this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024

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311

Elon Musk Reportedly Offered SpaceX Employees Sperm to Seed Mars Colony (futurism.com)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by kamenlady@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

36 comments fedilink hide all child comments

SpaceX employees' work is breaking barriers, while this asshat keeps terrorizing them with his utter gross bullshit

Edit: after reading through the article again, some passages stuck out, like:

Apart from aspiring to become the biological father for his Martian colony, Musk has leveraged many of his own businesses to create a civilization on Mars, including Boring Company tunnels to dig under the planet's surface and a Tesla Cybertruck rugged enough to traverse its mountainous landscapes.

So, take it all with a grain of salt.

*Emphasis mine

all 40 comments

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 90 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He has a dozen kids already. This dude needs to get his fetish under control.

[–] LavenderDay3544@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And most of them don't like him.

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago

Almost everyone who's ever known him for more than 20 minutes knows he's a raging narcissist without the actual smarts to back it.

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 71 points 3 months ago

Elon proving once again he is a fucking moron

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago

"No boss, we don't need your sperm. Please stop asking."

[–] formergijoe@lemmy.world 50 points 3 months ago

Elon totally has a my little pony in a jar.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Imagine going to Mars but it's just filled with Elon descendants.

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nuke it

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

If they're all like Vivian, that doesn't sound so bad

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Elongated

[–] xe3@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The cyber truck is almost rugged enough to Brave the Home Depot parking lot (so long as it’s been recently paved.

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago

Is anyone actually surprised? But ewww.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 33 points 3 months ago

Best way to start a colony is with a genetic bottleneck.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What a jerkoff

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah, this Elon guy sounds like a right wanker.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

This is just colonial monarchy with extra steps Edit: castrate the rich

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

I would like to sign up for a life of indentured servitude on Mars! The silver lining is it will be a short life.

[–] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)

TIL Elon keeps a cum jar.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago

He uses it to spice up his cereal.

[–] visikde@lemmings.world 21 points 3 months ago

Elmo put it back in your pants...

[–] sunzu@kbin.run 20 points 3 months ago

Teslatubby wants to propagate

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I offer everyone I meet sperm, it’s what makes me a great host.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Here's your sperm

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I'd take Chevy Chase's sperm if it was given to me by Walton Goggins.

[–] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Inbred martians... Neat.

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 3 months ago

Imagine having the misfortune of not only being stuck on mars, but also having to share your genes with this greasy fuck.

[–] uberdroog@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

"Just cup your hands" - probably.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago

Anyone know how much the additional ~30 pounds of a human man, compared to a human woman and a test tube of cum, would cost to fly to mars? How many women would each mission need to take to offset the weight of a precisely calibrated refrigerator full of spunk? If, upon arrival on mars, they immediately begin pouring cum all over the ground, how delicious would Elon’s tears be?

[–] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

EwwwLon

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

He really does think he is Horatio from Endless Space.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hope when we get to Mars we are over the whole car idea and can start building train and path tracks instead of doing suburb 2 electric bogaloo

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

any real colonization will be corporate sponsored and whatever is built there will be the most urban hellscape you can imagine.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago

"Sorry, your colony didn't pay the oxygen fee so we sealed all connections to other colonies"

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

More baby Elons?

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

If I was a SpaceX employee, I would not accept sperm in exchange for seeding a mars colony

[–] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

If he/they did go through with this I’d start a GoFundMe to reward the employee(s) that successfully sabotages the effort, wether by substituting their own sample or any other verifiable means.