Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
293 points (98.0% liked)
The Onion
4559 readers
1006 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.
Are you sure you want this?
🎶 let's get it on... 🎶
Trump can rub two hamburgers together.
just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat
White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)
"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!
I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?
Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.
I wanna see them both on hot ones
Trump will melt by the 4th bottle
I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?
Oops! All Da Bomb
:disgust:
Translation for our East Asian friends:
White House Noise
Oof, I ate this onion.
Was it tasty at least?
The Sleepy Joe vote!