this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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He made angels unsexy so wouldn’t be distracted by them…!?

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 71 points 5 months ago (5 children)

God is neither man nor woman.

But I bet it has holes.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

Straight to ~~jail~~ hell

[–] clubb@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Except God is referred to as "He" in the Bible?

[–] LordAmplifier@pawb.social 10 points 5 months ago

Nonbinary people can use he/him pronouns, too, if they want. And God's pronouns have a capital H, so I guess you could make an argument that they kinda sorta are neopronouns uwu

[–] Successful_Try543@feddit.de 7 points 5 months ago

There is probably no gender neutral variant in ancient Hebrew.

[–] rxin@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 months ago

God is the all-gender

Yahweh (who later became "god) is definitely a man, cock and all. He used to be depicted with horns or as a golden calf, with a huge, oversized novelty dong.

Theres a reason moses came back with extra commandments, the second time.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 52 points 5 months ago (3 children)

He made angels unsexy

If that was true, Lot wouldn't have had to beat off a crowd with his desexing stick and offer up his own daughters to be fucked instead of the angels that came to visit him.

[–] Moops@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago

In that story, the angels took the form of men. Apparently super hot men lol.

Most of the biblical descriptions of what angels really look like are fucking terrifying.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Horny and unsexy are not mutually exclusive

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

True. You've basically described me.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Now now, everyone is sexy to someone

[–] JizzmasterD@lemmy.ca 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If I remember correctly, he didn’t fight the horny mob at all, he offered his daughters to them.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They weren't horny. It was a ritual of dominance and exile, much like tar-and-feathering. In the days of the Hebrews, death by snu-snu was a common way to dispose of unwanted strangers. The whole encounter was a symptom of the wrongdoing of Sodom, specifically, of hording wealth and failing to welcome the stranger and the immigrant, failing to uplift the poor and feed the hungry and treat the sick.

Fixating on buggery is to distract from modern societies that repeat these same acts of wickedness (looking at you, United States). Wanting to snu-snu the angels was essentially the equivalent of children-in-cages policies today.

Only now, human societies, especially the United States have harnessed the power to raze cities with fire from the sky.

Oh and women who read the story of Lot and his daughters see that he got drunk on his own and raped his own progeny. This act is so common the US has PSA billboards about it (e.g. Your Daughter Is Not Your Date! ). Victim-blaming is also typical.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you read the story you'll find that it was Lot's daughters who raped their father.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

~~That was the daughters of Noah. You're mixing up your Bible lore a bit.~~

I was wrong! My bad on that.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Genesis 19:30-38

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab[a]; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[b]; he is the father of the Ammonites[c] of today.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 months ago

You're right, my apologies. Been a good while since I've cracked open the book.

Either way, good wholesome biblical tales for the whole family!

[–] Theme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 months ago

Oh that's some fun words to read

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This act is so common the US has PSA billboards about it (e.g. Your Daughter Is Not Your Date! ).

Is this real?

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I... think?

It looks like there's at least one that made the news. However it is a common story I've heard from victims in the recovery community.

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Yeah that does look real, not sure if it does more good than harm by putting it on a billboard.

And unfortunately it does seem to be common enough that even as a guy I've met a woman who had this happen to her and told me, and assumably many others who didn't say anything about the experience.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 5 months ago

The stick thing is a reference to this absolute gem.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 34 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Y'all should see what the devil originally looked like. Dude was HUNG.

I tried searching it up, but I only found porn.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bold of you to assume people don't find biblically accurate angels sexy

[–] tb_@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Eww! Why does that angel have a humanoid body? I demand my sexy angels with no humanoid features! 🤤

[–] tb_@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

It's what I had on hand 😔

[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] nifty@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

I liked the paths in SMT where you killed both

[–] Iloveyurianime@ani.social 11 points 5 months ago

Dawg that biblically accurate angel gonna trigger a defcon 1 alert if it randomly existed while the demon one would probably in some random anime convention soo ill probably side with the demon one to be safe

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Isn't the top-left image Cupid (i.e. a god)?

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah, that's a generic cherub. Reasonable question because both are depicted as children.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's a putto, which has intersection with depictions of Cupid and cherubim. Biblically accurate cherubim look like this:

Proginoskes, a cherubim in A Wind In The Door by Madeleine L'Engle was quite annoyed that cherubs were depicted as putti.

Eros is young and boyish, but regarded as adult, and Apollo (his rival in Olympian archery competitions) likes to mock him for looking childlike.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

Oops, I was confused as well!