this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
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I'd get a team of the best lawyers I could find to sit down with the genie and me to hash out a lengthy contract devoiding any intentional curse and put in a hefty monetary incentive for the lawyers to get it right, as well as punishment clauses for breaking it, then wish that the genie had to unwaveringly abide by that contract. That way, if he makes me suffer he has to suffer too or redo my request to my satisfaction.
Then I'd probably write in a steady, better than average and reasonably liveable income without having to work for it for the rest of my natural life.
Pretty sure I saw this concept in an early episode of fairly odd parents.
Genies are not considered humans and thus cannot enter into a legal agreement. Courts find your contract null and void and the Genie still gets always with screwing up your wish.
If my wish is for the genie to abide by the contract, then the thing holding him accountable is his own magic, not a human or court. The lawyers aren't there to follow the law, they're there to see that the contract is logistically sound.
If a genie cannot be beholden to his own magic, then there's really no point in expecting any kind of wish to be free of a curse anyway because he's just going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you wish for.
ding, ding ding and there in lies the inherent issue with genies. People only think they’re doing what you wish. Their goal is to creatively screw you over.
I mean sure, but assuming that he doesn't have to abide by the wish in question in any way pretty much voids the point of this entire post right?
At this point in the argument, on your logic, the post itself might as well be "Make a wish, it doesn't matter what. A malevolent genie is going to arbitrarily screw you"
So then what's the point?
This is a fascinating world building question. Genies are supposed to be magical, extremely powerful beings, but they only become interesting when bound by rules - either set by the limitations of the world, or of their magic.
A "fuck you I do what I want" genie isn't interesting because there's nothing to figure out in the context of the world the genie inhabits. And that world's context and structure ultimately dictates what makes sense to an audience, and what seems jarring or out of place.
The way a genie fulfills wishes and how it tries to worm out of it can tell you much of the fictional world it inhabits!
This is exactly my point. The genie, and by extension this post, isn't interesting unless the genie is bound by his own magic somehow. So why assume he is not?
I don’t know why people wish for money rather than immortality. Compounding interests baby!
There are far too many ways for an immortality wish to make your life hell in ways that a money wish uh, wishes it could.
That’s the secret; if all wishes can be cursed, all wishes can be cursed with an immortal hell.
Enjoy living to see the heat death of the universe in 10^100 years or so.
Immortality has its own set of complications. Like seeing everyone you love die. Out living the earth, solar system. Being stuck for eternity in the heat death of the universe. I mean, I guess a longer life but not immortal might be desirable. Personally, my only wish would be to live comfortably.
“In the way that I hope for, and in the way that I expect” should cover it, I think
there is no intentional curse but making you immortal is what the average human wishes for. Genie argues that it's truly a bonus. You live a normal natural life, but instead of dying, you keep living. The money stops, and you live forever. Having to return to work after not working your entire life.