Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
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Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
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Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
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Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
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Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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So I was in a very stereotypically chauvinist situation last week: Two colleagues and I took a customer (all 4 of us men) out for lunch after(/as part of) a sales call. After the waitress left to put in our orders, the customer made a pre-excuse and then joked something like
I don't remember how I reacted. I'm also not sure what I wish I had said.
completely understandable, it sounds like it totally came out of the blue. i've gotten caught off guard a lot by shit like this too and been unsure of how to react, definitely don't feel bad about it
if you manage to get your bearings, if something like that happens again, a good way to approach this sort of situation is to ask the person to explain the joke. so, for example:
"well, that's definitely putting a rack on a shelf"
"haha... yeah uh, what do you mean by that?"
they try to explain it without sounding sexist but sound sexist and feel silly afterwards
honestly though, i would have asked them to explain it anyways. you clearly sensed the intent behind it, so i totally get that it was sexist. but like, wtf does that even mean?? putting a rack on a shelf? huh??? i would have filled in the details more but i genuinely don't get it 💀💀💀
anyways, i'm sorry you had to hear that kind of shit from a client. it's tough because i'm sure that's a situation where you have to be really cognizant of the relationship. fwiw, you don't need to chase them down or be really mean about the whole thing; usually getting them to realize by themselves that they're being sexist is enough. you can just be pretty apologetic about not understanding their "joke"
Rack on a shelf I took to mean her breasts being pushed up and displayed by her bra.