Asklemmy

43831 readers

1161 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you? (linux.community)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

37 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm letting people who hurt me in the past live rent free in my mind.

One episode involves a former landlord that tried to run me over in an intersection with no traffic cameras.

Another one involves a manager that fired me for informing that one of his favorites yelled during night shift and ignored alarms to talk. He fired me the next day, used the exit interview to tell me everything I didn't do right (but kept quiet about his favorites, even though I did the job like them), still had the utmost confidence on his favorites, accused me of being lazy and instead of simply firing me and keeping neutral he chose to take it personal, proceeded to try to scare me insinuating I wouldn't work for his system again, when that failed, tried to humiliate me and then fired me. This was in an non union hospital.

When I think about it I get angry. Id like not to be so thin skinned, but here I am.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This quote from Worf (ST:TNG). Admittedly I’m still working at it and by no means perfect, but it does help when thoughts like this from the past arise:

“Thinking about what you can't control only wastes energy, and creates its own enemy.” - Lt. Worf

It’s simplistic and sounds easier than it is given such complicated topics. But on the surface, it does help me to remember why it’s ultimately not in my best interest to think about destructive/negative things.

[–] Chriswild@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

You can't heal if you tear the wound open again and only the dead never scar over. Surviving is hard enough, you don't need to carry the weight of those you hate.