddenly changed. I blame Arnold.

[–] GreenAppleTree@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Looking at what the young uns are wearing these days (and the resurgence of mullets), I would put money on chest hair coming back within the next decade.

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[–] teft@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Cavill almost always has chest hair. The only time I can recall seeing him without chest and stomach hair is in The Tudors.

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[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This feels like "I'm 14 and this is deep" content.

It's obvious that all Hollywood, social media and advertising models are not the average person. Are there really people that think men would be exempt from this? I doubt many.

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[–] klemptor@startrek.website 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

did you expect "muscle & fitness" to have hugh jackman with the jumper on, or "good housekeeping" to have him tearing apart chores with claws?

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[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

abandon all hope ye who enter this comment section

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 16 points 9 months ago

Robert Pattinson's physique as Batman was criticised by the mainstream (mostly by incels) as not being ripped and is skinny, even though experts say his body in "The Batman" is the most realistic built most men would be able to achieve.

[–] UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Sure well defined muscles are aesthetically pleasing, but not nessa to be considered hot by most of the people you'll date

[–] Lesrid@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Very true, in my experience lots of women like the idea of strength from big muscles but don't really care to see the striated muscle fibers in a cut look. Hell some are turned off by the vasculature of my hands.

EDIT: Guys in comic books are ripped for the dudes reading them. I imagine the same is true for movie stars.

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[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

In case anyone is hoping to achieve the left side of the picture remember every one of the is on PEDs

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