this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 140 points 11 months ago (2 children)

To be fair, as a man, I've also done this when I was about to meet a girl. In case I get jumped or something. You never know with internet strangers.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 48 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've met many internet strangers before, and I've never had an experience like that bbefore. That said, I also generally meet strangers in public places, so nothing happens.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Movie gangsters have it right, first date in a well lit diner with huge windows, and your hand in a paper bag on the table.

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[–] otter@lemmy.ca 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Good rule of thumb for any meeting where you might end up in a non-public space.

If you're just doing a buy/sell thing, you can count on doing the entire exchange in a public space. If you're meeting someone for a date, you might end up in a more secluded setting. It doesn't happen as much around where I live, but I've read stories of it happening in other parts of the world

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 113 points 11 months ago (3 children)

With my experience with dating sites if I was into murdering random internet strangers I don't think I'd use dating sites to acquire targets, the amount of legwork would be unreasonable, it's almost impossible to get anyone to talk to on those things.

How am I supposed to lure potential victims to my kill dungeon if they ghost me all the time? Seriously it's a problem.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 70 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

😆

Seriously. Post a pic of some Air Jordans on Craigslist, you'll get the victims.

[–] DJKayDawg@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Air Jordans!? Which isolated location would you like to meet at?

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[–] Komatik@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Its seems you already killed them in conversation how else would they ghost you /joke

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[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 109 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a gay man, this is also pretty common. I have a friend who knows if I ever get laid, specifically because he's my emergency "if I'm murdered here's what to tell the people" person.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 11 months ago

Came here to say the same thing as a gay man.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 95 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I actually had a girl take a picture of me while I was driving specifically for that purpose when I picked her up for our first date. She told me "I just need to send my friend your picture in case you murder me." Lol

[–] aksdb@feddit.de 97 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I hope you sighed deeply and then said "well, guess I have to murder your friend now too".

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, if they find that funny or not would be an easy way to check for compatibility

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I have a close friend who when I first met I asked out and she rejected me. Now when she goes on a date and texts me something like "hope he's not a serial killer", and I text her back "oh is that a dealbreaker for you? Guess we never would have worked anyway"

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't see her here posting a comment...

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[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Honestly be way better to take a picture of the vehicle plate, then she doesn't even have to make you aware of it, and the plate is in a database, unlike your face. On top of that, she can use a police procedure that exists for making vehicle stops: touch the side of your car with a bare hand, leaving prints on the finish for forensics.

Or, IDK, maybe she did all of the above

Edit: Now that I think about it, making you aware of it might actually be part of the plan. If you were going to murder her, you might just cut the date off early instead, saving her some time and a murder

[–] pastel_de_airfryer@lemmy.eco.br 76 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I once went on a date with a girl and when I got to the bar there were four of her friends at the table! They left once they made sure I wasn't a murderer.

[–] kraftpudding@lemmy.world 75 points 11 months ago (5 children)

How did they make sure you were not a murderer though? You didn't murder her instantly in the restaurant in front of them and tjat was good enough for them.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 47 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One of her friends used the immortal eye on him and saw that he had zero sin.

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[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago

It's those new Kiroshi optics with access to the NCPD database, if they run in to a ne'er do well, they know what they ne'er done well.

[–] lemmyvore@feddit.nl 15 points 11 months ago

He had to pass an interview obviously.

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[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 68 points 11 months ago (7 children)

My friend and I just share our phone locations with eachother whenever one of us has a date with someone new. It makes everything dead simple. I can check at any time and see that they are not in a dumpster behind the Aldi.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 40 points 11 months ago

Well, the phone isn't

[–] isles@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago

That's very comforting until it's not.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What if that's where they go to get freaky though?

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[–] Syldon@feddit.uk 49 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I have seen a couple of girls looking stuck and helped them out. I made sure they took a picture of the reg and passed it on. To me it makes sense, increasing the chances of someone being found out makes them less likely to be a danger.

My pet hate is realising I am walking behind some girl who has started looking nervous. There is very little you can do to alleviate it. If you slow down it looks suspicious, and they don't want you near them so it is hard to walk past to get in front. It is a price most men face because of other people misgivings.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I always pass them and greet them politely, it's an immediate tension relief

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[–] EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I work in retail and I find myself constantly ending up going in the same direction of a customer

After like less then a minute of seemingly following a person I just straight up stop for a bit or turn around

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

i mean if you really want to ameliorate that - Stop and tie your shoelace, or adjust your sock like it's slipped into your shoe or something.

Then look around to get your bearings and pause for a minute. Check your phone or something.

This is assuming you are also keeping yourself safe and such activities won't inspire a mugging of your own personage.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

Ah, the good old "stop, act as if there was a good reason for that, and casually look around to see if there are any witnesses" of the rapist/thief preparing to pounce.

Or at least, that's how it might very well be read by somebody already afraid and getting a bit paranoid because some guy has been walking behind her for the last couple of blocks.

The best way to not act suspicious is to not act at all - unless you're a great actor, doing a mini-performance instead of just keep on doing your thing normally will often feel off to most people, especially if they're a bit paranoid and thus extra alert for anything unusual.

Ideally, IMHO, just ignore that person altogether, as any reaction, even just accelerating your step to pass that person because you're trying to be nice and not seem to be following her, might be noticed (from the sound of the footsteps) and increase a person's paranoia.

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[–] teft@startrek.website 49 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So you just gotta put a different name and picture on your bumble profile and then you can get away with murder scott free right?

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 41 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If you pass along the profile screenshot, the police could reach out to Bumble for the details. Dating apps have an incentive to boot bad users off their platform, and a murder-y one would be bad for business

[–] ButtCheekOnAStick@lemmy.world 35 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Damn, you mean if I murder a girl, I might get kicked off off bumble? It's just not worth it.

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[–] FMT99@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (4 children)

It's because it's fatalistic 'humor'. If they actually believed there was a good chance of being murdered they wouldn't go out.

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 50 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

It's partly fatalistic humor, partly practical. There is risk in the situation to everyone involved, but it's way higher for women. You inform people of the circumstances of the date to increase your safety.

Letting someone else know your whereabouts is good defensive thinking. Wrapping the real need to do it in humor is a way to remove some of the sting from the truth of why youre doing it.

[–] isles@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Interestingly, it's only defensive thinking if you also let your date know that someone else knows your exact location.

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 17 points 11 months ago

Its still defensive because if you go missing, there is a known suspect, time and location.

Wont help if he chokes you to death in a nearby car, but if you're kidnapped, it gives police or competent parties a chance to find you.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not true. It's a risk analysis. The risk may be high, but some women still think the potential benefit is worth it.

It's why so many people still play the lottery.

[–] WhiteHawk@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

But the risk isn't high. Sure, it happens, but for any arbitrary person the chance to be murdered on a date is pretty much 0.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The risk is high in consequences, not frequency.

Besides, murder isn't the only risk, you know.

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[–] red@sopuli.xyz 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Date at a random strangers house? No way, unsafe! Going over to random strangers house to pick up a cheap Louis Vutton? Aww yeah!

I'm just saying, the predators probably mostly use easier ways to lure a victim than going through the trouble to find a date.

[–] FraidyBear@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (7 children)

I personally don't know any women who have ever gone to someone's house to purchase something. You meet in a well lit public place during the day, just like any sane person. Women do face threats to their health and safety when going out with strange men. It seems you're under the impression that murder is what we are trying to avoid when it's much much more common that women are raped and/or drugged on dates. Although avoiding murder is also a top priority but that's a given for literally everyone on the planet.

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