spoiler
alt text: A two panel comic. In the first panel there are two buttons labeled "I don't believe in prescriptivism" and "'Literally' cannot mean 'figuratively'". A finger hovers between the buttons. In the second panel, the finger's owner is sweating and wiping his brow, unable to decide.
Take the utilitarian position: the word "literally" is more useful if it is distinct from the word "figuratively", but in most other cases descriptivist definitions are more useful.
I take the pessimist position, which is similar to yours, but I still hate people who don't do what I want.
I just get annoyed when people use it in ambiguous context and it creates confusion.
Counterpoint: raw utility is overrated and goofy vibes are much more enjoyable.
This is why English is such a linguistically fucked language now lol
How is English any more or less linguistically fucked than any other natural language?