this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2023
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I think dating should be more accidental, as well. Meet someone at the bus stop and ask them out, that sort of thing.
Barry Schwartz (if you want more boomer opinions, look him up) made the excellent point that it's very difficult for us to be pleasantly surprised these days. Everything we do now comes with expectations. Before a date, we look at their profile. Before a meal, we look up the restaurant ratings. Before buying anything, we read all the reviews, etc. Before we experience anything, it's already been marketed to us. It's great in a lot of ways, but it means that the best we can ever hope for is to be not disappointed. It's becoming very very rare that something will exceed our expectations and we will be pleasantly surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if this has impacts on our psychology.
As it relates to dating, I think it's nice when you stumble upon a good connection when it's least expected, rather than swiping through 1000 pictures. And on your first date, you should probably have no idea what the other person might be like.