this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (3 children)

They forgot your mom's stomach to show the 400 calories of cum.

/s

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 month ago

As if she ever stops at 400

[–] match@pawb.social 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

^ this person knows their cum

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Average Tuesday

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

4chan version is that but with rainbow dash

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

Well, you don't eat swords for their calories. You eat them for the iron.

[–] TAYRN@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

They always talk about existential horror, but never inistential horror. Curious

[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 month ago

That looks like intestinal horror to me

[–] TAYRN@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My ex would probably have a few things to say about that, amiright! (kill me).

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Someone should create a breed of chicken that's primarily fibrous matter and water.

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imagine a universe where plants were responsible for modern climate change, Earth Day celebrated deforestation, and Impossible Foods was developing this monster fiber-chicken.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 9 points 1 month ago

I guess photosynthetic life has been responsible for catastrophic climate change before

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago

Whole grain chicken

[–] pooberbee@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

You coud try eating the pellicle from a batch of kombucha.

[–] hate2bme@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Pretty much all they are. That and 97% hormone.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Existential horror has calories?! Never mind potato chips, philosophy made me fat.

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Guys I don't think I can eat 400 owls in one sitting.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

400 calories of owls is less than one owl, owls aren't tic tacs

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

except for the tictac owl

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

I was joking.

[–] JATtho@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

You don't know untill you try. For me, maybe consuming 400 existential dread doses a day doesn't register.

(/s maybe, this is a tongue in cheek post... )

[–] merari42@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Pawh. I do not consume existential horror. It consumes me.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

“Do you want to get a bite to eat?”

“No thanks. I have Lovecraft at home.”

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Part of what’s made it difficult for me to turn vegetarian is I never feel full after a well-made salad. Even things like grain bowls feel a bit lacking sometimes.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

High fiber salads should decrease gastric emptying speed. Grain doesn't have a lot of fiber or protein to break down so it shouldn't spend much time in your stomach in the first place. Amylases are generally doing their work in your saliva and small intestine.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

you gotta have the legumes

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] klemptor@startrek.website 7 points 1 month ago

Heeeere we go again guys.... hold on to your jeans

[–] solarvector@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

Steel might be difficult to digest, but it is very caloric dense.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago

I haven't eaten in three days and my stomach is still full of existential horror

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

That sweet, sweet exy horror 🤤

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

c/imsorryjon

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

How much is 400 calories of calories?