Look, conservatives, I’m pretty tired of you. I’m very close to snapping my fingers in the exact way that causes you to suddenly disappear from existence, so I suggest you play nice.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Whoaaa now, you know that's still experimental. Last time we tried they started complaining about chemtrails.
Not the Legendary Wuxi finger hold! I thought we were keeping that hidden.
Don't forget they rigged the election... but not enough to give them any real political power.
They cheated in the election and put Biden into office but forgot to cheat enough to get full control of the House and Senate which would, in turn, give them control over the Judiciary!
D'oh!
I am going to write a sternly-worded letter to Dominion and Smartmatic about their voting machines not faking votes the right way.
The Enemy is strong
At the same time
The Enemy is weak
Straight out of the Fascist Guidebook For Dummies
War Is Peace. Freedom Is Slavery. Ignorance Is Strength.
How 'bout a nice cup of LIBER-TEA??? For LIBERTY! Liberty for ALL! GET SOME! Freedom never sleeps!
/S
I don't think we're ever going to lose the words just slowly twist and corrupt them until they are entirely ironic said seriously.
Helldivers never di-giblet noises
I guess they really like losing civil wars huh? It's their "heritage" after all.
The enemy is WEAK and INVINCIBLE at the same time!
Don't forgot our armies of illegal immigrants and drug-crazed gang members.
Well Mister you forgot one thing, they have ~~the hulk.~~ God
GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA AND THE MONSTERS ON TV GOOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND ME
Did you just.... veggietales me? In public, all out and about like this and you pull out your veggietales like that?
“My dear, religion is like a penis. It’s a perfectly fine thing to have and take pride in, but when one takes it out and waves it in front of my face we have a problem."
- Dame Maggie Smith
RIP
And definitely don't force it on your children.
Finally someone said it.
Yeah I did, what're you gonna do? I'm on this big wall.
🫛 🧱
Keep walking, but you won't knock down our wall.
Keep walking, but she isn't gonna to fall!
It's plain to see your brains are very small.
To think walking, will be knocking down our wall.
You siiilly little pickle...you tiny little peaaass...
Weirdly, though, he can't just snap his fingers and make Satan vanish.
I guess he's not that omnipotent.
Well he can, but he doesn't because, uh... Because it's all part of his plan. Kinda like kids getting cancer, or natural disasters.
I thought gay sex caused natural disasters.
it's true and honestly really inconvenient. I keep trying to kiss my gf but we're always interrupted by tornado sirens. How are we supposed to groom any kids into our satanic sex cult under these conditions??
Them damn liberals with their gay sex, causin' natural disasters in my pants.
Q totally could. Praise be you big weirdo
Yeah, but The Sisko can knock him on his ass
Uh no, he's super horny for torture
Yeah, but evangelicals also think Satan does all sorts of trickery on Earth all the time to thwart God. Which God somehow lets happen.
And then, of course, there's the fact that people can hurt their omnipotent god by doing things like saying "fuck" or kissing someone of their own gender. The god that's also omniscient, so he would have seen it coming before he did all the light let there being.
Satan has to exist. Otherwise they would be responsible for the fucked up shit that they do.
I'm a good Christian. I only did a shit ton of drugs and orgies because SATAN made me do it. I can't go to hell because of what the devil did in my body. I can atone with god and he will clear my soul of wrongdoing. And then I can walk around in public without shame again.
The best part is all you have to do is say you're sorry and you go to heaven. Then you just do more drugs and have more sex and then just say you're sorry again... works every time!
God is secretly horny for all that shit, He's Satan's bottom.
He's just repressed, like a Republican senator.
Weird how we all make gods in our own image
That and I think their god hates them.
Well yeah, they hate themselves
I’m firmly convinced that Christianity can be broken into polytheistic (folk Catholics especially), dualistic (everyone screaming about the devil), and monotheistic (all Christians are influenced by it and so any individual Christian may be). The dualists scare me
The truth doesn’t matter as long as everybody is outraged.
Worked for the taliban.
They're super ~~sized~~ soldiers! No one can defeat the gravy seals!
~~Goddamn it I had the perfect gif for this... Stupid thing won't display~~
Edit: thanks rain_worl!
you have a link to the webpage, you probably can get a link to the gif by right clicking
fixed: