this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
1019 points (96.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26238 readers
3318 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 345 points 9 months ago (8 children)

"Being a lesbian sucks sometimes. You tell another girl she's a hottie, and she says, "thanks" like we're being friendly. I ain't just being friendly, I'm trying to fuck!"

I think I translated it correctly.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 129 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Thanks for translating. As a non native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to understand these.... words.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 62 points 9 months ago (1 children)

To assist:

  • Lesbo: short for lesbian
  • Pish: an expression of frustration
  • Bangin': hot
  • nd: and
  • ye: you
  • am no: I'm not
  • tae: to
  • yer: your
  • pal: friend
  • shag: have sex with
[–] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

I got all of that except "shag ye x," because it sounds like "shag (fuck) you x," where "x" is the subject that is a bit vague. Like, "I'm trying to shag you, love?" or "Fuck your ex," as in, the last person you broke up with?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 45 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"x" is a kiss, used as an informal "yours truly" in British English digital correspondence

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought 'x' was hug and 'o' was kiss. Have I been wrong all these years??

[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

X is kiss, O is hug (at least, in the UK it is)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 17 points 9 months ago

I could be wrong, but I thought the x at the end was just a cutesy sign-off. Like "xoxo" type of thing.

[–] ZeroTHM@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure it's the x in "xoxo", the old convention for hugs and kisses.

[–] TSG_Asmodeus@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

xoxo... the old convention for hugs and kisses.

[–] trafficnab@lemmy.ca 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The release of Shrek is closer to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and the invention of the Sony Walkman than it is to today

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As a native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to figure out what it said

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

I had to imagine Karen Gillan saying it

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

As a native English speaker, me too.

[–] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (10 children)

Should watch still game. You'll end up with a brain aneurysm trying understand the Scottish pensioner's

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] neptune@dmv.social 22 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Isn't "coming from you" a put down? Or does it more mean "you care about fashion and looks, so obviously you know"?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 63 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It’s an amplifier. “You’re hot” makes it mean “someone as hot as you thinks I’m hot? Damn”, “you smell terrible” makes it mean “how the fuck do you of all people even notice my small with that rank odor”

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

...And she says, "thanks" knowing I'm a lesbian and appreciate female beauty sexually taking the complement more intensely. I ain't just being....

ITIFTFY?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 124 points 9 months ago (19 children)

I swear Scottish people are the only ones who type in their own phonetic accent

[–] BluesF@feddit.uk 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (5 children)

~~Scots isn't just an accent, it's a language in its own right.~~

~~Although honestly I'm not sure how much of this is Scots and how much is just specific to Scottish twitter lol~~

So actually having done some more reading this isn't Scots - I'm fairly sure this is Scottish English which is somewhat a merging of Scots with English.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Lots of people do it here in Austria too, and I hate it.

[–] soulsource@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

A geh, is doch iagendwie liab, oda?

Übahaupt, jetzt wo si Hochdeutsch imma mea duachsetzt, und vü junge Leit übahaupt nimma richtig östareichisch^1^ redn leanan, missn ma doch schaun, dass unsa Sproch net oafoch ausstiabt, oda?

Mia hom a a longe Tradition, wonns um Mundoatdichtung geht. Da Dichta von da obaöstareichischn Hymne zum Beispü, da Stelzhamer Franz, hot gonz vü in Mundoat gschribn.

Und weis ma grod eifoit: Es gibt a a eigene Wikipedia in unsam Dialekt: https://bar.wikipedia.org/ Oba do dua i ma söm schwah, dass i des vasteh. De is scho in da äagstn von de oagn Mundoatn gschribm.

(So, jetzt woas i net, wöcha Sproch i im Dropdown do untn auswöhn soid... Wei wirklich Deitsch is des jo net...)

[^1^] I am fully aware that the dialect I'm writing in is not called "Austrian". The two big dialects spoken in Austria are "Alemannic" and "Bavarian", and the one I'm writing is the Bavarian dialect. I'm only using the word "östareichisch" here, because that's what I expect most people to use in spoken conversation.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] johnyrocket@feddit.ch 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Newfies do the same. Was a whole fuckin thing to unlearn when I found the Internet lol

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (16 replies)
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 68 points 9 months ago (9 children)

It's easier if you read it out loud with a Scottish accent. Works for novels as well!

“Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!”

― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

[–] maryjayjay@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I had to read half of Trainspotting like that!

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fucking. Genius.

Welp. We're friends now. What are you doing tonight?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"PICTSIES!"

Cracks me up every time.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 58 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I miss scottishpeopletwitter, did that move over here?

[–] lilsolar@sh.itjust.works 28 points 9 months ago

U can make one, then post the reddit posts here until the sub goes off

[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The least politically loaded and agenda-pushing peopletwitter. That sub encapsulates the lightheartedness of Scottish people.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] crackajack@reddthat.com 58 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I understood that, surprisingly.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The names James, Bond James, Bond James is having a stronk call the bondulance

[–] teuast@lemmy.ca 11 points 9 months ago

Bond Name's the james

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago
[–] clark@midwest.social 17 points 9 months ago

Words can’t describe how much I love this tweet.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if pirate talk origins are from Scotland 🤔.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

Is there a Duolingo for this particular language?

load more comments
view more: next ›