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Trump will lose if Biden keeps consuming Baja Blast, that's why the deepstate made it available all year for the "Bajaversary".
I'M JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW I'LL COME AT YOU LIKE A SPIDER MONKEY OLD MAN
Like a spider monkey! Git ‘im!
Yeah this whole conspiracy line has gotta be based on a movie making fun of NASCAR drivers. You don't make that phrase with that verbiage without that movie. I'm not sure the guy who said it knows it's from a movie or not, but I know the guy he heard it from must.
That's literally the only explanation. No one just says that shit.
Is he a frail, senile, old man? Or does pop pop crave the BLAST of tropical energy from an ice-cold MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST!?!? Which is it, repubs?
Don't get between me and my soda, Jack
You want to check my shape, let’s do push-ups together. Let’s run. Let’s do whatever you want to do. You may call me old, but I'm just old school. I'm cool. I'm ice cold. I've got Baja Blast flowing in my veins. Pop pop's jacked up on the Dew and will take you out behind the woodshed. That's how they did it in my day and that's a fact, Jack.
Reads like those AI dr pepper youtube vids
I put Jack in my soda.
Mountain Dew float with chocolate chocolate chip ice cream vs covfefe and hamberders, battle of the century
I wish all it took was a can of Mountain Dew to "fix" dementia. I would have had so much more quality time with all those older relatives.
Hey, kids, if your grandparents are still around and coherent, take the time to ask them about their lives when they were younger.
Oh no
Not Mountain Dew
Just say no, kids
This is the weirdest paid product placement I've ever seen. We really need to get money out of politics... /s
Next on Faux News...Biden officials caught taking dihydrogen monoxide, a dangerous performance enhancing chemical known to kill thousands of Americans each year simply by inhaling it. Sources tell us they'd have pitchers of this stuff everywhere. They serve it at meeting right out in the open. Some staff members tested were found to have nearly blood contamination levels as high as .45! An aerosolized version of the compound is a key component in chem-trails left by airplanes, and many scientists believe that having so much in the atmosphere is a key driver of severe storms the liberal elite blame on so-called "climate change"
Wait, .45 seems like a really low amount of water in your blood. Are we not counting the cytoplasm in the blood cells?
It was a rough estimate. 50% plasma, which is 90% water.
I wish the Dems had felt more confident in 2020, or that Kamala Harris had proven to be a more vibrant personality able to take the reins in 2024. I wish the Overton window in the US were farther to the left. But that's not the fight in front of us; we are where we are.
I don't think anybody denies that Biden is in physical and a sort of general mental decline. He's old AF. I tend to think "turning it on" just takes a lot out of him and maybe requires a couple of days of R&R which you don't normally get as president, but I would hardly be surprised if they give him a little chemical helper sometimes. If taking a stimulant just makes you feisty and articulate and able to pop off a solid State of the Union speech then, again, that just speaks to your being old. Someone who literally doesn't know what they're doing will be the same idiot, but higher energy...
You know, like Trump.
Cuz, you know, Trump is all jacked on meth just like his man crush Hitler was so they all gotta project.
They better prop Biden up somehow if he is gonna be subjected to hours of huffing Baron VonShitzenpantz McDonald's Big Mac flatulence.
How dare they disparage president Joseph Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Biden in such a way!