this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.

My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.

I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.

I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.

We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.

My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say "Sure."

My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.

My brother isn't the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can't be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.

My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.

I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally. I also don't know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn't have much trouble crossing state lines.

I don't know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.

Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won't miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.

The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.

I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.

Any advice would be helpful. I don't want to wait, but I also can't do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, so any input is appreciated.

Thank you.

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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

do you have a driver's license?

you can get a running camper or even a large van in a pinch for less than a few thousand.

it's not the most comfortable thing in the world for everybody, but if you get an RV, you have a tiny independent apartment on wheels free and clear.

you have no more rent after the initial purchase, and obviously it's private so you have as much time as you need to to figure out what you're going to do next.

That's the quickest way to get your own private space and I can walk you through it(browse, visit, buy, register) and look at vehicle listings near you.

I can walk you through exactly how hygiene and all the everydays work in the vehicle you get, likely expenses and all of that per month, it's all doable and not a huge adjustment from living in a regular apartment.

birth certificate in almost every state can be replaced in 1-2 weeks for about 40 bucks or expressed in a couple days for 80 bucks, and with your birth certificate and a couple other documents like tax forms or some other identifier, you'll be able to get your SSN card replaced as well.

If you have any other specific practical questions, please send them over here. I've replaced many documents before, I've lived in an RV, I've been traveling for a decade, and I'm thriving on the other side.

I have life experience I'm happy to share and you can take from it what you find useful.

[–] sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't have a driver's license, I just have a state ID card. So I'll probably need someone else to help me with any vehicle stuff. Thanks for the reply.

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[–] card797@champserver.net 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Call the police if your life and others are threaten. Seriously.

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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Idk about the US but here in europe you can call social services and if you are serious they will send someone out to get you and at least temporarily you can stay at the relatives who dont want to harm you.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Not 100% sure, but I think it depends on the area. A lot have gutted services like this to the point that they either barely exist or do not at all. If this is the case then the only people that will respond are the cops, which I'm sure they don't want to take that chance.

[–] pugsnroses77@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

i wouldnt hesitate to reach out to family down south as they may be most able to legally help you. i would not call the cops, they are useless. hunt for shelter and other hotlines, ideally chats if the walls are thin!

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[–] Sweetpeaches69@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

I think the best advice has been given by others.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to DM me if you need to vent, or if I can do anything to help.

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Leave now. Fuck your stuff.

  1. get a cab

  2. get a Greyhound to an area with a better outlook.

  3. look for roommates in your destination city on the ride

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[–] dharmacurious 16 points 3 weeks ago

Absolutely agree with you, but one thing to note is the existence of what's called representative payees. OP would have likely had to sign a form for it at 21, unless they were verifiably incapacitated at the time, but a rep payee is, for an intents and purposes, the beneficiary as far as the social security department is concerned.

Which is NOT to say don't leave. It just means that OP needs to contact social security the instant they are clear of danger or being overheard.

The moment you're safe, contact the SSD and ask them to verify your status as the primary on your account. If your mother (or someone else) is not the rep payee, then you're clear. If they are, you need to ask for the paperwork to transfer your benefits back to yourself, which may involve having to go through a judge. That said, keep a record of any communications between yourself and whoever the rep payee is. Ohio is a one party consent state, meaning you are legally allowed to record your phone calls as long as one party is aware and consents, namely yourself. Text based communication is easier, though.

If you are able to contact anyone (guessing you can since you're posting this) I would suggest contacting progressive organizations in your area. Women's shelters, even if you're male, may be able to help you, or direct you to someone who can help. Gay organizations often have some resources in place for teens who have disowned. The DSA, the episcopal church, the metropolitan community Church, the United Church of Christ, any Sikh, Buddhist, and often Hindu community centers are also notorious for being home to progressive members. Sadly, they likely don't have anything in place for such a rescue mission already, but they may well be a member willing to assist.

Best option is if there's an anarchist mutual aid org near you, but that's unlikely.

I wish you all the luck and success in there.

This also ended up longer than I anticipated going in, so posting it as a full comment in and of itself, too.

[–] TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Even if there is no attempt to kill you, the physical abuse and attempts to force you into vulnerable and risky situations will, and you are already vulnerable. Maybe you can contact some form of social service or disability services and report the circumstances. Some guides suggest contacting the police, but it wouldn't be my first option - maybe try to contact probono lawyers who could help you like this https://www.ohiojusticefoundation.org/tom-and-gerry-cincinnati-attorneys-contribute-hundreds-of-hours-of-pro-bono-service/ in case things get serious. Leave a trail that indicates that the threat has been made. You can also try to get in contact with organizations like Ohio Democrats, but do so quietly. I'd try to lay low if I were you until you can move out, maybe even just throw them a bone by trying to virtue signal their cult thinking until you can get away safely. Definitely clear or hide your browsing and account history so they can't trace it back to posts like this, and maybe just leave a less threatening persona account that if they do find they would have less of an issue with.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

With conditions that severe, do you have access to a medical transport service or an understanding friend? One way or another, have them get you to a bus depot, buy a ticket to the nearest sane state and tap their social services to help you get established with basic care - Ohio is likely beyond broken intentionally, and it might not feel like it, but you will find social systems that function (not perfectly, but function for those truly in need) in other states.

If you're in active danger, focus on moving (or being moved) away, as fast and far as you can afford.

[–] ColdWater@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

These people became full blown cult now?

[–] gorgori@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Always have been.

[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

As others have said, you really should contact the police and let them know your brother is planning to murder people.

[–] plzExplainNdetail 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe the FBI would be a better contact in this case? I may be wrong, but to me the brothers explicit words of intention and access to guns seems very much like a threat of premeditated domestic terrorism. If that's indeed the case, here's the FBI's page with contact options near the bottom.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal/live with this OP. You deserve much better. This internet stranger is proud of you for doing all that's within your power in such a shitty situation!

[–] Skydancer@pawb.social 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Both of these are good suggestions, but only after OP gets out.

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[–] Chozo@fedia.io 14 points 3 weeks ago

"Family" and "relation" aren't mutually exclusive; call the cops on your brother. You can't un-radicalize him, but you can at least keep him away from you.

[–] hector@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago

Please update us!

[–] WhyFlip@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

How did they find out who you voted for?

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[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

I believe the FBI is who you’d contact my dude

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago

The problem is that you are totally unknown to us if you happen to not update or something what would we do? Who do we call? What we will say? You'll need to set up a network of people that checks on you and can ring an alarm.

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