this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

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[–] clearedtoland@lemmy.world 231 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’m discovering levels of brown nosing I’d never have thought to exist.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

~brown noser~ Attention whore.

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Well he said he was “proudly” being arrested so his followers will jump right off that bridge after him. It’s a remarkable thing to watch.

[–] SatyrSack@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago

Whore noser

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 1 year ago

Their nose will be so brown they will start hating it for... reasons

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 156 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is this MAGA-world’s version of the crucifixion now? “Our lord and savior Trump was booked, photographed, and released on bond for our sins.”

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago

"No, I'VE been arrested!"

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

I’m cracking up

[–] keeb420@kbin.social 116 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“I’m not…for the time being, but I stand with them! They are coming for all of us, eventually."

Rofl yeah when you are part of a conspiracy to commit a coup you deserve to be rounded up and jailed til trial.

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

They're coming for all of us! No shit, you committed crimes, people tend to get got for those

[–] remotedev@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 year ago

Trump will surely pay her bail for being so loyal

[–] CarlsIII@kbin.social 103 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I already knew it was a cult, but wow, it really is a cult

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

When do they get to the part where the men in the cult are snipping off their own nuts and buying black Nikes? My fear is that this cult won't direct their weird tendencies at themselves, but instead, others.

[–] Syrc@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago (3 children)

“Lmao, the Onion really is on a roll these days!

…oh for fuck’s sake”

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Honestly I feel bad for the onion, our society took their jobs from them. We went full r-tard. You never go full r-tard.

(It's a movie quote, please don't crucify me lol)

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

We went full Linus. Never go full Linus

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[–] demlet@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would feel so owned if other conspirators did this too.

[–] MinusPi@pawb.social 26 points 1 year ago

Yeah! Maybe they could pair it with their hypothetical crimes for added immersion too!

[–] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do we get Trump to literally smear himself in feces just so his followers will do it too? (Although I wager many of them are way ahead of him there already.)

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I thought that's how he gets that orange color.

[–] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 52 points 1 year ago

What a fucking dork.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Except they all "believe" in Jesus

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[–] QubaXR@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

Aww shit, is this now going to be a thing?

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Its like when your kid picks up a banana and starts dialing.

[–] nyoooom@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Even the kid does it sarcastically

Book a doop a doop!

[–] Naja_Kaouthia@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Yeah this seems like a sane and reasonable reaction. 0.o

[–] TwoGems@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

She's cringe

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Simp-cuck bootlicker. Pathetic.

Edit: holy shit, she’s made of play-dough.

[–] DracolaAdil@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago

Jan. 6 Rally Organizer Created Her Own Mugshot Because She Felt Left Out

....wait....what?! 😦

[–] MonsieurHedge@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was gonna say "wow, we're reaching new levels of pathetic", but this is actually a pretty common low to sink to, when you think about it. Still funny, though, which I think really speaks to the immortality of watching someone debase themselves for grade-A Loser Clout.

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn’t using that logo a crime? Like… pretending to be a cop, or interfering in an investigation or something?

[–] Jordan117@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine being arrested for making a fake mugshot for clout.

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Do you think she’ll be crying in the real one?

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Is there anyone in law enforcement that can make this deplorable feel included?

[–] Rottcodd@kbin.social 15 points 1 year ago

She looks like she just stopped growing up at about 14, and all she's done since then is age. Poorly.

[–] Ironfist@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

they will end up drinking the koolaid, dont they?

[–] Arcynic@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

The sooner they get on with that so the rest of us can make progress with literally anything that benefits the general public and marginalized communities, the better

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Let them roll and cry in their puddle of being repressed by the system a little more, it's all they have.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

It's orange juice silly.

[–] Mewtwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Peak self victimization.

[–] fidodo@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

If she turns herself in I'm sure she has evidence of some crimes she committed

[–] Alto@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

She definitely defends Paula Deen with "it was a different time"

[–] mupomo@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

One of us! One of us!

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