this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
70 points (79.2% liked)

Unpopular Opinion

6288 readers
309 users here now

Welcome to the Unpopular Opinion community!


How voting works:

Vote the opposite of the norm.


If you agree that the opinion is unpopular give it an arrow up. If it's something that's widely accepted, give it an arrow down.



Guidelines:

Tag your post, if possible (not required)


  • If your post is a "General" unpopular opinion, start the subject with [GENERAL].
  • If it is a Lemmy-specific unpopular opinion, start it with [LEMMY].


Rules:

1. NO POLITICS


Politics is everywhere. Let's make this about [general] and [lemmy] - specific topics, and keep politics out of it.


2. Be civil.


Disagreements happen, but that doesn’t provide the right to personally attack others. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Please also refrain from gatekeeping others' opinions.


3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.


Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.


4. Shitposts and memes are allowed but...


Only until they prove to be a problem. They can and will be removed at moderator discretion.


5. No trolling.


This shouldn't need an explanation. If your post or comment is made just to get a rise with no real value, it will be removed. You do this too often, you will get a vacation to touch grass, away from this community for 1 or more days. Repeat offenses will result in a perma-ban.



Instance-wide rules always apply. https://legal.lemmy.world/tos/

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

It feels like being an optimist in this world must be absolutely soul crushing.

all 33 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Cortell@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s fine as long as it doesn’t become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you think an endeavour will fail anyway you won’t try as hard because why bother

[–] alvvayson@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the real problem with pessimism. It usually does become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to worse outcomes for pessimists.

But yes, also less disappointment. So if you can't handle disappointment, then pessimism is the locally optimal strategy.

But the better strategy is to learn how to emotionally handle disappointment. Then you can become a realist or even an optimist and just take the disappointments along the way.

[–] catreadingabook@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Arguably both 'extremes' can become an excuse for inaction, pessimists may think "why even try if it probably won't help" while optimists may think "it'll resolve itself / look at the bright side." Similarly, both can be strategies for coping with disappointment. And can become a tiny bit delusional.

But at least optimists live in blissful ignorance lol. I think people underestimate an optimist's ability to see problems as just solutions waiting to happen.

[–] mister_monster@monero.town 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Time almost always proves you correct

This is a very pessimistic outlook, well done on being internally consistent.

[–] kitonthenet@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You would rather be smug than happy?

[–] sock@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

in my case i don't know how to act happy like other people do I've always been pretty sad and that made me pessimistic/smug. i don't know how people get excited or happy about stuff usually.

[–] MetalJewSolid@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

You sound like you could use therapy more

[–] USSMojave@startrek.website 15 points 1 year ago

Pessimism is boring, and it does not inspire action. It smothers it. Optimism gives you a reason to try

[–] Duchess@yiffit.net 13 points 1 year ago

Honey I think this is called depression

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I very much believe in this philosophy

And, also, very much believe this makes us assholes. Welcome to the family

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours.

And yeah, that makes you an asshole to the universe, agreed fam.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If your pleasantly surprised are you really a pessimist?

[–] xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

If you're pleasantly surprised, you have to be a pessimist. An optimist will expect things to be positive, so the positivity can't be surprising.

[–] novibe@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The real trick is not having expectations at all!

If things go bad? So what, shit happens.

If they go well? Cool, lucky.

Just enjoy the moments, and give thought to issues only as they arise.

[–] MONKEYHOG@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My life has given me the exact opposite experience. Time almost always proves me correct to be optimistic, it just sometimes takes a longer time. So you have to be both optimistic and patient. The pessimist may be right in the short term, but optimism is.correct.given enough time.

This has been my experience as well.

I consider myself a pragmatic optimist. I assume the best intentions in those around me, give forgiveness for human error and tendencies, and when someone gives me cause to do so I pragmatically adjust my expectations of them and their actions.

I also assume that, as long as I am trying to do the next right thing in each situation I find myself in, most of those situations will resolve in a positive outcome. Even if others involved are not committed to the same path.

I found much more success and happiness with this philosophy or approach to life.

[–] HerrLewakaas@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

Same here. I go about life with a positive outlook and because of that, see negative things as minor hickups among all the positive things that reinforce my optimism

[–] Nonameuser678@aussie.zone 3 points 1 year ago

I think giving into either of them too much has drawbacks. The criticisms I have of optimism are just as relevant to pessimism. Plus our perception of things can be influenced by pre-existing cognitive biases.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Pessimism, realism. They are the same word for some of us.

[–] RetroEvolute@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty selfish outlook, wouldn't you say?

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] RetroEvolute@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because it's all for you. You're protecting yourself from disappointment.

Time almost always proves you correct, and very occasionally, you're pleasantly surprised!

But what about everyone else around you that you care about? Being pessimistic tends to wear on them and simply for personal gain.

I'd rather be wrong than unpleasant.

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd rather be correct than happy is literally my core philosophy.

I have great disdain for the concept of ignorance is bliss.

[–] RetroEvolute@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I'm not advocating for ignorance. We should still be as informed as we can be. Optimism and pessimism show up when there are unknowns.

It's ultimately best to be correct and happy, which is achievable, just not if you're pessimistic.

Yeah. It might save you alright. But it should be in moderation, or sometimes kept to oneself. Too much pessimism can drive away friends.

That is, unless all your friends are also ultra pessimists, then you'll just have to one up each other in a pessimist pissing contest.

[–] wilberfan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I get grief about being a pessimist (primarily from, yes, optimists), but both pessimism and optimism are strategies for coping with life's uncertainties. One works better for some, the other works better for others.

[–] HerrLewakaas@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

I hate upvoting this because I vehemently disagree. Well done sir

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I think there is a difference between not having expectations and borrowing trouble. If you literally look for everything to go wrong, it will, and focusing on the negative makes you find it everywhere and not see the positive.

My view is that I am exceptionally lucky to be alive and physically embodied. On top of that I am not even in constant pain. Can see and hear and feel, can taste and read and dance. I feel true gratitude for being able to experience anything at all, to have a body and a mind. I'm not sure it's optimistic at all, but I am happy.

[–] Pratai@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

Pessimist and realist are pretty much the same thing nowadays.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

As nofx told me...

Don't expect the best, you won't disappointed when you take a bite and watch the worm crawl back inside.

[–] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

Upvoted as I think that this is genuinely unpopular.

...pessimism, optimism, I don't really think that it matters. It's just fee fees.

Instead what matters is the situation and your actions - analyse the situation; predict the best, worst, and most likely outcomes; establish a course of action; act on it.