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WYR: If your toilet was sentient would you rather it crave your poop or hate you for it.
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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Would You Rather
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Welcome to c/WouldYouRather, where we present you with the toughest, most ridiculous choices you never knew you had to make! Would you rather have a third arm that's only useful for picking your nose, or be able to talk to animals but only if they're wearing hats? Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. Come for the absurdity, stay because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your life.
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Well, if it has a tongue that means it probably developed alongside us evolutionarily - right?
Like this is no longer "your toilet is possessed by someone with a scat fetish". Not if it has a tongue, that means this is a biological creature that lives off of our shit. Considering the value feces has in regards to replenishing nutrients in soil, we should probably consider these toilets some kind of parisitic - or more accurately symbiotic being. Sort of like a mimic, only it eats your shit.
Why did I think of this? Why would I take the time to use my precious fucking neurons conjuring up the beginnings of "shit eating mimic" taxonomy? Well, you asked "What if it has a tongue...". The answer is that you would probably be used to it, and it would probably lick your asshole.
You did this. I want you to know this is your fault.
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I wish it's a mildly scratchy tongue. Get that itch I don't want to scratch.
R34 when?