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I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.
So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.
When I'm walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said 'well aren't you the gayest person I've met all day'.
I'm not sure how to feel tbh
Drink from a straw. Wear shorts.
It's a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.
Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it's ok to wear it in the left... Or the other way around. I could never remember which.
Cry.
Orange? Wait until Dutch football fans hear that. Would make NL during a Euro Cup or World Cup an absolutely β¨Β fabulousΒ β¨place xD
Quiche is amazing. Who doesn't like eggs and ham/bacon? Hanging out with gurls, well yeah nothing straight about that...
Damn, they took orange too? Deadass not making this pizza
Sucking dick.
According to my dad, considering something as 'lovely'. Even if it's the exhaust note of a motorcycle.
It's funny to me all the times that I've been considered not manly enough, whether it's wearing my hot pink vans or a pink shirt or tie, allowing my gf or now my daughters to paint my nails, and tons of other examples I've been called gay for too. It made me think, what really makes a man. And going by their own definition, isn't it one sign of a man to not be swayed by the opinion of someone who seeks only to denigrate? So why would I care about their opinion?
I've had a colleague say that tea is "homo water". I'm aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don't know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we've kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
To anyone who thinks tea isn't for cishet men I have four words:
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Being gay doesn't mean someone is somehow less masculine, which is the heart of what the "homo water" idiot is implying.
Was the British Empire, upon which the sun never set, somehow not masculine enough? One could argue it ran on tea. Morally questionable, absolutely, but not manly enough?
Were the samurai somehow compromised in their masculinity because they drank tea, sometimes in elaborate ceremonies?
And, apart from tea, were the Sacred Band, the elite warriors who died to a man fighting Alexander the Great's dad, somehow less manly because they were all gay?
I bet this colleague of yours also thinks straws are gay in this parlance, as if it's somehow more manly to put one's lips on the same glass rims touched by hundreds of others. I guess hygiene is not masculine or heterosexual.
And the thing is, even my rant here is problematic because it spawns from a lifetime of people equating gay with not being enough of a man, an attitude that infects my own thinking.
Shit, the most feminine of men is more of a man than these idiots if he stands up for his identity unapologetically.
Yeah this is kinda a point. People like this colleague seem to have gotten stuck in a highschool bully mindset ans never moved on. All of their jokes are about people who are different, their whole status seems to be based on their "masculinity". In my experience this is the largest portion of homo/transphobes here in the Netherlands. People who aren't violent or outright hateful, but rather just pushing outdated jokes and viewpoints and then getting annoyed by all the "woke bullshit" when they get called out.
My tactic so far is to not fully attack back, but rather staying friendly while showing my disappointment with this behaviour unless it goes too far. Most of these people are otherwise decent, and in my opinion may be swayed by someone "woke" who doesn't go "full crazy sjw" but does call them out. Making a joke about minorities is way easier of you don't know anyone well from those groups. They're not crazy Trump voters, so they may still be steered in the right direction
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90βs.
I was called gay for not liking soccer, like itβs gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.
I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.
Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasnβt fun. Like this show is gay. He didnβt mind, but still wanted to stop.
Sucking my best friendβs dick. Iβm sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Around 2010ish I was thoroughly enjoying some Bells Two Hearted and other IPAs. My brother (2 years older) tried arguing that bud light is man's beer, and my beers were fruity and girly. It certainly doesn't matter to me, but the irony of choosing bud light, out of all the macro beers, is just π¨βπ³π>
when I finished high school and was talking with friends about going to uni, a few of us were talking a out renting a place together when we got into uni to be close (instead of 2 hours away like we were). another friend we should never do that because people would think we are gay. obligatory he is a Christian fundamentalist who is highly likely gay himself
Wear a kilt?
TBH I've never tried and nobody told me it was gay. But I'm a sweaty person and I would love to air out my crotch except for fear of social criticism.
Use chapstick
Read a book in public
Not go to gym
Play certain more "feminine" games
Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more
As a kid I was told if you eat scrambled eggs for dinner you are gay. It affected me longer than I care to admit.
I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for βgirls and gaysβ.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny". So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he's "not allowed to have an opinion because he's a man" which is the most double standard bullshit I've ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It's stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny".
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
All of the comments here are reminding me of how life was 20 years ago and also before I was married with kids.
I genuinely donβt fucking care how feminine somebody thinks something Iβm doing is if Iβm comfortable or enjoying myself. Iβll drink pink drinks all day if it fucking tastes good LMLML bro.
I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.
Fuck my bf in the ass...
Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.
Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.
I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don't understand it now.
Playing tennis.
In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.
I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.
While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say "good game." But the tennis team are the gay ones?
They got mad, but dropped it.
In jr. high i was called gay because I dressed semi decent. Jeans with a t-shirt a blazer was apparently too much for them lol
In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).
I was told I'm gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I'm gay, but not because of that.
Using black eyeliner.
Hugging friends. Or any sort of physical contact that isn't with a woman.