Who tf thinks they aren't a burden, how is this an unpopular opinion?
this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Unpopular Opinion
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Trust me, there are people who think it's a sin to use the word "burden" when speaking of kids. They are insane IMO
Sounds like they have the unpopular opinion
I actually did expect this much "positivity" to my post lol. I guess I've spent too much time in a Precious Moments figurine store.
There's so much stigma around this sort of thing. It's getting better, but the mindset that children are a gift and parents should be constantly grateful for that gift is still very prevalent.
The reality is that whilst children are absolutely incredible, life affirming and all that good stuff...an awful lot of being a parent is frankly, horrible.
People who believes in sin are insane. Pay them no mind
Lol true
In the history of the world, probably only baby boomers and maybe some of X thought this. Any time else in history, kids are there only due to the desire to fuck. Hell, the Romans drove a plant extinct with their need for birth control.
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Today on wildly popular opinion
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/happiness-spigot
Best summary to this topic I've ever seen.
I kinda wish it would expand on the fact that for some people, the constant care and all that is not for them, and doesn't make it "a good deal" Other than that it's a great summary, coming from someone that doesn't want any.
Anyone who does NOT think kids are a burden either doesn't have kids or doesn't give a sh*t about raising them right. If you are an actually responsible adult and parent, and you intend to give your kids all the attention, care and love they demand and deserve, then it WILL be taxing. It WILL eat up your time and energy for years to come. You WILL have sleepless nights, and unexpected challenges. You WILL be exhausted, frustrated and defeated at times.
The difference is that good parents feel like that tradeoff is worth it. That your beloved family / children matter most, even tho they are a burden. This isn't an "either/or" situation where struggling automatically means that you can't be happy about the struggle. Children can be the light of your life AND the most annoying thing in the universe at the same time, and a good parent will still love them whatever happens.
slow clap and wipes a tear
Literally standing in my kitchen right now reading this at 645am, awake since 4 because my sick 2 year old has been crying and screaming non stop, my wife in bed upstairs with our 2 day old new born, and I'm covered in peanut butter trying to make a nutritious lunch for my 5 year old for school. I have to wake her up soon to get her started. Make eggs for breakfast.
Her booster seat isn't fitting in the middle seat between my sons car seat and infant newborn car seat. So I have to fix that before we leave. My son is most likely drawing on the walls in the entertainment room.
And before 9 I need to feed the chickens and relieve my wife from her sleepless night with a newborn.
Burden is an understatement. Having a sore back is a burden. Having kids is a dynamic lifestyle change. And while sometimes I imagine not having kids and how amazing it would be to be free from that lifestyle, it always comes to the same conclusion: I wouldn't exchange my family life for anything. My children are me and I wouldn't remove them as much as I wouldn't remove my back because it was sore.
First of all, keep up the good work, it sounds like you're an awesome dad and husband my man. I never wanted kids but I now have 6, some of them put me through some shit but I wouldn't trade any of it for a child-free life.
How do you end up with 6 kids if you never wanted any?
A crazy amount of things, dem ass and titties, a partner you think you'd be together with forever, a partner that didn't believe in abortions, having one kid and thinking it wasn't so bad, lying to myself that it'd be no more than 2, did I mention dem ass and titties? Those can be so persuasive when the little guy is doing the thinking.
Dem ass and titties are not how she gets pregnant... I would blame education. (/s I know the feeling)
Someday I'll know where babies come from.
Hah! Nice and easy to understand answer. Welp, you'll have amazing family holidays when your kids have kids, and you'll have no shortage of people who can help you when you get old. I only had one kid and sometimes I regret it. I always imagined I'd have a lot of little kids to mentor when I hit middle age, but there are none. It's odd. I mean I enjoy the freedom, but there's definitely a different type of cost.
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Children ARE a burden but entitled parents are a bigger burden.
Entitled parent: "I raised you, you owe me!!!"
Child: "you made a decision to bring me in to the world, I had no say in this at all"
I live them to death
Is that a typo or the unpopular part?
Lol thanks
If I don't put gas in my car it won't move. Fueling my car is a burden, but generally I think it is worth it.
Yes, don't forget to fuel your kids.
Praising cars on lemmy? It's a bold move, Cotton.
I would argue that fuel and kids are not a burden as it is a net positive. Burden would imply for no gain.
Idk how unpopular this is. Everyone I've ever talked to said that children are a burden. Of course they are. It's hard work to grow plant, lol, and these are whole people. The acronym DINK exists for a reason. That said, it's a worthwhile burden. I love being a parent.
Who have you met that said raising kids isn't a burden?
They exists, they are the people who wants kids and can't have them, the people who think kids can do no wrong, and then there's my ex-wife who actually is burden by our kids when she has them but doesn't want to say they are a burden because it would make her look bad lol
Yup.
I've got two (5,1). I absolutely adore them both, but I'd be lying if I said that having kids hasn't made my life significantly harder, my mental health significantly worse and my sense of self significantly weaker.
One thing I can say is enjoy it while it lasts LOL!
When they get older you miss those days when they were small and easy to understand. Those teenage years, hell.
I guess at the very least I get to enjoy their excited faces when I get home from work. Can't imagine you get much of that when they pass you on the way to their bedroom later on?
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I went to a Nerd Night where a positive psychologist shared about PERMA, a break down of the pillars of being happy: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.
Her take on kids (based on her research) was that P,E,R, and A definitely take a hit, but parents consistently had the highest happines when it came to Meaning in their life. Overall advice on the question of "Do kids make you more happy than no kids?" was "It really depends on the person."
Sounds like an interesting Nerd Night.
Solution: don't have kids
Solution two: use protection
I'm convinced that having kids causes a brain chemistry change that makes parents willing to deal with their children. Otherwise, the majority of people would never have kids or abandon them shortly after birth.
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What app are you using for Lemmy? Your post url references itself which is really weird.
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In comparison to what? Not having children?
I dunno. Yeah they cost money and take time, but it's what I want to do with my money and my time.
If I didn't have children I'd be burdened with stuff like eating out everyday and travelling the world. Those are also really cumbersome things to do. Cost money and take time.
I guess it is called living. I think it's alright.
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