this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SilentObserver@lemm.ee 102 points 2 months ago (1 children)

2022 years ago? So this must be Christ reincarnated.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 67 points 2 months ago (4 children)

No no. Jesus was born on 0AD. This kid was born on 2AD. Jesus would have been 2 years old, so he hadn't yet died.

Whats more concerning, is this is being posted by one of the kids parents. Which means THEY were born sometime in BCE. Which means they were alive and old enough to have kids when Jesus was born.

WHY ARE THEY NOT REVEALING THEIR TRICKS OF IMMORTALITY????

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought Jesus was born a few years after his official birth year though?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

About 34 years later, yeah. But it was also 40 days after his death. Making Jesus a zombie. Or, alternatively, it makes religion as a whole self admitted bullshit. Your call, christians.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago

There are other options besides those two, like not having accurate historical records to know the actual date of birth and death, so that there are lots of conflicting accounts.

I agree that religion in general is a crock used by charlatans to control people.
But I suspect that this isn't the gotcha you think it is, especially because I don't think that the precise dates really matter to the religion.

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What? No, Jesus was a Lich

[–] blackris@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A small correction and „fun fact“: there is no year zero. 1 BC is followed by 1 AD. Consequently things like the turn of the millennium happen a year after we celebrate them. But people found that weird.

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The disturbing answer to both of your questions is drinking blood of children keeps you young. It's all about adrenochrome and you can but shouldn't google it

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So THAT'S why republicans want to ban abortion, and why mitch mcconnell just WON'T die already.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"We will raise your kid", sure you will "raise" them

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Raise them right into their mouth.

[–] Aedis@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Raise as in how you raise a wine glass to drink from it afterwards.

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

adrenochrome

Several small-scale studies (involving 15 or fewer test subjects) conducted in the 1950s and 1960s reported that adrenochrome triggered psychotic reactions such as thought disorder and derealization

Interesting. This is probably what makes people, who would normally not kill or do other horrible acts, to do so in conditions of extreme distress and then later have a feeling of it never have actually happened, making them still be able to live life with about the same personality as before.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's long debunked and today a conspiracy theory

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well, it does say "15 or fewer subjects".

So, not much of an expectation

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

Probably some Biblical mumbo-jumbo.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've never seen a post with zero upvotes.....did you un-upvote your own post???

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes, that's possible to do.

You can even downvote your own post. Like here

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 80 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Damn. That kid is fucking oooooold!

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 97 points 2 months ago (2 children)

His days are numbered, though.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

I mean, if he's 2022 years old he probably doesn't have much time left. 💔

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 0 points 2 months ago

That's a pretty big number, though.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He looks so young for his age.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

He doesn't look a day past 80

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When you're least expecting it... I will be there. Watch your back... for the tickle monster. And his knife... of love

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a detective Pimento quote

[–] tyler@programming.dev 38 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Might not be a native English speaker.

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am fairly certain math and time are well understood concepts in non- English speaking cultures

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Idioms and phrasing in English are not.

What's the literal meaning of "his days are numbered"?

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

There are multiple references to this in the Bible. This is the most uplifting one I found.

Psalm 90

10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.

12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

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[–] BlackDragon 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person's life? I'm not sure I understand the question because the meaning of this one is pretty easy to see. Normally it is unclear when your death will be, but if someone tells you that your days are numbered they are implying that they possess the exact knowledge of what number of days you have left to live. They don't usually mean that literally but the literal meaning is pretty clear.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It means that you can place a specific number on the number of days left in a person’s life?

Or the number of days since their birth? That's the simpler explanation.

"Those apples are numbered" = "we know how many apples there are right now"

If you don't know the context, you could easily assume that's the meaning.

[–] BlackDragon 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or the number of days since their birth? That’s the simpler explanation.

“Those apples are numbered” = “we know how many apples there are right now”

No, that does not make equal literal sense to what I said. Because days that are in the past are gone, we don't have them anymore. We refer to moving through time as "killing" time or as "losing" time, in English we don't tend to think of the past as something we currently have. The future is something we have or will have, the past is something we had and no longer have.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (2 children)

We refer to moving through time as “killing” time or as “losing” time, in English we don’t tend to think of the past as something we currently have.

Exactly! In English! Which this person does not know!

What's the meaning of "pulling your leg" vs the literal definition?

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[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

I believe that's a threat sandwich.

[–] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Poor boy, in addiction to have a questionable reasoning father now he’s on Lemmyshitpost and who knows where else. That adds up to the senile problems

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] AutomaticUpdates@monero.town 16 points 2 months ago
[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Chazz : Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy : Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz : Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

[–] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Plus his father his making not so veiled treaths to his life.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Don’t know, I’m just counting someone days

[–] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 2 months ago
[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago
[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

2+0-2+2 - checks out.

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