this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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The Moscow Times reports that Russia’s Ministry of Health has pressed research institutes to provide immediate updates on their efforts to combat aging, cognitive decline, and osteoporosis, as well as to strengthen the immune system.

"We were asked to urgently send all of our developments, and the letter arrived, let’s say, today, but everything had to be sent yesterday," one researcher told Meduza.

The urgency is reportedly driven by Mikhail Kovalchuk, a 77-year-old scientist and close friend of Putin. Kovalchuk, who heads the Kurchatov Nuclear Research Institute and has ties to a state-funded genetics program that includes Putin’s eldest daughter, endocrinologist Maria Vorontsova, is said to be leading the push for life-extension research.

"The big boss set the task, and officials rushed to implement it in every possible way," according to a Kremlin insider.

Kovalchuk is described as being "obsessed with eternal life."

He reportedly pitched the idea to Putin.

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[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh man... don't you just want him to try some experimental shit that backfires immediately and horribly. And for this to happen very, very soon.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Stalin may have lived longer. He had a heart attack that may have been able to be survived, but no doctor in the room would treat him. It's debated if it was due to fear of punishment if they failed, or due to everybody wanting that asshole to die.

Either way, he may have lived 20 more years if doctors did something besides nothing.

That being said, maybe todays russian doctors will be equally helpful. That is to say, they do nothing if something goes wrong.

[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wasnt it a stroke and no one disturbed him for ages in his office effectively enabling his desth through inaction

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

Some could have opened the door them quietly walked away. The world may never know.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I propose that the ruzzians come up with volunteer doctors for putin. And sure, let's try anything and everything these guys come up with...on putin! You know, to extend his life! I heard lemons are good for life injection!

[–] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is this bullshit? This feels like bullshit.

The Moscow Times reports

No link? I couldn’t find it on their web site.

reportedly

is said to be

according to a Kremlin insider

is described as

Etc etc

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Eating glass helps, I hear

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Truth is, they have to be large pieces and taken as a suppository.

[–] Heikki@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I saw a video of this that scarred me as a child

[–] Fergie434@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I can still see it clear as day right now. Only watched it once ~15 years ago but that was enough to burn it into my retinas.

[–] bazus1@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Drinking mercury helps, I hear

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, you said you wanted to pivot towards China. What better way than to adopt the Chinese Emperor diet?

[–] skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 months ago

90% emperors cut funding to immortality elixir research just before breakthrough

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ancient Chinese medicine always works, trust me bro, just take a bunch of mercury every day. The Chinese did it before and that dude has an amazing tomb now so it's all cool. Just do it.

[–] Belgdore@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mercury makes you insane before you die. He’d likely start a nuclear war, and then die.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

So, inject in the vein

[–] Carrolade@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Yeah I think that one is still pretty far away. The degradation of the DNA in all the various cells of your body over time is a pretty formidable challenge.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Aging is a lot more complex than one molecule breaking down (we have built-in DNA repair equipment), and most of the mechanisms are still unknown, so it's hard to say.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Only if you're not the highlander!

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!

.....oh, also, putin is not the highlander.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 2 points 2 months ago

It's also not gonna be one bottleneck. All kinds of different issues.

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There was a Lemmy post about Telomir Pharmaceuticals a week or so ago, they're developing a drug that's supposed to regenerate telomeres and it was showing decent results in canine trials. So at least the telomere shortening issue in DNA aging has a possibility of being addressed in the medium-term if things continue to go well. https://www.benzinga.com/partner/biotech/24/09/40707135/telomir-pharmaceuticals-nasdaq-telo-featured-in-local-abc-exclusive-showing-positive-outcomes-of-

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago

By telomere length humans should live to about 120, but we don't. There are other problems to solve before telomeres matter

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Somewhere, in some pathetic bunker, Putin is having terrible diarrhea day after day while taking this so-called treatment.

Please enjoy that thought while you continue doom scrolling.

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 3 points 2 months ago

Ahh the old philosophical question:

“Would you take eternal life if it basically involved sitting on the toilet shitting your guts out all day every day?”

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Haha why do you say that? Something I missed?

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Certain "cures" don't sit well with your gut, and it's a pleasant image, so that's my thought after hearing he's getting treated for age.

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Then stop war in Ukraine and fund whatever the fuck you want.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Which Putin? This newest one is the worst replacement they've gotten yet. Can't even do the voice and the surgery scars did not heal well.

[–] rah@feddit.uk 2 points 2 months ago

the surgery scars did not heal well

Source?

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I am wondering whether any analysts at the CIA or similar agencies picked up on this years ago in his psychological profile (i.e., the narcissism, paranoia, germophobia, lack of a succession plan, and such) and started making plans. Perhaps there’s a biotech startup in, say, Serbia or somewhere, funded in 2007 with opaquely sourced seed money, “researching” “cellular de-aging” or something, with convincingly faked tests giving just enough promise. The research is fake, of course, and the business is meant as bait to be acquired by a Kremlin entity or one of Putin’s human-wallet oligarchs, at which point Putin’s fate is in the hands of whatever spooks are controlling it.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

It saves on the cloning process

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 6 points 2 months ago

Luckily im not looking to live forever in a world with folks like putin in it.

[–] uebquauntbez@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Once a chinese leader took quicksilver for that. Putin should try that too. ASAP.

[–] TryingOutNewThings@discuss.online -2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You guys really believe this?

[–] lostinfog@reddthat.com 3 points 2 months ago

It was very quick of you guys to get new accounts.. gotta keep shilling for the kremlin gremlin, amirite?