this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
151 points (99.3% liked)

The Onion

4432 readers
2849 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
151
Health Experts Recommend Doing Exact Opposite Of Whatever Simon Cowell Doing To His Body (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by Midnight to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 6 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So many upvotes and no comments because none of us know what to add to a perfect Onion article. It's short and sweet, too.

[–] HaleHirsute@infosec.pub 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can someone get me a pic of this Simon guy so I can understand the joke. I am prohibited from using search engines by the demon that has taken over my soul.

[–] late_night@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The article has a photo

[–] HaleHirsute@infosec.pub 1 points 2 months ago

Thank you :-)

[–] doofy77@aussie.zone 4 points 2 months ago

The old king of the beavers.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrities/simon-cowell/

After looking at more photos to see if I could find something worse than what was in the article, I noticed that he has the same weird smile in alot of his photos. It’s like he’s purposely just exposing his top teeth when he smiles. I’m assuming it’s a sort of “rehearsed” smile he can pull out whenever he needs to, because celebrities are just expected to be “on” all the time, but it looks weirder the more I look at it. I’m not entirely certain what a “normal” smile is supposed to look like, but that’s not it.