this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 118 points 3 months ago (4 children)

(opens Blender with malicious intent)

[–] Track_Shovel 135 points 3 months ago
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[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 114 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I've been thinking about it for several days, and have come to the conclusion that Elastigirl could indeed grow a dick. As shown in multiple scenes, she can stretch any part of her body to make it many times larger. Based on what she has done, it should be no problem for her to extend her genitals into a penis. This brings us to the second discussion point. Mr. Incredible has super-strength, and more importantly, super endurance. This means that his wife could easily expand her dick to several yards in length. The problem of fitting in into Bob's tight asshole could easily be solved by inserting it while small, and ballooning up afterwards. I think the writers made them have these Specific powers on purpose. It seems unlikely that it is a coincidence that Helen has the ability to grow a massive dick, and her husband just so happens to have an indestructible anus. Therefore I conclude that not only does Elastigirl have the biggest dick in the world, she bones Mr. Incredible with it on a regular basis. And because it is a girl and a guy, it is by definition, not gay

[–] admin@sh.itjust.works 49 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What the fuck did I just read?

[–] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 59 points 3 months ago

The abstract for OP’s PHD thesis.

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[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Please invite me to the defense of the thesis, I'll sit in the back and ask relevant questions that you can answer easily and allows you to show off your intellectual prowess at the same time.

[–] luciferofastora@lemmy.zip 24 points 3 months ago

I appreciate the effort you put into writing this. Not the result, but at least the effort.

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Fuckin QED, mate

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 71 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know I couldn't do this on Reddit but can I delete someone else's post on Lemmy?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yes.

Step 1: Host an instance

Step 2: Delete a post

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 28 points 3 months ago

I like Lemmy better already.

[–] gregor@gregtech.eu 9 points 3 months ago

Hehehehe I can do that

[–] verdantbanana@lemmy.world 71 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Track_Shovel 64 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 32 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I should ask her how it's hanging

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

More importantly:

The only reason they hooked up in the first place was that her powers allowed her to take that Incredidick™ without dying.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's the, ah, finish that's the danger.

Basically this:

(I'm sorry)

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 5 points 3 months ago

Before you even get to the ...catastrophic finish, Every thrust would be a danger of either getting thrown across the room or getting crushed, unless you're...

... flexible.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 35 points 3 months ago

you shouldnt ask questions you already know the answer to

[–] Maultasche@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (10 children)

To the person who flagged this NSFW because of the language, you probably will not last long on Lemmy if "clit" and "dick" (misspelled) are too not safe for where you work.

[–] Track_Shovel 8 points 3 months ago

Doing the Lord's work Squidward

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[–] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

✊ TO THE SEARCH MACHINE!

Rule 34, don't you fail me now!!

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Based on random deviant art from just logging in you wont be disappointed.

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

everyday we stray further from god

[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

I'm pretty sure the fanart of that exists somewhere. Rules 34 and 35, y'know.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

I don't see why not.

[–] lath@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She could, but it would be hard to keep it hardened long enough or tough enough for it to be used that way. She's not a fucking pokemon after all...

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She turned herself into a motorboat

[–] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But not for motorboating purposes.

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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

fucking pokemon

I got distracted

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago

Speaking of Vaporeon...

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] Track_Shovel 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] gregor@gregtech.eu 6 points 3 months ago

This will be very useful in the future in, tysm!

[–] iiGxC 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Cause they'll never get to see her do this?

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 months ago

Not with that attitude

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The meme my fet needed

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Wouldn't it be too sensitive to fuck with?

[–] Track_Shovel 39 points 3 months ago

My wife tells me I'm to sensitive to fuck with.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Presumably the nerves wouldn't multiply and they'd be spread out, creating a faux penis in a process that wasn't entirely dissimilar from evolution's.

[–] Track_Shovel 14 points 3 months ago

female hyenas would like to know your location

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

Well she'd probably accelerate up to teenage-boy initial orgasm speed, but because she's a woman she could just keep going until she's had enough of them. And presumably the nerve endings would be more dispersed due to stretching.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

It wouldn't be pegging then, would it?

[–] mjhelto@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago

That's enough Internet for today!

[–] Phegan@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Do you think she can extend it enough for fuck bois to find it?

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[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 7 points 3 months ago

I don’t know, but I guarantee they’ve at least tried.

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