It appears to be the majority of Doctors most Americans can afford...
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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This is not what I thought they meant when they said universal healthcare.
Child: Mom can we have universal healthcare? Mom: We have universal healthcare at home. The healthcare we have at home:
It’s easy, pick any doctor in your network.
Excuse me, my esteemed aerial cephalopod, but I don't see a doctor in front of your name. Those sodas didn't end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt getting their doctorates to be dissed by you.
I'm far too modest to mention my 6 years at Harvard Medical School followed by a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins and, of course, my 134 published papers in medical journals.
a 4 year residency at Johns Hopkins
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins... It was me, Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering... And they were blazin' that shit up everyday!
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It's really too bad Kroger discontinued "The Fizzicist".
That's a frustratingly good name too.
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The bar for soda medical school is just so damn low.
I didn’t go to college for eight years just to be called Mister Pepper
Me trying to explain the backstory of Britain's longest-running sci-fi series
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Mr. PiBB dropped out of college
You missed Professor Peppy.
I know there's probably more, but i feel like this one is important.
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Moist Jesus
Fucked up in the crib sippin dr perky
Can you imagine if you went to the E.R. and were told your attending physician was Dr. Perky?
Friend of mine: 'Haven't been "Dr Perky" since my first kid.'
No thanks. I'll stick with my Bepis.
All this and yet Mr. Pibb is a step too far.
I respect any soda that puts in the time and effort to earn a doctorate degree. You know who I don't respect? Mr. Pibb, who can can take his undergrad ass and fuck right off.
Excuse me, but Pibb now identifies as Xtra, not Mr. I think we should respect their gender identity.
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Mom: Have you seen a Real Doctor yet?
Me: ......yes......
Dr Perfect
Ok buddy, chill out.
I'm not looking for Dr. Perfect, just Dr. Right.
Best I can do is Dr Fine.
In the name of the Coke, the Pepper, and the Holy Sprite.
Leave Dr Shasta alone. That shit (and its variants) slaps.
Cream Soda Shasta in a half-can is a time machine that sends me to my grandparents house when I was 7.
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Not pictured: Dr. Smooth
(although it's been a long time - maybe they don't make this anymore?)
Ha, Dr perky. Nice.
Is Dr. Perky a plastic surgeon?
Meanwhile in the Netherlands: 
"Dr. Fine Soda"
He's not Dr. Perfect and he's not Dr. Right, but he sure is Dr. Fine.
I like Dr. Spice, no fucking around with them.
My favorite dumb Dr. name was "Dr. Furr's" from Furr's supermarkets in the 80s
There is some erotic Dr. Furr fan fiction that will not surprise you.
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My favorite knockoff was one called "Spritz Up"
As a former soda enthusiast I will always die on this hill. Dr. Pepper is Dr. Pepper. No, your Mr. Pibs and Dr. Thunders are not "basically the same thing," just give me a damn root beer instead!
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Cool, now I'm on a quest to sample them all
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