this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Rules for Fae (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to c/rpgmemes@ttrpg.network
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16725859

Rule

Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:

  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Never reveal your full name.
  • Accept nothing They offer you.
  • Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
  • To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
  • Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
  • Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
top 17 comments
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[–] neo@lemy.lol 50 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I'm trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.

You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:

C: "Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for tomatoes."

You: "We are out for today."

C: "Oh, that's unfortunate."

You: "" (still avoiding eye contact)

C: "Well, how about I come back tomorrow?"

You: "There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow."

C: "Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?"

You: "If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes."

C: "Are you alright?"

Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.

[–] activ8r@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 months ago

Uh-huh. What's wrong with that? Seems perfect.

[–] RandomLegend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 5 months ago

Describes my typical retail experience, i wouldn't call that weird at all :D

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 18 points 5 months ago

This seems accurate

[–] Tropper@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago

I don't know why, but I can only read this in a robot-like monotone way. Which makes it so much better.

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 42 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I mean, that might be true if you don't have any customer service skills. I did my time in food service, retail, and hospitality and I was good at my job because I broke pretty much every one of those rules.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 57 points 5 months ago (3 children)

No amount of soft skills will get people to read signs though

[–] neo@lemy.lol 24 points 5 months ago

I haven't read your post, but you are obviously wrong!

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 4 points 5 months ago

Now that one is true

[–] InquisitiveApathy@lemm.ee 40 points 5 months ago

The key is to know which rules to break with which customer though. That's the hard part.

[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How long ago and in which country? Because it seems particularly the US is seen as a bad place for that and especially recently.

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 3 points 5 months ago

It's in the US, and it's been a minute, but things have always been bad regarding customers. You just gotta know how to handle the bad ones.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

I can see these rules being applied if you worked at a fast food min wage or a supermarket as a stocker in a bad store. I'm referring to places where Karens abuse fresh wide-eyed teenagers hoping to change the world. In my city right now, there's a bunch of places like that, like a Wendy's in the hood or a Supermarket that has to lock up mouthwash. Its depressing.

[–] MonkderDritte@feddit.de 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Is that a US thing? Not here atleast.

[–] azrendelmare@ttrpg.network 13 points 5 months ago

It is a US thing, although exaggerated for comedy. At least when I was in retail, I did several of those things.

[–] Reznik@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 months ago

This is the reason why retail is dying.