this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
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Neurodivergence

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I'm looking for a little advice because I'm feeling pretty lost. Without going too far into it, my manager at work is using things that she knows are part of my disability, autism, to give others a negative impression of my work performance and conduct, and causing me to be disciplined. I believe she's trying to have me fired or get me to quit. She's also been giving me an excessive workload, being rude, not giving me feedback or information, and outright lying about me. I've been with the company for almost a decade, she's been with it for less than two years, and I've never had any issues like this. I'd always disclosed my disability, which is how she knew about it, but never requested accommodations because no one gave me problems. My director and VP seem to be on her side and working with her to get rid of me.

After dealing with this for a few weeks and turning into a nervous, stressed out mess, I replied to an email she sent and outlined exactly how things she was saying was discrimination and a legal liability for the company. I asked to be reassigned to a different manager. I sent it to a bunch of higher ups on Friday evening, including the head of HR. I've also been going through the formal accommodation process and my doctor got them the paperwork on Thursday.

I'm now terrified to go into work on Monday. I'm scared I'm going to be dragged into a meeting room and intimidated into recanting my statements or told that what I've experienced isn't really discrimination. I'm worried they're going to say no to any accommodations, no matter how narrowly I've constructed them. I'm afraid they all hate me and want me gone or they're going to fire me. I don't want to go in at all.

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through anything like this and can give me advice for what to do beyond just documenting everything as I've already been doing. Has anyone dealt with this and come out on top? Had similar experiences? How do I not feel so afraid?

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[–] solariplex 1 points 11 months ago

That's unfortunate. I'm not sure what the situation is at your location, but here in Norway literally every type of work from cleaning shores, through industry and even CEOs, have their respective union. So there might be a relevant union for your workplace, still. Safety for the employees lies in numbers.

In the short term though, I'd recommend reaching out to a local/regional union-of-interest, like a "disabilities-in-the-workplace" watchdog organization.

Your boss&CO sound willing to infantilize you, if it becomes a case, so solid evidence of their conduct is important. though let's hope your emails solved it, and makes them realize their wrongs.

Keep recordings of all work meetings the coming year

  • keep your phone in your pocket, make sure your phone mic is pointed in the right direction, and test sound quality beforehand. Garble is not useful for anything.
  • if possible, you should have a 'panic' button sequence on your phone, to hide/stop recording.
  • do not admit you have faults not caused by your condition, on tape!
  • You have the right to know who will be part of a meeting, and what the meeting is about, beforehand. They can still spring a meeting on you, if they don't care.