this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2024
149 points (95.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12290 readers
1313 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16933715

Florida man sneezes his intestines out of his body at restaurant

I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 34 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

For everyone not wanting to read the article, he lived. They checked his intestines for injury and sewed him back up.

The last sentence is the best though:

"While wound dehiscence is a well-known complication, this case is important because evisceration through the abdominal surgical site after cystectomy is poorly described in the medical literature,” the article concludes.

[–] ramirezmike@programming.dev 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

"thank you, doctor"

"no sir, thank you!"

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago
  1. I heal you
  2. U heal me [ET glowing finger] 🤞
[–] Mango@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Your intestines should not be in your lungs. If they are, probably skip to prayer because the doctors might not make it in time.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 32 points 4 months ago (2 children)

He had an incision from surgery, in his abdomen. It came out that way.

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They’re joking about the sneeze meaning it shot out his mouth from inside his lungs.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

No, that's actually how I envisioned this. 😵

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago
[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Basic first aid for this taught in nursing school: cover in sterile abdominal pad wetted with saline solution. Keep moist. Prepare for surgery.

Common enough that its taught in the basics and overall not a big deal. It's just that usually this sort of thing happens only in the hospital.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yup. Which, didn’t mention the gauze because out and about, most people won’t have access to it (or sterile saline,)

I assume he had been given instructions on it, though.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Every first aid kit in a restaurant should have a bottle of saline and some gauze for treating burns and eye injuries. There will not, however, be anybody that knows how to use said first aid kit and the owners are unlikely to be very proactive in replacing supplies.

[–] yemmly@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

No, no, no-no, no-no-no-no, no-no-no!

[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The journal notes that the case is an important one because it fills in gaps in the literature about dehisence, the bursting of wounds.

The wordplay is strong with this one...

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Somebody had fun with that one…,

Weirdos.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] AThing4String@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

You actually made me lol in this airport thank you

[–] Carighan@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I decided to nope out after the beginning, too. Seen too much shit in the one year I volunteered at the hospital, don't need a reminder of those. What the fuck...

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

I mean I stuck around just long enough to cross post, so, eh… good on you for volunteering…

[–] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 9 points 4 months ago

Hate it when that happens

[–] JPAKx4@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 months ago

New bowel movement just dropped

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Who ordered the haggis?

[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The guy seems fine after treatment.... Not a great experience though.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As long as the intestines don’t get sliced up or covered in crap (and need debriding,) they’ll just button it back up and repeat the healing process. This time with added instructions to not sneeze.

He had abdominal surgery, and the force of sneezing opened up the incision. Which isn’t exactly unheard of. The big thing is to avoid making it worse. Which sounds obvious, but people are dumb; and when they just blew their guts out their stomachs…. People are even dumber.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm still noped out from when I read an article that an Indian guy assidentally blew up his buddy with an air pump thing you use fo fill tires or something else with air.

1/10 homicide, yuck

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

You sure it wasnt a fetish-thing? That sounds a lot like something idiots would do. (Right up there with getting your dick stick in a pool filter intake… the guy actually thinks he’s entitled to workman’s comp, and unemployment benefits, too….)

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

No idea, didnt get those vibes but it was more a crime piece so I dunno if it ever delved that deep. People can be so freaking stupid and depraved or ironically vengeful I really couldn't know

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If it's the one I found looking online, the guy's boss did it as a practical joke and didn't "blow him up", but caused internal damage that he died from 15 days later.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Okay, that sounds like freaking awful way to go.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

whoopsie poopsie!

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 months ago

Could obliterate a hot dog eating contest though.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 points 4 months ago

Florida man strikes back

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

Taking the meaning of sneezing your guts out to another level

[–] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Reminds me of Popavalium Andropoff's gutsy effort

(Guessing this didn't make it out of Aus much, there's a reference in this UrbanDictionary link for the uninitiated)

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

That is so strange.