this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
190 points (97.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43364 readers
2103 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] zcd@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
  • Stay out of debt
  • Strength train (5/3/1 three or four days per week)
  • Avoid substance abuse
  • Only settle down with someone who is a HELL YES. If you're lukewarm about them, it's a no
  • Make time to do something creative like music, make it a habit
  • Say no if you're not interested in something or someone. Its ok to say no to shit
[–] finley@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Don’t smoke

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

Listen to Baz Lurhman's "everyone's free to wear sunscreen". And I mean listen to it. Every single line is true.

[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.run 12 points 1 month ago

It's fairly hard to create one-size-fits-all advice since everyone will be in different parts of their lives in different circumstances.

Less time on the internet and definitely away from the big social media sites does one good. Avoiding the 24/7 news cycle does as well. Instead, read a book for something you want to learn or read fiction for some period of time a day on most days.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

A career is about skill mastery. Pick something valuable, that you enjoy or can tolerate, and just keep practicing at it. If you're smart enough to go to an engineering school that's the right track. Otherwise welder, electrician, plumber, tree trimmer, lineman, whatever. Just master the skill. Don't do the bare minimum to get a paycheck. Master. The. Skill.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

54m here, can I join in?

Pay yourself first. You pay rent, you pay a car payment, add paying yourself first. That payment can be as little as $1, but it goes into a savings fund AND IT IS GONE, just like any other payment EVERY MONTH. When the savings fund gets to an amount that it can be rolled into something that makes more interest, do it. But that money is GONE, for all intents and purposes. When do you use it? You will know, when you can pull it out for something that is not an emergency, but rather something that will last the rest of your life. No, cars don't count.

Cars, trucks, etc.... Here is the thing about cars and trucks. THEY ARE A COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU STAY ENSLAVED TO MAKING PAYMENTS ON EVERYTHING ELSE. But wait Canopyflyer, you say with a roll of your eyes, I HAVE to have a car, because there's no public transit where I live. Dude, I live in the United States, no one takes public transit here, I fucking know. So thanks for dropping anchor there admiral obvious. Buy the most reliable and cheap to run car you can possibly find. That doesn't mean an old shitbox. Buy a car that's a couple of years old that has a reputation for reliability and has already lost that first year's depreciation. I currently drive a 10 year old Camry LE, that I bought with 7k on the odo. Using a car to show how big your cock isn't, is the epitome of stupidity and is disastrous to your future financial health. If you're driving the latest SmallCockMobile with a $1k payment +... You are a complete fucking moron.

CAVEAT ON VEHICLES: If you can have someone else pay for it, then sure, go buy that ego mobile. That includes the company you work for, or if you're in a business where you have to have a certain type of vehicle. I have a great deal of respect for a person that works with their hands and needs a truck to carry their tools.

OK, maybe that's two bits of advice, but both are financial, so I'm sticking with it.

[–] kerthale@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Take care of your health. Any unhealthy habit you develop now is going to be kicking your behind later. Also, hang around people that get the best out of you. Not just party people. Cause when stuff gets tuff your party buddies are going to be nowhere to be found.

[–] HarbingerOfTomb@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Don't think you're grown and will only make smart decisions now. I only started making the right decisions yesterday. And I'll say the same thing tomorrow.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] terminal@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

If you want kids, don’t put it off for too long. I waited till my late 30s because I was never ready. Here’s the thing you will never feel completely ready. As long as your life is basically stable (job, housing, and no serious issues) you will be okay.

Kids are hard but super rewarding. If you have them young then you’ll get to see them as adults in your 40s. By the time my kids are adults I’ll be pushing 60 and hoping that I live long enough to meet a grandchild.

People have successfully (shades of grey here I know) been having kids for a long time. You’ll never feel “ready” but rest assured you’ll figure it out.

[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know if this goes for all guys. Your balls will kinda drop again at some stage. If you have a desk job you could end up sitting on them for a while before realising what's happened. Adjust the way you sit, what you wear down there.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I notice immediately when I sit on mine. And everyone else in the room notices too due to the sound I make.

[–] ____@infosec.pub 10 points 1 month ago
  • If you need medical care, get fucking medical care. Seriously. It will get worse if you ignore it, whatever "it" happens to be.
  • Following the above, have at least one trusted advocate (partner, family member, friend, doesn't matter) who can explain any chronic issues, typical medications, etc., and who can and will advocate on your behalf with medical professionals in e.g., a hospital setting as and when necessary.
[–] OhmsLawn@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Go to the dentist. Get a little exercise. Find a way to reduce calories over the next 20 years, spend as little as possible. Borrow a little money for your car. Stay away from credit cards until you make enough to pay the cards in full every month. Keep track of every skill you learn on the job, using that information to transition into higher-paying jobs. Get a savings account. Spend as little as possible without skimping on food quality. Save 1 months salary and keep that in checking. At the end of each month, transfer everything above the target funds into savings. Save 3 months salary for an emergency fund. Once this financial foundation is established, divide additional funds into two buckets: one gets invested each month, the other is for major purchases and travel.

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

37, close enough. Invest invest invest. Start a 401K with Acorns or something, I don’t care. Just start putting money away for your retirement yesterday.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] _core@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That thing you want to learn but keep putting off? Jump in and learn it, by the time you're 40 you'll be amazing at.

[–] 0_0j@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Be somewhere you want to be, doing something you want to do.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Arfman@aussie.zone 9 points 1 month ago

Enjoy your health and exercise. I thought I was in pain in the 20s and 30s but then it's worse in your 40s. I wish I ate better and exercise more.

[–] MidnightBanjo@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

When you move things, lift correctly (safety videos are online). I’m only 35, but because of all the moving I did in my 20s, without thought of safety, I have frequent lower back pain and it doesn’t take much to hurt it.

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lift with your legs

Brush your teeth

Eat healthily

Exercise regularly

Wear ear plugs at concerts

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm 50 and a woman, but my advice for the hell of it is be nice to your knees and back, and don't waste your time on relationships that suck.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Appreciate the fact you can force your pee stream further now. I don't know when I lost the ability but I do remember when I tried to and nothing happened. It was a shocking reminder I was getting old

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Get in shape. Lift weights, do cardio, eat healthy. Cut garbage food out of your life completely; no cheat days ever - it needs to be a complete lifestyle, not a "diet". Learn what macros are, and follow them. Take up running, and make it a habit so that you run every. Single. Day, sun, shine, hail, or snow. (Yes, you can get snowshoes for running in snow. I like barefoot shoes, since that's easier on my knees and back, but they take a long time to get used to.)

Get an education. Go to school. DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR PASSION; get an education in something that you can stand doing and will actually be employable. Following your passion and trying to make a living doing it leads to burnout. Let your passion be it's own thing, instead of something that you try to make money from. EDIT - an "education" can also mean going to trade school, if you can't stomach the idea of sitting behind a desk all day for 40 years. Yes, take English lit classes and art classes if you're passionate about it, but do that for fun. Depending on a fun thing for keeping a roof over your head quickly leads to fun not being fun anymore.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

Fuck this. I'm a computer guy who didn't finish high school (credits wouldn't transfer) and got a GED so I could start college early. I didn't finish that either. I got a job among CS grads at one of the most prestigious tech companies because I spent a ton of energy learning about computers because that shit was exciting to me.

I'm bored and lazy as fuck about it now. I'm still learning new things (started a new homelab again two months ago) but it's nothing like when I was younger and had a ton of energy to stay up until dawn learning. I had no future and it still worked out because I pursued my passion to the fullest degree.

If your passion isn't marketable, perhaps this makes sense. But the all caps "this is a truth" way that this was presented really rubbed me the wrong way.

I love and support education. Go to school. Get an education. Most people will likely not build a career without that. But holy shit, if you're hardcore about a thing and that thing can make you money, you might be able to do without the education only because your education comes from spending every minute of every day educating yourself outside of the system.

Ok, going back to bed. Apologies if any of this is muddled.

[–] lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Relatable. I've been working in IT for over eight years now. I didn't study it because I didn't qualify for university and people constantly told me I am so bad at math that I would never work in the field. Here I am, doing exactly that, just because I was really interested in computer stuff in my youth and learned something new almost every day just by myself.

I was also able to study at a design school for two years. I have already used this knowlege to design brochures, logos and various other things for customers successfully. My art teacher in school always said to me I would never be able to do something like this because she just didn't like my art style.

I'm glad I never listened to all of these people and did indeed follow my passion. The added bonus is that I actually like my job (most of the time).

[–] DadVolante@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Counterpoint to all the young people: Never listen to ANYONE who tells you not to follow your passion.

It's better to try, fail and learn than it is to grow old and wonder what could have been

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] n0x0n@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago

Exercise more. Does not apply to all of the 20s, but to quite some.

[–] rozodru@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

appreciate what you have now. take your time, you have tmie right now, don't worry about finding your dream situation in live be it work, love, living, whatever just experience life. you're young, you hopefully have some money, so experience it if you can. If you're going to drink, do it now cause when you hit my age hangovers last 2 days and after one or two beers you're pissing up a storm.

Don't complain about a week taking forever and you hope the weekend comes soon because once you hit your 40s all that "time" snowballs together and you'll be begging the days to go by slower. Things start speeding up and people start leaving you and you have no choice but to go along for the ride and hope for the best. You're still in your 20s, cherish the time you have. hold onto it. apprecaite it. Take as many photos as you can, take as many videos as you can and save them. Friends and lovers will come and go but those memories from your 20s will last forever. make it easy to remember them.

[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Do whatever you want.

Edit: Be genuine and honest with people. Be open. You'll meet the best people this way and have better relationships. You'll also discover who you shouldn't waste time with quicker, and you won't waste theirs.

[–] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago

Don't let others control your life. If someone is only making you hurt, cut them off clean.

This especially is for blood relations! Only scared old people say that shit about obeying your elders! If your family or immediate "friends" only use or abuse, get out fast!

There's always a place and tribe for you, don't let assholes dictate who you are or "should be".

It took 30 years and most of my physical health to learn that one! Injured spine, nerve damage, financial issues ... All from the group I grew up around being hideously toxic.

I've been free of them for about 5 years now and am finally healing, both physically where I can and mentally. Financially too, just slower.

I now have loving girlfriends, an amazing and healthy daughter, and I've been able to start reconnecting with the people that really clicked with me but were forced away by my family and their friends for being too different from them. I barely got a year and a half with my best friend I'd list touch with before he suddenly was diagnosed with and died from pancreatic cancer.

Don't waste your time on people who drain you with nothing to return! You and the people who improve you don't have the time and energy to spare!

[–] DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Forgive others and yourself quickly. You're going to make a lot of mistakes and so are the people around you.

[–] sevan@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Research your professional value and have the courage to go after it if you are not being paid what you are worth.

I worked 17 years for the same company. I was promoted 4 times during those years and received a few extra pay increases along the way, but I was underpaid as soon as I took the first promotion and the gap increased with each additional promotion. I probably walked away from more than $100k in lifetime earnings, plus interest, by sticking with the company.

I should have changed companies at least once and probably twice. You don't have to be on a promotion path to run into this. It could be you were underpaid on day 1, but you needed the job or you didn't have experience. That's fine, but once you have the experience and have proven yourself, find out what the market rate is for your role and ask for it, be ready to show your research. If you don't get it, start applying for other jobs.

Don't be afraid to talk to your peers about salary. If you are making less, you know there is a gap you can go after (just don't name your coworker when you ask for more, do market research and make it impersonal/just business). If you are making more, pass this advice on to your coworker.

If you are being paid fairly for the work you are doing, but know you can do more, start looking into what it takes to make a move. For example, you might be the best fast food or retail worker the world has ever had, but the job only pays so much. What else might you be good at? You could look for training in a trade or try to find an entry level role in a company that has a wider set of tasks available that offers a growth path.

I agree with a lot of the comments here about saving and investing and keeping expenses down, but growing your earnings is typically easier than shrinking your rent. It still isn't easy though, especially if you need to relocate to earn more.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›