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Hey OP. Kudos on acknowledging your feelings and expressing them ;)

TL;DR: your reaction makes a lot of sense, don't stay alone with this, lots of empathy

Where I speak from : I'm a white and socially cisgendered male, 35 yo, living in France. I had the chance to go to university and to have several educations.

I have been a climate change and biodiversity collapse educator and activist for 3 years, and I'm currently struggling with crippling adhd, depression and anxiety after a rough burn out.

I try to base my opinion on the IPCC reports which I regard as the best science consensus provider on climate-related matters (more on the IPCC at the end of the post).

In my opinion, being terrified by climate change is a very appropriate emotionnal response.

What scientists say about the amount of suffering climate change already inflicts to hundreds of thousand is hard to fathom, and imagination fails to grasp how much worse it's going to get in the coming decades.

To my understanding, humanity as a species is not under threat, and we will not all die in 50 years. But a huge amount of people already suffer and die from climate change and it's going to get much much worse. As usual, the less privileged you are (and the less you contribute to climate change), the worse you have it.

CO2 emissions keep going up when scientist agree that they should be cut in half by 2030 and divided by 3 or 4 by 2050.

The IPBES (same as IPCC but for biodiversity) current analysis reinforces the "we're in deep shit and we're diving faster and faster" feeling.

And while individual action is absolutely necessary, it is by large insufficient without structural collective change.

I also feel terrorized. And so angry. And more sad than I'll ever by able to express. And so fucking frustrated.

I found that sense of community is what keeps me going. I met some great people in environmental ngos, and getting together to do something about it is a great feeling. Having a drink together and ranting about how hard it is to witness our collective failure makes is really not as bad as doing it bu myself. And crying among friends feels a lot better than crying alone, for me.

So I wish for you to find people around you who understand the world in the same way you do, who care as much as you do. I wish for you to find safe spaces in which you can stop pretending it's ok, in which you don't need to explain yourself, to have a debate about whether or not climate change is a big deal, in which you can let your emotions flow. I wish for you to find meaning, belonging and even happiness in action.

Take good care of yourself, the wolrd needs you in good shape !

Btw, compiling and summarizing together papers about the mechanism and impact of climate change is exactly the job of the IPCC. They take in account thousands of papers from all the fields related to climate change, write a draft an publish it, wait for questions/criticism/corrections to be sent by all the scientists who want to contribute (for several months) and then they correct their draft and publish the final version. I recommand reading at least the key points of the "Summary for policymakers" of the 6th assessment report..