Asklemmy

Using black eyeliner.

Listening to music.

I was playing some music on my cassette player at school one day, but it wasn't rock'n'roll according to the renowned expert that was discussing the situation with me, therefore it was "gay".

okay, i'm gay, but this is still relevant.

my dad (who i haven't come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i've packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.

like bro they're just colours.

Handing out homemade candy in one of my upper level college courses.

Hold my arms in a position so that my hands grab the sides of my belly.

(which wasn't even something I was consciously doing, but apparently it was enough to make a fellow male teenager exclaim sarcastically that I was truly standing there in a very heterosexual way)

One time in high school, I heard somebody yell "Steve, you [bundle of sticks], stop talking to your girlfriend and let's go!" and Steve was in fact at the time talking to his girlfriend.

The sheer concentration of cognitive dissonance has stuck with me to this day.

One time at school I decided to randomly put a flower on my shrt from outside, then my friend started frantically saying "That's gay bro! Take it off now" and refusing to walk with me in public if i didnt take it off

Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.

Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.

Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on

Wearing a chain.

Chain necklace? Gay

Chain bracelet? Gay

Chain wallet? Also Gay

Chain mail. Well now you're a dork. And also Gay

Eat an ice cream treat in Australia:(

Here's something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that's gay? Are they gay? Funny how some "men" are so obsessed with "gay" stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.

I got called gay for wearing a kilt in america. What's funny is I had my girlfriend as well as a female friend with benifits with me at the time. I didn't even bother responding.

I've heard plenty of guys say that doing any kind of ass play, even with a female is gay.

Use hand lotion. Dude, my hands are dry, back off!

I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach during the pandemic and got called gay

Wore a maroon coloured hoodie

The dude who asked me this also stared fixedly at the crotch of my board shorts and asked me "where's your package, man?" upon me exiting climbing out of a (cold) plunge pool

I clearly looked confused, so he says "where's your piece?"

Dude clearly spent a fair amount of his time cataloguing the outlines of flaccid penises through boardshorts for whatever fucking reason.

I was offended, ish, till I heard the growers vs show-ers thing. Mine retracts while not in use, it's quite convenient.

The one and only thing was the way I held my wrists/hands when I was younger/into my teens. What's super weird is it was my dad who brought it up and mentioned it a lot but he is super supportive of lgbtq+ that's the weird thing to me.

Suck dick