this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 91 points 11 months ago (3 children)

My favorite was Cardi B being short for Cardigan Backyardigan

[–] redeco@kbin.social 61 points 11 months ago (1 children)

T Pain being short for Tylenol Painrelief got me pretty good

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That one sounds like a Harry Potter spell

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[–] YoFrodo@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Huh, i always thought it was short for Cardiovascular Bronchitis

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of that copypasta about Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 51 points 11 months ago (9 children)

My favourite gotta be Jimothy

[–] PochoHipster@lemmy.ml 11 points 11 months ago
[–] numlok@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

We've named the two squirrels in our backyard Jimothy and Jeromathy.

I like Tederick, and Billomena

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 7 points 11 months ago

I know a pair of brothers named James and Timothy and Jimothy is of course their collective name. Always has been. How could it not be?Also Jimmy and Timmy.

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Jimothy Jonathan and his freaky fast delivery

[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

I call a manager at work "Jimothy." He does not find it amusing.

[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I prefer Bimothy. Bim for short.

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[–] redeco@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Jimothy, Jimberly, and Dillup are some of my go-to's

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 4 points 11 months ago

Also Jonald or Dougery.

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[–] Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 50 points 11 months ago

That is called a "nichard name".

Source:

[–] FirstPitchStrike@kbin.social 43 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My sister calls my dog Bessie and I'm like, bitch she ain't a cow. If you need more name than Bess her full name is Bessica.

[–] wrath_of_grunge@kbin.social 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

really missed an opportunity for Bessaphine.

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Unaware7013@kbin.social 42 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Billiam has been my favorite for years. My buddy will was always annoyed

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Bobert, eventually known as Boberto, really didn't really appreciate that the names stuck

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I know a Billy Bob (he does not appreciate using those names instead of William Robert) but I need to take it to the next level now.

Billiiam Boberto

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[–] cam_i_am@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I had an aunt and uncle named Hillary and William.

Usually known as Hil and Bill.

Occasionally known as Hillary and Billary 😄

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[–] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 months ago

Elongated Muskrat

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 25 points 11 months ago

Bike is short for bichael

[–] SqueezeMeMacaroni@thelemmy.club 24 points 11 months ago

Jimothy and Benneth and Kenjamin

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 11 months ago

Tedward is one of my favorites

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago
[–] instamat@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I refer to our IT director Jeb as Jeborah

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago
[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a cat named Paul which I sometimes call Paulexander.

[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Not Pawlexander? Weak.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

My all time favourite is "Bike is short for Bichael."

[–] Grabthar@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Hey, Bud! Or is it Budley? Budward? What's Bud short for?

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

A friend once took a sharpie to a buddy's name tag at work, changing Craig to Graig. At first he couldn't figure out why the customers kept calling him Greg, then some lady said something like "I've never seen such a unique spelling of the name Graig before. He looked down n saw his name tag. Hilarity ensued. 10/10 would recommend to anyone who works with a Craig at a job that people wear name tags for.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

A girl I went to high school with had a teddy bear named Tedward.

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

It’s very appreciated. I’d say too appreciated.

[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

My mom has a dog named Teddy and me and my wife call him Tedward or Teddison all the time.

[–] sagrotan@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Our Andy went from Andronimo to just Mo, he has to explain it at least 3 times a day lol

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Help me out, what's a good one for Jessica? I wanna annoy my sister :)

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I have used Jessandra/Jessessandra, Jessinald, Jesstancia, Jessentina, Jessanca, Jesstoria, Jessody, Jesselia, Jessolet, Jessilda, Jessephine, Jessevieve, Jessentine, Jesselaide, Jessalie, Jesselope, Jessatrice, Jesselia, and many more. Just because she introduced herself saying her name was easier to remember than the other two that had just introduced themselves. Admittedly I can't remember their names.

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[–] wieson@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago
[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I'm afraid you're shit out of luck. Jessica is already an elongated name. If it were something like Jess, you could use Jessilda.

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[–] Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 11 months ago (4 children)
[–] throwaway2567@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

Barry lengthened into Harold?

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[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@feddit.de 4 points 11 months ago

I love his videos, once watched like half of them in a day

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

That's esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margoritaville Robbiertson to you!

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