this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
170 points (93.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26664 readers
1670 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I think I got a crush on my dance instructor. Which fucking sucks for all the obvious reasons. Normally I wouldn't be so worried. BUT I JUST HAD A GODDAMN ROMANTIC DREAM ABOUT HER. Seriously I just woke up from a dream about her confessing her love to me and me eagerly doing the same about her.

So how do you stop a crush from developing further? Because this is a well from which only disappointment may be drawn.

Edit: I am single btw.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Usernameblankface@lemmy.world 63 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

In my experience, get to know the person, as a person. I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.

This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.

[–] macattack@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Isn't getting to know someone better the exact same path you would take if you like them too?

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Didn't hear any compelling reasons as to why an actual relationship would be bad. Having a relationship with an authority figure (teacher, doctor, therapist, etc) is taboo and often illegal, but if there's really a connection there it should be doable to change up schedules or find new instruction so there's no conflict anymore. Most of my crushes though have been very superficial and a few conversations dispelled the fantasy.

[–] throwawaysalami@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.

That's pretty damn well put.

This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.

There is maybe a tiny window. But it's worth a shot.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I had a crush and had this like, idea* of who they might be.

Got to know them more and more, and… they’re exactly the person my imagination fabricated.

Anyway, we’re married and shit now. I wish the same for every person with a crush.

[–] Usernameblankface@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

that is the ideal way it works out. It's rare but awesome.