Then one day you realize that, they have no idea what they are doing. You think that might be a comforting thought but it ends up keeping you up at night.
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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I had been waiting from pre-teen, through teenage years, and past my young adult years. Wonder, waiting, hoping I would someday feel like I had "grown up" and was an "adult" now.
That's the trick: it never happens. There's little difference between a "kid" and an "adult" besides obvious physical maturation. You just get new things to juggle and new worries. Bills and job instead of homework. Kids and coworkers and friends (if you're lucky) instead of HS drama. I still don't feel that much different at the core than I did at ~18 and that was 19 years ago.
Funny story, instead of referring to groups of adults as " hey guys," I like to refer to them as "hey kids." You know how many grown adults I've had object to this? Zero. Not one. Ever.
We all know it's true
My mum still refers to me and my girlfriend as "the kids".
We're 29.
My wife has younger brothers, she still refers to them as "the boys" even though they're close to 40...
Omg that's cute
Yep, that's how it is with all parents, they will keep doing it forever, which is nice I think :-)
For me it was when my dad was sick dying and after he died.
I've always thought the distinction between adult and child was just being able to take care of yourself and others vs. needing to be taken care of.
Obviously there's complexities and nuances there but it's the best rule of thumb I've found.
I've always said kids want to stay up but have to go to bed; Adults want to go to bed but have to stay up.
Which really is saying the same thing you are
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I know exactly what I am doing. And I know I am doing it wrong.
I don't know if that is better or worse
Im old adjacent to old and this never changes. The people who are certain about everything are the ones to be careful of
Because theyre either lying about, or blissfully unaware of their own shortcoming.
Or they work in sales.
The "con" in Con Artist is short for confidence. I think a lot of con artists become their mask over time as a coping mechanism.
Imposter syndrome is a real thing
Nah, I'm not even good enough for an imposter syndrome
Lmao yeah. You know when you don't exactly know the answer so you stall until the person you're talking to finishes your sentence for you? Like that, but at a large scale at work.
Yeah, the other people who are pretending better than you are the real imposters.
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that's called impostor syndrome if i recall correctly (which i probably don't..!)
Or just the reality that no one knows what they are doing, but only some people will admit it.
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As I've grown up and learned more about the world, I've learned that it's not so much that no one knows what they're doing, but more that most people don't have clarity about why we do what we do. We're disconnected from our work and we don't receive it's benefits personally. Instead we exchange it for currency, so we don't know if we've "hit the mark" or not. Is my work accomplishing it's intended purpose? Who the hell knows. I just try to do this thing and keep my boss/teacher happy. We live in a hyper real world where the appearance of accomplishment is a standin for the real thing, so it's like we're throwing darts blindfolded at a target. And don't get me wrong, we might be doing everything correctly and benefiting the world, but at the end of the day what we see is not it's benefits, but it's supposed equivalent currency. We're all going through the motions and just hoping it's "right", and that can feel indistinguishable from "I don't know what I'm doing"
You may already know this, but if you don't:
You perfectly described Marxist alienation and commodity fetishism.
Alienation:
Karl Marx's theory of alienation describes the experience of human life as meaningless or the human self as worthless in modern capitalist society. It is Marx’s earliest recognizable attempt at a systematic explanatory theory of capitalism.
The theoretical basis of alienation is that a worker invariably loses the ability to determine life and destiny when deprived of the right to think (conceive) of themselves as the director of their own actions; to determine the character of said actions; to define relationships with other people; and to own those items of value from goods and services, produced by their own labour.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marx%27s_theory_of_alienation?wprov=sfla1
Commodity fetishism:
The theory of commodity fetishism (German: Warenfetischismus) originated from Karl Marx's references to fetishes and fetishism in his analyses of religious superstition, and in the criticism of the beliefs of political economists. Marx borrowed the concept of "fetishism" from The Cult of Fetish Gods (1760) by Charles de Brosses, which proposed a materialist theory of the origin of religion. Moreover, in the 1840s, the philosophic discussion of fetishism by Auguste Comte, and Ludwig Feuerbach's psychological interpretation of religion also influenced Marx's development of commodity fetishism.
Marx's first mention of fetishism appeared in 1842, in his response to a newspaper article by Karl Heinrich Hermes, which defended Germany on religious grounds. Hermes agreed with the German philosopher Hegel in regarding fetishism as the crudest form of religion. Marx dismissed that argument and Hermes's definition of religion as that which elevates man "above sensuous appetites". Instead, Marx said that fetishism is "the religion of sensuous appetites", and that the fantasy of the appetites tricks the fetish worshipper into believing that an inanimate object will yield its natural character to gratify the desires of the worshipper. Therefore, the crude appetite of the fetish worshipper smashes the fetish when it ceases to be of service.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodity_fetishism?wprov=sfla1
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I met my old boss after he retired. He still had no idea what was going on.
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I know exactly what I'm doing. But idk how to get to doing what I want to do. :(
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I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't even know why I'm alive.
There are so many things I want to do. But I can't because I need to 'survive'.
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This was me failing out of my first programming job. College was crappy (forced to go to christian college) and I got effectively a 'script kiddy's degree instead of a real software engineering degree. Tried to fake it till I make it with my first real job, got fired ended up in a significantly less technical IT job instead.
Oof, that's rough. Nobody knows how to program without doing it though. Even senior people forget systems they haven't worked with in a while. You could always do some side projects, or freelancing, and then return to coding when you're up to speed. Finding another job should be trivial with a CS degree and a portfolio of projects.
Image Transcription:
A four-panel comic by Chibird titled "my life so far".
The first panel shows a character with shoulder-length brown hair and a pink shirt sitting in front of a piece of paper labelled "TEST". Above the character is the text "I have no idea what I'm doing."
The second panel shows the same character wearing a yellow shirt and white shorts, holding a cup and surrounded by four other characters, one with short red-brown hair wearing a blue shirt and shorts also holding a cup, and another with dark red-brown hair and a pink shirt are in the foreground and appear to be talking, while two less-detailed characters in blue and pink are in the background. Above the yellow-shirted character is the text "I have no idea what I'm doing."
The third panel shows the character from the first two panels wearing a graduation gown and cap and holding a diploma. Above the character is the text "I have no idea what I'm doing."
The fourth panel shows the character in a blue shirt, sweating profusely as they sit at a laptop labelled "A REAL JOB". Above the character is the text "I have no idea what I'm doing."
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
Took me a while to figure out that nobody really knows what they're doing
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Yes.
Fake it till you make it.
I really hate that saying. For me it implies that lying will get you anywhere. I guess that's why a lot of people end up somewhere they don't 'belong' doing things they're not really able to do. What's the point of that?
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Noone does and people telling you they do lie as they speak.
Love it, this is one of the best meme comics I've seen in quite some time.
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