this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
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Millennials are about to be crushed by all the junk their parents accumulated.

Every time Dale Sperling's mother pops by for her weekly visit, she brings with her a possession she wants to pass on. To Sperling, the drop-offs make it feel as if her mom is "dumping her house into my house." The most recent offload attempt was a collection of silver platters, which Sperling declined.

"Who has time to use silver? You have to actually polish it," she told me. "I'm like, 'Mom, I would really love to take it, but what am I going to do with it?' So she's dejected. She puts it back in her car."

Sperling's conundrum is familiar to many people with parents facing down their golden years: After they've acquired things for decades, eventually, those things have to go. As the saying goes, you can't take it with you. Many millennials, Gen Xers, and Gen Zers are now facing the question of what to do with their parents' and grandparents' possessions as their loved ones downsize or die. Some boomers are even still managing the process with their parents. The process can be arduous, overwhelming, and painful. It's tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don't want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.

Much has been made of the impending "great wealth transfer" as baby boomers and the Silent Generation pass on a combined $84.4 trillion in wealth to younger generations. Getting less attention is the "great stuff transfer," where everybody has to decipher what to do with the older generations' things.

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[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We are not a sentimental age

We don't want our parent's china or their ticker-tape parades

We are not a sentimental age

We're out getting high on fire escapes

We are hooking up with strangers we will never see again

We are not a sentimental age

We are not a sentimental age

...

We are not a sentimental age

On our shoulders is a boulder of a debt we cannot pay

We are not a sentimental age

Diagnosis says I tend to disengage

I'd rather have my privacy, I'd rather have my space

These are just the pills I have to take

We are not a sentimental age

https://youtu.be/VMOdzWBu8Ic

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My auntie has done the opposite for fucking years : she'll come visit her mum and leave with some knicknacks she's had her eye on from a previous visit. My mum is absolutely fuming about it. She absolutely does not need anything, but just the principle of her sister being such a fucking vulture...

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

My grandmother came in for years and asked for handouts from stuff that was mine when I was younger. My mother kept giving her my old stuff. When I went to move out I went to look at the storage area and nothing that I really cared about was still there.

A few years ago my father mentioned all the toys I still had and that I should come and get them, I told him that They had already given away anything I cared about and all that was left was junk It just needed to go away. He got all defensive. But if you're going to let somebody come in and take from a pool of goods they're going to continually take the best things until there's nothing useful left. I ended up with a small bucket of Legos and a couple of my favorite matchbook cars.

I'm not really sore about it, but at the same time him asking me to drive 7 hours and get the collection of broken items that were passed over No, either sell it in an eBay lot or throw it away.

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[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

About to be? My dad and mom are TV level hoarders. It's going to take dumpsters to clean their houses. And very little to none of it is worth anything.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Estate sale my boy. You will actually come out ahead... it's whoever buys responsibility to throw the garbage away.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

I am thinking of doing an estate sale on myself. :-/

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[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

My father was an incorrigible hoarder, but my mother had been culling his shit for years ever since he got too sick to stop her. Now that he's buried she's culling the last of it all, which is still a lot. She is not a hoarder but we kids have no use for her stuff even tho it's quality. Estate sale is what it's gonna be.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago (17 children)

Adults having to have adult conversations. Oh no

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[–] tburkhol@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

My folks have been spinning off their treasures for a couple decades now. They waited until their kids had already established & furnished their own households, so a lot of it ended up in the category of "Yes, I can put this in the trash for you."

Lifespans are at the awkward stage where the kids are too old and the grandkids too young to want any of those household staples.

[–] almost1337@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago

My basement is already half full of my inlaw's crap.

[–] Shadywack@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Much of the consumerism that taught them to accumulate junk turned into a burden for us all. Everything they bought is "vintage" and many pretend it holds onto some type of value. That or they didn't want to clean up their garage for 30 years. The boomers' posthumous contribution to landfills is truly staggering.

[–] MelodiousFunk 10 points 1 week ago

My mom was disappointed when I said I didn't want any of my dad's things when he died last year. Hell, I hated turning some of it down. And I'm not taking any of her stuff, either. I'm really not into the "50+ years of cigarettes" aesthetic.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You actually don't have to polish silver. It's anti-bacterial properties still work if it's tarnished.

[–] Halcyon@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But it looks shitty, it's not nice to eat with black spoons and forks that never look clean.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Goblincore...

[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago

And yet I am watching a re-resurgence of collecting crap began anew. Take vinyl for example: heavy, bulky, environmentally awful and on par with if not worse sounding than alternatives. But people want something tangible. Which I am also beginning to see with old collectables. Also art: there is a movement to get physical art since digital is not tangible and possibly not even made by a human.

China, silver, and plastic ware: I have seen an uptick in those as well which is bizarre. Is it just a matter of time till the cycle comes around again?

[–] IamSparticles@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

I've spent the last two decades training my parents to understand that I generally don't want their hand-me-downs, and probably don't want a lot of their belongings when they depart this world. Maybe a few items that have sentimental value, but the rest will likely be sold, assuming we can find people to buy it. And they do have a lot of stuff. Some of it valuable art and trinkets they've collected over the years. Very little of it resonates with me, though. They're in their 80s now, so we've had discussions about plans between them and my older brother and myself. There are trusts. We have access to their accounts. I count myself lucky that they're so practical.

[–] Chessmasterrex@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Nothing new. My both deceased grandmother's left behind houses, pole barns full of things. In the 80s, and the family resorted to renting a dumpster to get rid of much of it. It's kind of sad, but everyone already had lots of junk of their own. I'm guilty of this as well, I'm starting to fill up a storage unit of my own. I however think twice now when I make a purchase.

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