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It would be nice! Do you mind me asking what you've done to find happiness? Probably the best thing a therapist ever suggested was making a list of people to call when I'm in crisis mode. I don't even discuss my problems, just calling and talking about anything helps.
Oh, it's a very long story and so personal, but I don't mind trying to express what has worked. I also was undiagnosed for ADHD until the age of 42. I had to take a series of psychiatric medications to heal up from the stress of being undiagnosed for so long and basically torturing myself to achieve in life, before I could even tolerate the typical stimulant treatments.
Once I got stronger, I could tolerate stimulants and it has been a god-send (irony intentional!). It didn't cure me at all, but it gave me more wherewithal to apply the coping skills I have worked so hard to learn. So the same old things that never worked very well before quite suddenly became more effective. I feel sometimes like I am having to grow up all over again, which isn't all bad because that means my life has more possibility now.
I too have to force myself to reach out, but the benefits are profound when I can actually open up with my trusted circle.
I know everyone's journey is different, but I have developed some faith in modern mental health care. The field is full of people that sincerely want to help. Yes, I had to do most if not all the work myself, but the support and concern of some highly skilled people helped me get better results from the work.
If you can't tell, I'm in a stage in life where I am 'coming out' about my own mental struggles. Hiding the pain has done me no favors, so I frankly don't care anymore about what judgement people might make of me.
Thank you for sharing. My husband was also diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD well into adulthood. Just the insight into what's caused so many of his personal struggles has helped immensely, I think.