this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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Was talking with my therapist about how it's possible to completely lose one's own identity to people-pleasing - when you grow up being constantly preoccupied with concerns about what other people want, and the ideal outcome is always whatever makes everyone else happy, it's possible to simply not learn to know yourself at all. If the only thing you've ever strived for in life is to make everyone else happy, you just never pause to think what you want, or what you would enjoy, independently from anyone else's desires.

As an example of this, I recalled that for the longest time, I just didn't listen to music when I was alone, because the thought never occurred to me. I didn't have my own taste in music, I was fine with listening to whatever the people I was with wanted to listen to, but whose music would I be listening to if I wasn't with anyone else? She thought this was a great observation, and gave me a homework assignment to find a song I like, just on my own and for myself, and show it to her next week.

So I guess my therapist is about to learn about the existence of mongolian folk metal.

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[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That's how my music tastes have been described in the past

Everywhere and everything

Though I can be picky when it comes to my country music tastes. For example Bro Country is not on the menu.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

This is the way to be. There is so much good music out nowadays, and being a hater will just end up with you missing out on some really good stuff.

I can't do any of the garbage modern country stuff, either, but I can listen to modern bluegrass. That genre is full of shredders.

I like to imagine I have 'musical ADHD', because I can really enjoy everything from classical music, to death metal, to hip hop, to jazz, to pop, etc. I find I get bored if I listen to just one genre for too long.

[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago

I think enjoy particular music without being an asshat about all other music.

I can name you a few of my favorite artists (digitalism, Savant, bossfight, Metric) but just because I like their music and electro in general doesn't mean I physically can't listen to other genres.

[–] BirdyBoogleBop@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The only music I can clearly say I don't like is the 20 songs they play on the radio. They really love to grind those songs into dust.

Yeah, overplay sucks. It's especially annoying when you actually start out liking the song. All it takes is a week of it being overplayed on the radio to run any joy you once experienced into the ground.